'The Day Today' -- "HELLO, YOU!"

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I've said it before and I'll say it again: America needs Chris Morris more than the UK does. Even if we do have Jon Stewart.

― Michael Daddino (epicharmus), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 10:58 (twenty-one years ago)

I occasionally still use the proof line. And I end most conversations with "And that's all the news".

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 11:00 (twenty-one years ago)

"...god i wish it weren't"

― jed_ (jed), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 11:02 (twenty-one years ago)

THE FINANCE ARSE

― Mikey G (Mikey G), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 11:04 (twenty-one years ago)

Yeah, I think the proof line has penetrated a certain demographic's everyday chatter to an alarming (but always gently amusing) way. With Pam it's "in summary...breezes." She has a love/hate thing with the vagueness of UK weather forecasts and this just seems to encapsulate it all.

― Michael Jones (MichaelJ), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 11:05 (twenty-one years ago)

i often annoyingly end phone conversations with "...and on that bombshell"

― jed_ (jed), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 11:06 (twenty-one years ago)

The weatherman graphics are impressive in the way that you find yourself thinking "that's actually not a bad way of displaying it". Also it can't have been cheap.

I still think of 'Brent - Physical Cartoonist" everytime I see something by Mark Fiore, Flash Satirist.

The Bomb Dogs section is maybe my favourite, particularly the interview with the IRA spokesman (BASTARDS?) on helium.

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 11:10 (twenty-one years ago)

"Their leader is a grease monkey from Acton"

― Dadaismus (Dada), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 11:15 (twenty-one years ago)

"So what's the German for 30 percent?"

"Trenter percenter."

― Jonnie, Tuesday, 15 June 2004 11:20 (twenty-one years ago)

"And we've just heard that the defence secretary Micheal Portillo carries a saw off shotgun to constituency meetings, corners children in parks and chews their cheeks and has frequent sexual intercourse with stray animals claiming "As long as it has a backbone, I'll do it!".

― jed_ (jed), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 11:22 (twenty-one years ago)

"The Day Today - bagpiping news into fact"

― Dadaismus (Dada), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 11:23 (twenty-one years ago)

"Thanks, Colin. He's not gay, by the way - we wouldn't employ a homosexual. "

― jed_ (jed), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 11:24 (twenty-one years ago)

nono, "We'd like to apologise for our report on Friday that defense secretary..."

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 11:24 (twenty-one years ago)

even better!

We'd like to apologise for our report on Friday that defense secretary Micheal Portillo carries a saw off shotgun to constituency meetings, corners children in parks and chews their cheeks and has frequent sexual intercourse with stray animals claiming "As long as it has a backbone, I'll do it!".

― jed_ (jed), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 11:26 (twenty-one years ago)

The apology comes at the end, Andrew/Jed, after the barrage of slander is still percolating in yr brane.

― Michael Jones (MichaelJ), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 11:28 (twenty-one years ago)

Bah, you're right of course. "On Friday, we reported that..."

"Heseltine greet the children that he will later release into the wild and hunt"

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 11:41 (twenty-one years ago)

I like the way the intro music is just that little bit too long.

and

"You can wear them in the high street, body contours, very discreet"

― Mikey G (Mikey G), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 11:45 (twenty-one years ago)

Fur-Q - the original Eamon!

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 11:50 (twenty-one years ago)

But Fur-Q's black is he not?

― Dadaismus (Dada), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 11:51 (twenty-one years ago)

fUR-q DID ANTICIPATE THE pHIL cOLLIINS TRIBUTE lp N-EST-CE PAS?

'UZI LOVER'

― Enrique (Enrique), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 11:53 (twenty-one years ago)

Are you saying a brother can't be Eamon?

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 11:53 (twenty-one years ago)

Only with the application of make-up sticks

― Dadaismus (Dada), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 11:54 (twenty-one years ago)

"J in red and blue."

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 11:57 (twenty-one years ago)

in red on blue - and that's the letter of the law is it?

― jed_ (jed), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 11:59 (twenty-one years ago)

http://uk.imdb.com/top_250_films

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 12:01 (twenty-one years ago)

bah, ignore that.

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 12:02 (twenty-one years ago)

"This is a high class Bureau de Change, not some Punch and Judy Show on Margate Pier"

― Dadaismus (Dada), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 12:05 (twenty-one years ago)

"He must have a rocket engine in that foot!"

The car discussion!

― Crickets Dance On Tequila Booty (Barima), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 12:07 (twenty-one years ago)

"They look like cattle... in a mad way... but cattle on bikes"

― Dadaismus (Dada), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 12:10 (twenty-one years ago)

Stop getting TDT wrong! "He must have a foot like a traction engine."

Kids today, sassenfrassen...

― Michael Jones (MichaelJ), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 12:13 (twenty-one years ago)

"Strathcarnage versus Taste of Dunfermline CANNOT BE STOPPED"

― Dadaismus (Dada), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 12:14 (twenty-one years ago)

Bitch wanna try it, I said keep her quiet, shove it up her muthafucking ass and fry it

The black neighbours sketch is hilarious

― Mikey G (Mikey G), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 12:16 (twenty-one years ago)

"Crazed wolves in store a bad mistake admit Mothercare"

― de, Tuesday, 15 June 2004 12:16 (twenty-one years ago)

What would you do if I introduced a pig into this office?

(Pre-dated Gervais by years)

― Anna (Anna), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 12:17 (twenty-one years ago)

Slamming the wasps from the pure apple of truth.

― Pete (Pete), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 12:21 (twenty-one years ago)

Actually, I might switch my 'vote' to Attitudes Night. Last televised hanging - "The initial euphoria has passed .. not an experience I'll be trying again." - "He's saying he wants you to give him a thick ear!" - kiddy pool - "Ta-ra yeh shitter!"

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 12:22 (twenty-one years ago)

must....buy...dvd...already...

― stevem (blueski), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 12:24 (twenty-one years ago)

teenage boy roasts himself in homage to chris kelly...

― jed_ (jed), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 12:26 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm surprised at how easily 'll quote scriptur and verse, when an equivalent run on Monty Python/Father Ted/The Simpsons would have me curling my toes from about five posts in. I think it's because this is a thread explicitly about quotes, and also for some reason it hasn't become a cultural reference point on the scale of the other three.

Also I'm assuming this thread will be politely deleted after we're done.

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 12:27 (twenty-one years ago)

what about jam!??!!?

and i think collaterlie sisters is so hot!

― cutty (mcutt), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 12:27 (twenty-one years ago)

what am i, fuckin noddy?!

― Enrique (Enrique), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 12:28 (twenty-one years ago)

Soemthing that I suspect may have been mentioned before: It's not a very "Alan Partridge" Alan Partridge, is it? He's not pathetic as much as just a fool. Was the "Knowing Me Knowing You" AP also like this?

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 12:30 (twenty-one years ago)

exactly. i think jam is more twisted and subversive then the day today or brass eye.

but i love being able to watch steve coogan AND chris morris at the same time.

― cutty (mcutt), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 12:30 (twenty-one years ago)

xpost to enrique

― cutty (mcutt), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 12:31 (twenty-one years ago)

It may be more twisted and subversive but it isn't anywhere near as funny

― Dadaismus (Dada), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 12:32 (twenty-one years ago)

jam is whack next to blue jam; if it's more experimental, it's less funny/cutting. obv it's grate, but not *as* great.

All three AP series have showcased different Alans, and the radio shows were also different -- nothing wrong with that.

― ENRQ (Enrique), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 12:33 (twenty-one years ago)

To Jockey, "Shouldn't you be at school then?"

"No, I'm 34."

― Mikey G (Mikey G), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 12:33 (twenty-one years ago)

The Day Today: News Felch.

― jed_ (jed), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 12:33 (twenty-one years ago)

Yes, it's in a different business, it's looking to be Art rather than have people creased over in front of the telly.

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 12:34 (twenty-one years ago)

chris morris is working on something new isn't he?

― cutty (mcutt), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 12:35 (twenty-one years ago)

Skipping 42 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

Believe I've been there before, I scarfed all the On the Hour episodes from there. And very happy I was to have done that.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Sunday, 14 August 2005 20:54 (twenty years ago)

three years pass...

warp to release four-disc on the hour box in two weeks

― cam'ron wite (haitch), Monday, 10 November 2008 04:13 (seventeen years ago)

they've been on radio7 several times in the past couple of years but they always miss a couple of episodes out of each run (and i don't think they've ever repeated the christmas special) so this will be useful.

― koogs, Monday, 10 November 2008 10:51 (seventeen years ago)

seventeen-disc blue jam box probably a pipe dream

― restraint and blindness (Just got offed), Monday, 10 November 2008 12:23 (seventeen years ago)

two weeks pass...

http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51NCa3CTxmL._SS500_.jpg

― koogs, Friday, 28 November 2008 10:13 (seventeen years ago)

two years pass...

Finally discovered this - the brilliance/episode is truly staggering. Immediately ordered Brass Eye as well.

― StanM, Wednesday, 8 December 2010 21:38 (fifteen years ago)

Wise man.

― Ned Raggett, Wednesday, 8 December 2010 21:51 (fifteen years ago)

two years pass...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1SPWgodul_E

i have never heard/seen this before - anyone know when this was done/where it was broadcast?

― There shouldn't be a thread for Dennis Perrin tweets. (stevie), Sunday, 21 July 2013 12:44 (twelve years ago)

It was a DVD easter egg. I guess they recorded it specifically for the DVD release. 26 April 2004 is the release date according to amazon.

― cajunsunday, Sunday, 21 July 2013 13:12 (twelve years ago)

thanks!

― There shouldn't be a thread for Dennis Perrin tweets. (stevie), Sunday, 21 July 2013 23:08 (twelve years ago)

"Peter, you've added nothing."

I seem to remember something Chris Morris wrote that was published in the UK quite soon after 9/11 - in The Independent or The Observer, possibly a pull-out section that was quite shocking in a kind of "too soon man" way. I'd love to see that again.

― kraudive, Monday, 22 July 2013 00:00 (twelve years ago)

amazingly all of it is here, as PDFs, in the Observer archive
http://observer.guardian.co.uk/review/page/0,,671683,00.html

― piscesx, Monday, 22 July 2013 00:18 (twelve years ago)

ooh the Geefe columns are there too! Nice work piscesx!

― Neil S, Monday, 22 July 2013 14:34 (twelve years ago)

five years pass...

RIO'S ON THE MONKEY DUST

― puppy bash (darraghmac), Wednesday, 5 December 2018 22:24 (seven years ago)

two months pass...

You're old, we're old.

The Day Today, 25th anniversary dinner. We’ve lost the news.@RebeccaFront @Aiannucci @Pmarber @PeterBaynham pic.twitter.com/9esJ9uPDzL
— David Schneider (@davidschneider) February 12, 2019

― Ned Raggett, Wednesday, 13 February 2019 17:42 (seven years ago)

Is that peter baynham in the middle?! Christ the Hollywood life’s taken a toll if so, he looks like ET brundlefly’d with present-day devito

― gray say nah to me (wins), Wednesday, 13 February 2019 17:45 (seven years ago)

it's him, camera phones are never flattering tbf

― kinder, Wednesday, 13 February 2019 17:46 (seven years ago)

That’s true, and it’s an endearingly dorky photo in general

― gray say nah to me (wins), Wednesday, 13 February 2019 17:50 (seven years ago)

― imago, Wednesday, 13 February 2019 17:56 (seven years ago)

Something poetic about Chris Morris slowly morphing into Victor Lewis Smith

― whoa is me (stevie), Wednesday, 13 February 2019 19:48 (seven years ago)

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