Kenny Dalglish Won't Be Delivering the Module: English Premiership 2011-12

HEY WHY DONT YOU GO DO SOME PORN AND THEN YOU TUBE IT SO THAT EVERYONE CAN SEE IT FOR FREE

No, he's taking his MLS swansong tonight, then joining PSG.

lol what? how did I miss this? did his contract expire or is this like him going on loan to Milan?

HEY GET A TEST TUBE THEN FILL IT WITH WATER AND PUT A STICK INSIDE IT THEN PUT IT IN A FREEZER THEN IT WILL BECOME ICE DIDLO THEN PUT SOME FUEL ON IT AND SET IT ON FIRE IT WILL BE FIRE AND ICE DIDLO THEN STOVE IT DEEP UP YOUR ASS FOR ALL I CARE ABOUT PSG AND MLS

His 5-year contract's up (already!). PSG move will be permanent I believe.

Yeah that seemed a quick 5 years! Can he still play? PSG just in it for the global image rights, yuh? Do they have to change their sponser from Nike to Adidas like Galaxy had to? So many questions, so little interest now I think about.

HE CAN SURELY JOIN GAY PORN INDUSTRY

Ha. No idea, now I think about it I haven't seen him for years. Assume he can still play, but not run.

YOU CAN RUN OFF THIS PLACE IF YOU WANT NO ONE WILL MISS YOU

I think keeping his eye in for the Olympics genuinely is his aim now.

oh shiii he's not going to be managing team gb is he?

Stuart Pearce is. Keep up man, this is what everyone's talking about.

i have shamed ilf

The actual team will be picked by government committe though, to ensure both acceptable diversity and presence of Beckham.

It will be designed to appeal to the same demographic as that charity game with Gordon Ramsay and Robbie Williams, and will be great.

HEY MOTHERFUCKERS ANYONE HERE EVERY HAD SEX WITH A MAN WELL I AM SURE YOU ALL ARE GAYS SO THAT IS A STUPID QUESTION RIGHT??

i was frankly delighted with the tera patrick shots

HEY THEN FUCK OFF THIS THREAD ISMAEL KLATA WELL ARE YOU MUSLIM OR WHAT THEN THAT MAKES SENSE ALL MUSLIMS ARE TERRORSITS SO YOU MUST BE ONE TOO

― Newgod, Sunday, 20 November 2011 08:44 (1 month ago)

so yeah, john terry triumphed over adversity and all is right in the world of fitba again

I had no idea John Terry had been trolling this thread before ILX broke

Oh, is this where we're discussing it now?

1 month passes...

I never want to see this on an EPL thread again

that's what june is for tbh

Upset I missed the coming of Newgod to this thread

it was fun

we moved to the newcastle thread iirc to actually discuss football

because you couldnt not still discuss football

Been thinking a lot about the Suarez report and something about his total inability to speak any English seemed odd, then I read this:

Suárez was 19 years old when he went to play for Groningen. Initially he struggled because he did not know Dutch or English, and he played on the second team to adjust to the Dutch game. His teammate and fellow Uruguayan, Bruno Silva, helped him settle into living in the Netherlands and playing for a new team. He worked hard to learn Dutch and his teammates respected him for his efforts with the language.

(Liverpool Echo via Wikipedia)

He was at Groningen for the same amount of time as he's been at Liverpool to date, and played as many games for them. What made them so different that he learned the language and culture extensively (bearing in mind Dirk Kuyt gave evidence Suarez is fluent in Dutch)? Has he never seen his future in England, maybe? I'm not suggesting for a minute there's a giant cover-up and he speaks like Jan Molby, but his behaviour does seem rather inconsistent with his past actions.

I guess a few Spanish/Portugese (and one Dutch) speaking players at Liverpool, and maybe there weren't at Groningen?

You're right, google suggests Bruno Silva was the only other Spanish speaker at Groningen. On the other hand, why limit yourself to only being able to peak to 6 colleagues at your employer? He clearly has the ability to learn languages quickly, yet testified he doesn't even understand what referees say to him.

i'm guessing picking up languages gets tougher as you get older and immeasurably wealthier

and when it comes down to it, professional footballers spend remarkably little of their day actually at their club. The rest of the time you can just hang with your entourage and play FIFA

I'd've thought someone making an effort to learn the language to a rudimentary conversational level would be far more impressive to a Dutch person than an anglophone. It can't be very common. Whereas here we are criticising a guy who's been here eleven months for not understanding referees.

Also, it's far more difficult to learn the language as shouted on a football field than sitting down in nice language classes. I wouldn't be confident of picking up much during a match in France, for example, and my French is excellent.

i played minor hurling vs gaeilgeoirs once it was a considerable advantage iirc, but imo hunnert grant a week + every support from club + 150 free hours = eight months in you're writing letters to the fucking times

All PL clubs have language teachers on-site and it'll be compulsory for almost all players who aren't EU citizens to learn. Not sure whether that applies to Suarez.

My last post on pre-broke ilx was slating Gervinho for missing so many one-on-ones. Glad to see he's turned something of a corner on that front.

compulsory? xp

Yes, it's a condition of most non-EU footballers' work permits that they learn a basic level of English. They would lose the right to stay in the country if they didn't.

^ knowledge

How has Tevez gotten away with it then?

Might not apply in the same way to players who have been here for a number of years as the rules are relatively new. Could affect him if he needed to get his permit renewed, though. It's also possible that his English is better than it comes across on TV.

carlos tvteeze

He may well have Italian or Spanish nationality (as may Suarez) and therefore not need a permit - it's very common for South American players as a means of working in the EU.

dodgypassportLAD

Actually, I've just looked it up and it's more basic even than that - it's a condition of Tier 2 immigration from the Borders Agency (the criteria used by sportsmen - some can use Tier 5, which has no language requirement but is only valid for <12 months) that you get 10 points in the 'English Language' category. The way to do this is to come from a listed country whose official language is English, hold a degree in English or provide evidence you have sat the approved English language test.

Therefore either the assertion Suarez fails to understand any English is a lie, or he lied on his visa. This could get weird.

lfc obv need to get benitez back ont hte payroll as conspiracy spewing assistant, this is going to get too much for dalglish alone

xp, there seems to be a way for footballers to play here for a limited amount of time and demonstrate English proficiency when they're here. May be that they come in on a Tier 5 and apply for Tier 2 within a year. The level of English needed isn't that high so it isn't often a huge problem for someone who has been in the country nine months with one-on-one tuition.

The FA still need you to do the English exam to switch:

Tier 5 to Tier 2 switching

Players may enter under Tier 5 without the need to demonstrate the competency in English required under Tier 2. Players may then apply to switch to Tier 2 as soon as they have passed the examination in the English language at the appropriate level. For this the club will
need to obtain a new endorsement and issue a new Certificate of Sponsorship. If at the end of the maximum 12 months he cannot meet the English language requirement he will need to return home and obtain further entry clearance for another 12 month period under Tier 5.

Yes, that's right. He'll need to be able to speak basic English within the first year of his contract if he doesn't have an EU passport. That's why clubs put so much emphasis on learning.

You'd have to wonder whether the club telling the FA in an official hearing they've failed to meet that condition is a wise move then...

http://u.goal.com/160700/160737hp2.jpg

Suarez has had at least one English lesson btw - he posted a pic of him in class on Twitter. He also did an interview after the... Everton match I think it was.