Just when you thought it was safe - OK CUPID PART 3: The Return of the WOO!

I just find it puzzling that you are so adamant about not wanting people who are dating other people to even look at your profile

I have no idea where you got this impression from, fwiw. And yeah, intent is the size of it I would think. The people I'm talkign about are specifically, actively polyamorous people who ususually have a primary partner they live with and/or are married to. Thats the sort of situation I am not interested in getting into. I didnt think it needed explaining, apologies if that wasnt clear.

Why am I even having to defend myself here? I just wanna go on a date with a boy, same as everyone else. :(

i don't wanna go on a date with a boy!

Heh doh. well, you know.

*links arms with Trayce and marches off to seek boys* (plural)

i want a MAN dammit xpost

tbh i *always* wonder what estela has to say

<3 ljub

LOL at this whole thing.

The poly I'm not into is the active "I am a married man looking for extra tail" kind, really. Got no prob with dating a few ppl - how else you gonna find a good one?

I'm in a (more or less) open relationship, and even *I* don't want a married man looking for extra tail.

I just wanna go on a date with a boy, same as everyone else. :(

requires sticking to a plan tbh

;_;

No, you're right, but I must point out a date is something I'd never (and have never) piked on (as opposed to going to gigs/parties etc). Thatd be rude! And yet it seems some ppl in this thread have had that happen to them :(

Is it a bad sign if a date suggests meeting at the Double Down Saloon, a bar whose sole distinction seems to be its playing of porn videos?

Haha woah.

not okc related but been hanging out loads with one person whom i feel v close to lately, and from us first meeting in feb i made a move but she had a bf at the time. over the last few months we've been spending some amazing times together and tonight we had a big chat about it as she's single now.

it was all a mix of positive and negative. "all i'd want right now is a one night stand and i'd rather we keep hanging out and see rather than that"...kinda limbo.

glad we talked it through and it was really easy but is a fucking bizarre situation, we're mega-close but she was like "i'm not there yet for a relationship", we're so close it was incredibly easy to discuss this and we were both lolling and mocking each other. annoying!

Latest OKC guy I met who we have mutual friends with looks like its fizzled before it even got anywhere - his car blew up and he has to spend so much on fixing it he's cancelled all his social plans (not just meeting me, everything he had on), and the momentum's completely gone now.

Fuck! this thing makes me feel like such a creepy fucking loser sometimes.

LG, nooo. You guys let girls get away with stuff that I would never be able to. It's time you tell this girl to put up or shut up.

Trayce, last sentence, sadly OTM.

incoming message: you're good at massages, huh?

outgoing message: yup.

Wait, VP, where do you live?

Now that I disabled my OKC account I don't even know what to do with myself! It was something I was so frustrated with for years that I got so used to it. HA.

I revised mine to be a little more up-front about being interested in going out sometime. Time will tell....

The frustrating thing for me is I have at least 3 or 4 nice, awesome single male friends I would dearly love to ask out, stuff using OKC. But I havent got the guts. This shit used to be so easy for me but I have no mojo or confidence anymore :(

mh, NYC. You?

I think I'm going to put all my energy into seducing my 23 y.o. coworker. Will report back.

OKC gal who says she is listening to 50 Years of African Music comp and lived in Kenya won't respond to me, freelance writer about African music. Ugh. Need to concentrate on going from "average" to "athletic" maybe and then add new photos I guess (and I'm not obese now).

virginia plain, i think that sounds like an admirable pursuit!

I actually prefer "average" to "athletic".

Just got this gem:

"Hi, I'm a married dominant man, looking for a sweet passionate woman. Would you like to get to know one another?"

Why, yes, please!

x-post: Thanks, b_g. This is why I love ilx, telling me what I want to hear since '02.

Eh, I was just curious because there are a number of bars called the Double Down and I thought you were in NYC, but wasn't sure.

R___ R______ is back and still wants to meet in Columbus Circle. I guess I'll ask what the draw is.

milwaukee brewers manager ron roenicke?

Ronald Reagan?

rick ross!

Hahahahaha oh goody.

Who knew Virginia Plain was a rapper

I asked what was in Columbus circle and he asked me if I'd ever been to Columbus circle. I don't think it's going to work out.

hahaha.

i miss thespark.com

Awwwww The Spark! I had a crush on one of the writers/employees a long, long time ago. Iirc I used to trawl through office photos and jokey posts to see if he was in them.

What happened to that thing, anyway? How come it's all study guides now? Wasn't it like a proto-The Onion or something??

yes! i was starting to think i was crazy b/c no one i talk to these days has heard of it!

i think the 'date my sister' experiment was a prototype for okc, in addition to all the quizzes/personality tests they had going

Yeessssss Date My Sister, I forgot about that!!!! The first time I joined Spring Street Networks, it was through thespark.com.

I remembered thespark b/c the last few dates have asked me how I came to OKC. Now i'm trawling the internet wayback machine & going through all their crazy experiments again. the sister one is pretty hilarious.

There is no shortage of suitors for Melissa. Since the announcement of the project, I've gotten about a thousand emails from guys looking to help Melissa find a man. For example:

hey i saw your pic u r beautiful. i would like to get to know you. if u want to chat i have icq and myscreen name is giantballs4u.

m_

I asked her, and Melissa said she prefers guys without elephantitis of the nuts, so her dates are all going to be with friends of mine.

the medium may have changed, but the message has stayed the same.

LG, nooo. You guys let girls get away with stuff that I would never be able to

i know what you're saying completely, and there are times in the past where i've been in this situation, except it's a bit diff this time cos i dunno, i haven't met someone i feel this close to for a long time. i think maybe she's not interested romantically, which isn't good, but it would seem weird to not be friends because it's still quite a rare thing.

i know everyone is going to say what you said though, and probably for my own sake it might be better not to hang out, except i dunno, we went out last night for 4/5 hours and spent about £100 on cocktails till 1am, on a tuesday, and only talked about the relationship bit at the end, i can't really accept this isn't something good and unusual.

except i also can't quite fully accept she isn't interested romantically...it's just too weird given how we interact.

My advice isn't to stay away, at all. I think super-close male-female relationships are a good thing . . . and a close relationship of any kind isn't something to throw away. I just think that eventually, she's going to have to realize what she wants . . . does she want a friend . . . does she want a boyfriend . . . and eventually, you might not want to make things *so* easy for her. . . .

So, I set up this date last week with this guy who has been wishy-washy since September. We got as far as arranging to meet on Wednesday night and then it was his turn to e-mail. He never did, which is fine, but then at 6 a.m. this morning he looked at my profile, just to double-check and make sure that he doesn't want to meet me after all.

Ahhh I got my first notification from someone poly today. Feels like I've arrived.

I was surprised to discover recently that Columbus Circle has nice benches.

I just think that eventually, she's going to have to realize what she wants . . . does she want a friend . . . does she want a boyfriend . . . and eventually, you might not want to make things *so* easy for her. . . .

totally...she acted like she was surprised last night when i brought it up whereas i was sure she knew 100 per cent. so it's sort of a bit like a new era from now but yeah, bringing it up again was one step, actually fighting for it a bit is another i agree.

anyway back to okc.

except i also can't quite fully accept she isn't interested romantically...it's just too weird given how we interact.

Been there twice recently and sadly it's perfectly possible to have an amazing close friendship with someone of the opposite sex, have it turn into a relationship, and then learn that you always felt 10000 more strongly than they did. Very much agree with VP that being a little bit unavailable (without game-playing) helps ward this off. I am no good at this. Even when I think I am being good at it, I'm not.

I forgot that OKC used to be TheSpark. Thats how I ended up there! I was just doing Spark quizzes and then it turned into a dating site while I wasnt looking.

i totally forgot ^this too!! And the reason i joined okcupid so many years ago was because of ilx + thespark! and then quickly de-joined it bc was seeing someone.
and here we are again...
i remember being v sad about the demise of the spark