Just when you thought it was safe - OK CUPID PART 3: The Return of the WOO!

When people don't write me back, I assume they don't like the way I look, or they don't like the way I present myself, or some combination of the two. However, it could be a number of things, such as they are sort of seeing someone and don't have the need to meet a new person, they have a life and aren't obsessively checking in with okc every second, etc. Their should be a drop down menu for for when you don't write. It would send the following message: User has no with to interact with you bc you are too old, too young, too pretentious, not pretentious enough, too cute, not cute enough, etc.

omg. That would be horrible! I would definitely not want to know those things.

http://a8.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc6/44324_140801409294648_135333006508155_193916_4970622_n.jpg

bit big

Anyway, I'm trying to think of what to put in a message I'm going to send to this girl on OKC. She doesn't give much away in her profile though, except for a long list of book/film/music likes. Should I comment on her profile pics, or go down the "hey you like that book? So do I, isn't that amazing!" route?

What about "what do you like about X? i really love the xyz about it."

I hate it when people say anything about my physical appearance.

Just comment on somehing in her profile and say hello.

Also true irl.

i've gotten msgs that just say "you're cute :)" before and i pretty much never respond to them

DavidM, you could go off of what she has listed and maybe recommend something she might like, or ask her if she has any recommendations for you since you have similar tastes?

Yeah, no I wasn't going to comment on her appearance. Not as such, anyway. She's wearing a distinctive t-shirt in one and I thought I'd mention that, but I think I'll steer clear for now. We have similar tastes in everything except music - almost all the bands she listed I don't really know too much about, so that could be my in.

Opening gambits are difficult though. Once I get the ball rolling I'll be okay, I think.

This is super nitpickey, but I also hate it when people recommend things to me on the first message. It seems very male and paternal, somehow. I think it's better if you could frame it like, "I don't know if you're familiar with x, but..." I think the content of the message itself isn't so important, just show that you've read her profile and engaged with it in some way.
Oh, comments about pics are ok if you comment about something that's happening in the background. One person wrote me (among other things): "You have a nice face!" I thought that was kind of okay. I wrote him back and told him he had a nice smile and never heard from him again.

Mentioning distinctive t-shirts are fine, as long as the distinction isn't in its form-fittingness:)

I'm relieved it's okay to tell someone you think they have a nice face

ha.

I have merged my previously separate profiles (one looking for men, the other looking for women) because it was too much work to upkeep 2 profiles, esp answering all the questions over again, and also not very honest. anyway, this has made the past two days of OK cupid a much more positive experience!

^^surprise twist!

Someone rated me 5 stars and I rated then 4 stars, and I got the same message I get when it's a mutual 5-star rating. So now I know how that works.

I broke my own rule. I just wrote someone and said I found their premature grey hair very distinguished . I am an okc creep.

i read a profile yesterday that plagarized david foster wallace. i thought about messaging him and asking if that was the inspiration, but then decided there was no real way to write it & not sound like a jerk!

oh and yeah. i thought about mentioning my other profile here before, but it was very underdeveloped!

How is it possible that every male whose profile I click on is "more sex driven" than other straight men of his age? Wouldn't it be statistically impossible?

nothing is statistically impossible on OK cupid. OK Cupid is a doorway to POSSIBILITY.

Lol. Okc street-team speak.

http://27.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_luazl1A3UJ1qhlsrfo1_500.jpg

"Your eyes reflect the palette on which you paint the world... cool eyes that gives off intensity and passion...even from Queens!"

A message I got today concluded with "'no worries if I dont hear back from you. I'm sure it's just because the 1nternet is br0ken" haha (added the #s because you can never be too safe)

Someone wrote me once and said something like "I see you have 'replies selectively' as your status. If I don't hear back from you I will assume it's only because you are attempting to protect that hard-won crown."

I just got the most o_0 message ever:

"I foolishly read your profile from the bottom up and started to think, yeah she sounds ok. Sadly, I think it's best if I just wish you well in your search. Good luck!"

WHY BOTHER TELLING ME THIS, THANKS A LOT ASSWIPE.

lol, well it's a free boost to your selectivity at least

Hah true, though I was tempted to reply rudely but I wont

there is no fitting response to that

ew. jerk.

what a bogan

(can i do that? i have never used that word before)

I think it is brogan?

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=bogan

in my defense, it is Sunday morning at 8:20 and I have not yet had coffee :(

no criticism intended, purely on a mission to inform :)

Men who post only in beanie hats, please note this is much more annoying to me than not having a full body shot.

Ha, 'post' - you know what I mean

A message I got today concluded with "'no worries if I dont hear back from you. I'm sure it's just because the 1nternet is br0ken"

I got this one, too.

Resisting messaging people just to say, "I am writing to you why bcause you look intresting."

^^When I first joined, I sent a couple of those..."you seem like an interesting person..."

Just got this: "Your 'message me if' section is wonderful. I like people who appreciate cirrhotic worldviews." Nobody understands my use of the word "jaundiced"! Even when I added explanatory notes.

I got this one, too.

― It means why you gotta be a montague? (Laurel)

from the dude who says he's part of the 99% & is working to move into the 1%?

I don't know but I just assumed he was a dick and deleted it.

Also, the guy whose profile pic is his silhouette at a DRIVING RANGE, and the msg, while long and polite and well enough written, is completely generic and clearly not composed just for me: Delete. Mostly because of the golf thing tbh.

just think of golf as part of your scottish heritage

Only if it's played on a rocky cliff by people in plus-fours. Otherwise how about I just think of it as lame?

Should I message someone just because they say that their musical tastes are stuck in the 90s and they like shibuya-kei? Grasping at straws here. How badly do I want to have a conversation about Hideki Kaji? I think I'll wait.

Envious of range, depth, breadth of NYC OKC-ers tbf. (Don't be annoyed, Lee! I do try to meet people irl in DC but probably don't try hard enough)

yeah i had an exploratory look at this and i don't think i'm gonna bother

Last night ilxor yerac tried extra hard to convince all of us that the hot, rich men who are ready to settle down and get married are all on match.com.

I'm pretty sure that hot, rich men who want to get married just have to LEAVE THE HOUSE to meet someone, I don't understand why they'd be on a dating site.