Best snippet of overheard conversation

"Hey, I'm the one who's in love - I get to pee first!"

Boy 1: What's your favorite flavor?
Boy 2: Your mom.

"I brought my newspaper into work so people could smell it."

Heard at 2:00am on the Vegas Strip,woman, to her significant other:

"Pamela Anderson! Hey, babe! Look!"

(guy at vending machine) "Hmm...What should I get, Meredith? M&M's? Naw...I can't have chocolate. Oooh! Skittles! That way I can taste the rainbow, not that I haven't already. *laughs*"

Something tells me I've heard that one before

(don't tell me what he stole it from)

I actually don't know - I really just feel like I've heard it somewhere.

"oh yeah- that's leonardo da vinci. he's kinda famous..... He's from that movie, the davinci code"

Outside the Uffizi museum in Florence.

"daddy, did jesus ever come to the states?

uh, no honey.

Why, was he afraid of planes?"

In the Sistine chapel.

The other night, walking out of a bar:

Girl on phone: "-- FUCKING with your HAND?"
(mild chuckling from everyone around)
Girl on phone: "Oh my god, I just said that really loud, hahha. (pause) But I can't believe your mom SAID that!"

"daddy, did jesus ever come to the states?

uh, no honey.

Tell it to the Mormons!

so the other day I overheard two pretty youngish girls, one with a Dalton sweatshirt, at presumably pre-class outdoor cafe breakfast, and one said, I'm basically remembering right, "I guess, like, he sorta has a persona"

is it possible they were talking about this guy?! HOW DO I SHOT MY LIFESTYLE INTO A BRAND?

also, yeah, he lives in model-ville

also, it is all downhill for most of us after 13

today in HMV, a group of girls going through their xmas shopping list..

"Okay help me with this next DVD. It's something called 'Transformers' the original one, it's a cartoon. And apparently it's about a car that can transform into a robot."
"I'm in the T section, I can't find it."

"they only had to take out eight inches of her colon, which is great!"

been there, done that.

Teenage girl walking out of her house:

"If it scars, I'm getting plastic surgery, start saving up!"

"So why do you think Romania is better than Bolivia?"

Small boy, to twin, at grocery store: "YOU SON OF A BITCH!"

Mother teasing her daughter on the bus: "You got your Harry Pothead book with you?"

guy to chick on train, i think they were discussing juno: "quirky is the new precious."

my colleague discussing an author's failure to meet deadlines:

"His promises are scribbled on the wind and written on the water".

GIRL: No no no -- yeah. Yeah, no. No, no, yeah yeah yeah. Yeah, no.
GUY: Yeah.

middle-aged promoter guy in designer t-shirt: "if you put 1500 people on the guest list, nobody is going to be able to get IN."
youngish guy with boy band haircut: "but isn't that a good problem to have?"

middle aged blond mullet guy who just pissed with the door open: "My piss smelled like ether!"

same guy I don't know showed up at my house again, overheard from the next room: "It was like a fuckin' retard show. With all the retards. *shaking his head*...fuckin retard show..."

"I'm always gonna be chillin' in my environment, just keepin' it natural as I can."

Damn, that doesn't really capture the full awesomeness of this guy's speech.

"KISS were like awesome, they wouldn't leave the stage, everyone was cheering, they were like 'oh we've been asked to stop playing, but we're gonna stay and play', and then they were like 'oh here come the cops, we gotta go', it was great. You didn't see KISS did you?"

"no"

"SUCKS TO BE YOOOO"

"he looks like a cross between j mascis, as he is now, and daniel johnston ... as he is now"

a couple of years ago at a festival.

[pregnant woman on bus, to boyfriend]: "i was chainsmoking today cuz i was missin' u"

I was stood on the corner in Soho, and Tim Westwood passed by, talking on his mobile. All I heard was the phrase 'Hip Hop vs. America'

"He was a retarded chicken nugget. Who was purple."

Classic bcz the topic is obvious, totally free of context! Also a charming interpretation of the Grimace's mysterious status.

More McDonald's fun, involving an American woman at the Charing Cross location: "Raaawwb, they don't have chicken selects here!"

[If she'd've gone up to read the full menu instead of standing halfway to the door looking at the giant pictures of food she'd know the UK does in fact sell chicken selects. Best part was they'd already been to Pizza Hut and had a small boxed pizza in hand. Homesick, maybe?]

at work two people were needing to take the elevator down, and stupidly got on an elevator going up. one of them protested, but the other insisted they needed to do this, explaining they would have to take the elevator back down when it reached the top.

the other person protested that they were just going to see the same people in the elevator on the way down, but the other person insisted they needed to take the up elevator to go down.

fairly sure if this confused them, the job must have pummelled them