Just when you thought it was safe - OK CUPID PART 3: The Return of the WOO!

Because they're smart and sexy?

if they were really smart they'd live within a 10-mile radius of me, just sayin'

Trayce, are you thinking of actually dating this guy, or becoming friends and then maybe something more? Not sure about adding someone on facebook if it's a tenuous-dating relationship

I'm not sure I get what you're asking, do you mean adding to FB is a "too soon" thing if you do want to date a person? I dont see it that way but everyones MMV of course. And having done so and found out me and this guy have a swatch of mutual friends has just broken the ice, although perhaps maybe too much so, it might just turn into a "hey lets all go for beers!" and as usual I'll be seen as the cool older friend no one actually wants to go OUT with, blargh. I'm not invested in this either way so its ok.

Hey Trayce, don't you already have a boyfriend? What happened there?

There is a guy I see a bit of, but its complicated - he has no intention of staying in Melbourne (or even Aus) long term, and we constantly butt heads taste and interests-wise, so a while back he bascially told me I shouldnt let seeing him get in the way of me still being up for finding someone else to date.

HOw that'll pan out in practice remains to be seen mind you, ha.

I'm curious then. How come poly etc is a big no go zone for you then? Aren't you essentially in the same situation?

a) that hardly = poly
b) who are you?

She's in multiple-dating, not poly? Poly reads to me as "multiple partners/partner-type people" or having one solid partner and possibly other lesser relationships. I dunno, something that actually includes one solid partner where she's currently at one shaky one?

x-post also what mookie said

e-a is a mongrel who floats around here a bit

Yeah what the guys said. Poly is actively going out with more than one person. This guy wont (and cant) "commit" to me, but as we've had nothing else going on recently we've spent time together anyway bcz hey why not.

The poly I'm not into is the active "I am a married man looking for extra tail" kind, really. Got no prob with dating a few ppl - how else you gonna find a good one?

Put it this way: if something proper worked out with someone else, I'd stop seeing Veganboy. He wouldnt mind.

Got no prob with dating a few ppl - how else you gonna find a good one?

I wonder if mookieproof wonders what estela has to say

OK lol.

There is no problem with dating more than one person. I just find it puzzling that you are so adamant about not wanting people who are dating other people to even look at your profile when you yourself are dating someone.

E-A, I think it's about intent. Multi-dating can still involve intent to stick with one person eventually. Poly, to me, means intent to always have a number of people on the go. I think it's ok to say clearly that you're not interested in those who want the latter, and not want to get messages from them.

I just find it puzzling that you are so adamant about not wanting people who are dating other people to even look at your profile

I have no idea where you got this impression from, fwiw. And yeah, intent is the size of it I would think. The people I'm talkign about are specifically, actively polyamorous people who ususually have a primary partner they live with and/or are married to. Thats the sort of situation I am not interested in getting into. I didnt think it needed explaining, apologies if that wasnt clear.

Why am I even having to defend myself here? I just wanna go on a date with a boy, same as everyone else. :(

i don't wanna go on a date with a boy!

Heh doh. well, you know.

*links arms with Trayce and marches off to seek boys* (plural)

i want a MAN dammit xpost

tbh i *always* wonder what estela has to say

<3 ljub

LOL at this whole thing.

The poly I'm not into is the active "I am a married man looking for extra tail" kind, really. Got no prob with dating a few ppl - how else you gonna find a good one?

I'm in a (more or less) open relationship, and even *I* don't want a married man looking for extra tail.

I just wanna go on a date with a boy, same as everyone else. :(

requires sticking to a plan tbh

;_;

No, you're right, but I must point out a date is something I'd never (and have never) piked on (as opposed to going to gigs/parties etc). Thatd be rude! And yet it seems some ppl in this thread have had that happen to them :(

Is it a bad sign if a date suggests meeting at the Double Down Saloon, a bar whose sole distinction seems to be its playing of porn videos?

Haha woah.

not okc related but been hanging out loads with one person whom i feel v close to lately, and from us first meeting in feb i made a move but she had a bf at the time. over the last few months we've been spending some amazing times together and tonight we had a big chat about it as she's single now.

it was all a mix of positive and negative. "all i'd want right now is a one night stand and i'd rather we keep hanging out and see rather than that"...kinda limbo.

glad we talked it through and it was really easy but is a fucking bizarre situation, we're mega-close but she was like "i'm not there yet for a relationship", we're so close it was incredibly easy to discuss this and we were both lolling and mocking each other. annoying!

Latest OKC guy I met who we have mutual friends with looks like its fizzled before it even got anywhere - his car blew up and he has to spend so much on fixing it he's cancelled all his social plans (not just meeting me, everything he had on), and the momentum's completely gone now.

Fuck! this thing makes me feel like such a creepy fucking loser sometimes.

LG, nooo. You guys let girls get away with stuff that I would never be able to. It's time you tell this girl to put up or shut up.

Trayce, last sentence, sadly OTM.

incoming message: you're good at massages, huh?

outgoing message: yup.

Wait, VP, where do you live?

Now that I disabled my OKC account I don't even know what to do with myself! It was something I was so frustrated with for years that I got so used to it. HA.

I revised mine to be a little more up-front about being interested in going out sometime. Time will tell....

The frustrating thing for me is I have at least 3 or 4 nice, awesome single male friends I would dearly love to ask out, stuff using OKC. But I havent got the guts. This shit used to be so easy for me but I have no mojo or confidence anymore :(

mh, NYC. You?

I think I'm going to put all my energy into seducing my 23 y.o. coworker. Will report back.

OKC gal who says she is listening to 50 Years of African Music comp and lived in Kenya won't respond to me, freelance writer about African music. Ugh. Need to concentrate on going from "average" to "athletic" maybe and then add new photos I guess (and I'm not obese now).

virginia plain, i think that sounds like an admirable pursuit!

I actually prefer "average" to "athletic".

Just got this gem:

"Hi, I'm a married dominant man, looking for a sweet passionate woman. Would you like to get to know one another?"

Why, yes, please!

x-post: Thanks, b_g. This is why I love ilx, telling me what I want to hear since '02.

Eh, I was just curious because there are a number of bars called the Double Down and I thought you were in NYC, but wasn't sure.

R___ R______ is back and still wants to meet in Columbus Circle. I guess I'll ask what the draw is.

milwaukee brewers manager ron roenicke?

Ronald Reagan?

rick ross!

Hahahahaha oh goody.

Who knew Virginia Plain was a rapper