Innocuous things that make you irrationally angry (a list thread)

abbs, what's an eyeliner kid? Never heard that term!

I guess whatever catachall term for whatever eyeliner-wearing death-obsessed subculture of the day my 8th graders are in that leads them to end their stories with "AND THEN SHE COMMITED SUISIDE" bcz I am p sure they don't get called goths anymore.

I mean I was totally one of those kids in my day "DID YOU KNOW EVERYTHING IS ABOUT DEATH" and I guess I just toned down the eyeliner over the years but not the purple prose.

automatic response "Thanks, you too"

Which doesn't always work with "Happy Birthday", for instance.

"SU-SU-SUISIDE...
http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3153/2700096028_a1229bb4ee.jpg
...WOAH-OH!

Not innocuous by any means, but I'm getting increasingly pissed off at drivers wanting to turn right on red and are so impatient with you for daring to cross the street IN THE CROSSWALK AND WITH THE WALK signal that they inch forward at you. Just an fyi people, this will only make me walk SLOWER.

I have been known to stop and explain "RELAX. I HAVE THE FUCKING LIGHT." I'm kind of an aggro pedestrian and going to get shot one day.

I've been honked at for crossing on the walk signal. Oh to carry a golf club...

tbh, I've often slapped the backs of cars that've nearly run me down in the crosswalk, as they're passing. It's great fun, but it'll probably end w. me shot

I've done that before, mostly to cabbies who are the WORST at such behavior. Been tempted to hock up a nice muscousy loogie on the windows before, but that would probably end with shot.

you have to excuse the cabbies a little. big city cabbies have such a miserable job, you have to expect them to be crabby

Uh no I don't have to excuse anyone threatening to hit my with a car!

they dont actually hit pedestrians though. maybe give 'em a scare, but cabbies toe the line pretty well.

I've seen three people hit by cabs in the last six months!

Not like, bone shattering hit, but nicking them by engaging in exactly the behavior I described above!

no, they do hit people. and not uncommonly. i mean, as somebody who's seen car vs. pedestrian. pedestrians are unprotected idiots clad in textiles, whereas cars are idiots hurtling through space in gigantic hunks of metal. certain rules protect everybody, like the crosswalk. crosswalk is easy: don't go through it if somebody is in it or about to be in it. the end. if you're in a crosswalk and somebody comes screaming past you, you're well within your rights (if unwise) to smack their car.

Not like, bone shattering hit, but nicking them by engaging in exactly the behavior I described above!

but not enough to actually knock anyone down? tbh i've never heard of that happening but i'll take your word for it

i agree with remy here, pedestrians can be stupid too. here they just run out in the middle of the road, forcing 4 lanes to slow down for them. nobody's good at it.

many xps - makes sense, Abbs, I like it! Thanks!

An Open Letter to the NYC Cab Driver Who Hit Me

(trigger warning: Cracked.com)

I friend of mine was hit and killed by a car a little over two years ago and ever since then I occasionally get really really nervous while crossing the street. Just the morning I thought I saw something out of the corner of my eye and my heart sort of skipped a beat. I rarely jay walk because of this too. R's right, btw, cabbies are pretty much the worst when it comes to reckless driving.

A friend not "I" friend, obv.

Due to a few diagonal streets, there are several 5-way intersections in Chicago. Those make me particularly nervous when crossing. There is one near my apartment that basically cars will not yield to pedestrians because they fly through it at such high speeds, including a good 5 seconds after the light has turned red. I always have to do a blind spot check and then eventually yield to cars because I don't trust them to stop. This is the worst when a car is turning off the diagonal street onto the N/S street.

Ive stayed in Mexico for a few months and everything you guys are complaining about goes tenfold for some of the cities there. I think the unspoken rule of traffic is that busses have the right of way first, then cars, then pedestrians. Actually busses don't so much have right of way as they are exempt from all traffic laws entirely.

People thinking the phrase "u mad" means "u crazy"

IA: old white men* who treat me like a god damn secretary.

*Before you get your boxers in a twist, I am specifically speaking of the five old white men who do not work here yet who have come into my office asking me to type things, take messages, and deliver documents for them this morning.

People thinking the phrase "u mad" means "u crazy"

Wait, it doesn't?

instead of "old", "white", or "men", can you just say "particular individuals" next time?

Nope.

either way, nothing irrational about that

I thought "u mad" (meaning angry) originated from the camron/bill o reily interview but mYbe I'm wrong?

I thought it did too.

I have no idea! I just always read it as "crazy" unless the context clearly meant "angry." I'm realizing this turns on the presence of a question mark.

U mad? = are you angry?
U mad! = You're crazy!

http://i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/166/323/tumblr_l8mr3lWtlB1qaobbko1_500.jpg

IA: old white men* who treat me like a god damn secretary.

I used to sit catty-corner to the office door of a top executive. He had a secretary who sat directly outside his door, but if she wasn't there, red-faced, fat-jowled old white men would come to my desk instead and ask me to do administrative stuff like check his appointments or answer his phone or etc. None of which I could even DO, because I DIDN'T WORK FOR HIM.

Bonus points for when they call you "Honey" or "Sweetie" or ask you to do them "a strawberry flavor."

or ask you to do them "a strawberry flavor"

WTF? Seriously?

laurel, you have worked for the worst sleazebags

I haven't, actually! But sales people are HOORRRRIBLE, and fat old white men who made their entire career in sales are the pond scum of the smarmy, oily earth.

Once when I was like 22 years old I saw a sales guy at the office I worked at give a sheaf of papers to one of our (female) web designers and ask her to fax them for him. I was like "Don't you know how to work the fax machine, man??" which completely humiliated him and I felt awesome. No I did not end up by putting the moves on the web designer. End of boasting story.

Wait, I have to take something back: I shouldn't have used the word "fat", that is totally wrong and unfair. It's not that they're heavy-set older gentlemen that makes them kind of gross. It's that they all have that florid complexion and sort of over-stuffed into their clothes look that suggests a heart attack is imminent. You get the feeling the most strenuous thing they do between whiskeys and porterhouse steaks is play a round of golf.

masters of the universe, emeritus

i.e. my old landlord, who told me he used to be 'a big goddamn cheese'

The dudes in question here are lawyers, which means they win the Unwarranted Entitlement sweepstakes like five times over. For these guys, pretty much anybody with boobs is fair game to demand administrative services from.

or ask you to do them "a strawberry flavor"

WTF? Seriously?

Yeah for real, there would be murder here.

The weird thing about these types is that most of them have very, very good nails

I still have to work with the strawberry flavor guy. He doesn't understand why I never accept his invitations to lunch.

frogbs is a treat, living in his world where taxi cabs magically never hit people and white, old men are an oppressed peoples

i am irrationally annoyed by knots in my armpit hair

(Ex) Sales director at my current company used to boss my wife around and ask her for cups of tea and stupid little favours like that.

He works at a competitor now and they wanted to get my wife in for an interview there but she told them to fuck off rather than work for that cunt again.

I get to hear details of Jenny's work stories and I get IE (Irrationally Enraged) about them. Fuck that dude. And fuck him for seeming like a pal rather than seeming like the POS he is.

xp - whoa.... i am irrationally annoyed by knots in my armpit hair

ime, the more a person of authority tries to pass themselves off as a "pal", the more likely they are to try to treat you like an indentured servant

how do you get knots in your armpit hair...

i dunno, by walking and moving my arms?

it's like how power/computer cords get mysteriously entangled in mere seconds, but in my armpits