Chicago MMXII

It's not as good as the time I got stuck in my coat in front of our old Big Boss but still. I surely know how to make an impression.

Maybe I should just settle in for the long haul at this job. I may not deserve any better.

don't be ridiculous
http://images2.fanpop.com/images/photos/2600000/Balki-Larry-perfect-strangers-2659324-459-586.jpg

"mother fucking titty sucking two ball bitch." reminds me that I've been wanting to vex an annoyingly Christmas-obsessed* FB friend by posting "God fuck us, one and all" as my status, but that's just a little too much, probably. So I share it with you all.

* It was carols and religious Xmas music all season, and he continues posting multiple updates on each of the 12 days of Xmas until Epiphany.

i like how cousin larry is holding an invisible (something) in that photo

pineapple?
baby?
5 lb handweight?
plate of chips and dip?

his balls

he is holding ACTING

His holy balls

seriously, just look at that picture and imagine that he's holding his own huge, distended ball sac

he is holding his dream of opening a junk shop with balki in chicago

and also one of his balls

the big one

I've probably mentioned this before, but Mark Linn-Baker was considered one of the preeminent interpreters of Chekhov to come out of Yale Drama School.

now he is simply cozzen larry

We all make choices.

he chose to cradle his invisible ball sac like a baby, his legacy is his reward

i remember some movie he was in with peter o'toole, where peter o'toole was a drunk movie star and linn-baker had to shepherd him around?

a guy i went to high school with called me "balki" b/c he said i looked like him.

i hope you said THAT'S RIDICULOUS and then engaged him in a folk dance

you and i should be balki and data for halloween next year

Per a previous conversation, the movie starting Michael Caine in which Sigourney Weaver rides an exercise bike while topless is called Half Moon Street.

I learned this by googling "Sigourney Weaver rides a bike topless." It's the first result.

I was talking about Michael Caine w/ you, but I don't remember Sigourney Weaver being a part of the conversation.

sarah says the art institute is free on weekdays this month fyi

We just finished Damages S1 last night. So good.

And so annoying that there seem to be no analyses on the Internet for me to read. (I guess no one got into it until the second season?)

when you guys read the reader's "people issue" do you get the impression that they're (mostly) just profiles of reader staffers' friends?

I don't think I paid much attention to that feature.

we're watching homeland (slowly), it's kind of ridiculous but gets by on strong acting by claire danes, mandy patinkin, and especially the oddly creepy damian lewis

xpost yeah

Does the reader have an app? They should.

you guys discovery center is offering a 50% off classes deal
finally, i can take one of their super sweet personal growth classes, like

"talk to anyone anytime, how to"

http://www.discoverycenter.cc/index/prsnlgr.htm

ott heart squeezingly painful to imagine a class that offers the following:

Want to learn how to talk to anyone at anytime and make a good impression. Are your fears of rejection in your way? Come learn how to:
o Overcome your fears
o Feel good about yourself and what you have to say
o Project self-confidence
o Start and continue conversations
We will practice self-image building and power communication skills. Alan Salami LCSW is an NLP Master Practitioner and Psychotherapist. He specializes in assisting people to learn new mental skills to transform their lives. Mat. Fee: $10

The Discovery Center kind of blows. Or at least you need to be v cautious and selective about what you teach there.

Sincerely,
The Asshole Who Paid for a Chicago Neighborhood Tour and Ended Up Trapped on a School Bus Listening to a House Flipping Ponzi Scheme Sales Pitch

"Alan Salami LCSW"

"To demonstrate what I'm talking about, we're going to act out a little exercise in social phobias -- I like to call this 'Hide the Salami'."

i took a class on proofreading there, it sucked

i am not actually suggesting that you guys take classes at the discovery center, i'm just kind of obsessed with it due to stuff like this "Alan Salami LCSW"

I want to take foreign accent reduction.

i could teach that class

re: talk to anyone anywhere

1) who signs up for that class? how many students? ages? gender distribution?
2) what does alan salami do to break the ice in the most socially tense room in chicago?
3) what do the students think of the class after they take it? do they feel more able to talk to strangers?

i bet changing your name to "alan salami" is a good way to start conversations.

q: 2) what does alan salami do to break the ice in the most socially tense room in chicago?
a: introduces himself "hello, my name is alan salami. alan salami is my name. and if i can go through life with this name, you can learn to talk to people too"

though most of those conversations will primarily consist of "wait, your name is alan salami?"
xpost

there are only seven results for a google image search for "alan salami," and none of them are pictures of a guy

Alan Salami -- the rumors are true

i've wondered about that place. i thought about taking classes there - how to do photoshop, for example.

Would that be worthwhile, do you think?

no

unless you're going to spy on the other classes and report back to me in exhaustive excruciating detail about what you saw

for real?

i also thought about taking an excel class

xp

I want to be "Danny Cappicola"