I've been on a Star Wars Ripoffs kick lately, with "Battle Beyond the Stars" and now watching "Starcrash". I'm starting to enjoy them more than the genuine article. There are lots of gratuitous special effects, silly plot points, hotter babes, and usually some gorgeous pulp-style paintings used for planets. Plus since the plots and acting are so cheesy, you can just kind of run them in the background while you're doing other things.
In "Starcrash" there is a great scene where the Emperor very smugly commands his spaceship "Computer, STOP THE FLOW OF TIME!" so they can escape a nuclear holocaust. This comes right after David Hasslehof has a light saber duel with two Harryhausen-style robots. The Luke Skywalker guy has a huge fro and rainbow-colored Force powers. The main damsel goes through the film in a space bikini and thigh high boots, and she has some awesome hot mess eyes. The main villain looks like a Liberace version of an Italian crime boss and has the greatest evil laugh ever. Some of the effects sequences resemble 60's psychedelic light shows more than anything. Lots of great, quotable batshit lines throughout.
I think the greatest gift "Star Wars" inadvertently gave was the contemporary ripoffs. Does anyone have any favorites?
― Emperor Cos Dashit (Adam Bruneau), Wednesday, 9 November 2011 19:54 (twelve years ago) link
Holy crap the bad spaceship is a giant hand that turns into a fist!
― Emperor Cos Dashit (Adam Bruneau), Wednesday, 9 November 2011 20:00 (twelve years ago) link
Battle Beyond the Stars is hilarious
giant boob ship!
― The Uncanny Frankie Valley (Shakey Mo Collier), Wednesday, 9 November 2011 20:02 (twelve years ago) link
In "Star Crash" they fire torpedoes that have soldiers in them! They fly in through the window and the guys pop out and star shooting. LOL
― Emperor Cos Dashit (Adam Bruneau), Wednesday, 9 November 2011 20:03 (twelve years ago) link
I love Star Crash.
― polyphonic, Wednesday, 9 November 2011 20:04 (twelve years ago) link
One thing I see is that lots of these films are using scenes that actually ended up in the "Star Wars" sequels, which were made after these. For instance, "Star Crash" has the ice planet (Hoth) and the girl gets kidnapped by the savages being saved by a golden god (Ewoks).
― Emperor Cos Dashit (Adam Bruneau), Wednesday, 9 November 2011 20:07 (twelve years ago) link
last night i had a dream that george lucas was shooting at me with a laser (it was some sort of new addition to one of the movies) while i yelled "OCCUPY HOTH" at him
― the jazz zinger (s1ocki), Wednesday, 9 November 2011 23:20 (twelve years ago) link
omg
― BIG HOOS aka the steendriver, Wednesday, 9 November 2011 23:23 (twelve years ago) link
where might you find Star Crash or Battle Beyond the Stars? Netflix doesn't seem to have either...
― WARS OF ARMAGEDDON (Karaoke Version) (Sparkle Motion), Wednesday, 9 November 2011 23:24 (twelve years ago) link
Amazon has 'em.
Torrents.
― polyphonic, Wednesday, 9 November 2011 23:25 (twelve years ago) link
another noted ripoff is Kinji Fukasaku's "Message From Space"
― steampunk magnum p.i. (los blue jeans), Thursday, 10 November 2011 00:43 (twelve years ago) link
http://lotuswatcher.files.wordpress.com/2010/10/battlebeyond1.jpg
― The Uncanny Frankie Valley (Shakey Mo Collier), Thursday, 10 November 2011 00:46 (twelve years ago) link
http://brianorndorf.typepad.com/.a/6a00e54ee7b642883301538f4d5727970b-500wi
^^^George Peppard
Message from Space looks great. Vic Morrow!
― polyphonic, Thursday, 10 November 2011 00:47 (twelve years ago) link
Is that a ship, an alien's head, or a scrotum?
― Not only dermatologists hate her (James Morrison), Thursday, 10 November 2011 01:37 (twelve years ago) link
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ukaEGDNeDQk
― Ask The Answer Man (sexyDancer), Thursday, 10 November 2011 01:46 (twelve years ago) link
That is a ship, and I'm pretty sure they've come out and said they were boobs. The ship has nothing on Syb Danning tho.
http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_iBuNz7Kv1jk/TIUubJ-kuUI/AAAAAAAAA2o/6vmCX5EtfgE/s1600/Battle+Beyond+the+Stars.jpg
― Emperor Cos Dashit (Adam Bruneau), Thursday, 10 November 2011 01:56 (twelve years ago) link
looks more like a nutsack with ovaries
― the wheelie king (wk), Thursday, 10 November 2011 02:01 (twelve years ago) link
looks like Hammerhead!
― piscesx, Thursday, 10 November 2011 07:14 (twelve years ago) link
Here are some still from Star Crash, emphasis on the crazy lofi effects. When they go into hyperspace, it does some extremely gritty video feedback stuff that looks very chillwave.
http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6100/6331551111_0987588881.jpghttp://farm7.static.flickr.com/6120/6331551189_b1bee7a882.jpghttp://farm7.static.flickr.com/6221/6331551585_0259c24db9.jpghttp://farm7.static.flickr.com/6110/6332303534_37a471744b.jpghttp://farm7.static.flickr.com/6054/6332304152_67d5004933.jpghttp://farm7.static.flickr.com/6101/6332304692_71fa3c6afc.jpghttp://farm7.static.flickr.com/6047/6332304946_1f96d32f9a.jpghttp://farm7.static.flickr.com/6035/6332308160_7a5f3df52a.jpghttp://farm7.static.flickr.com/6093/6332308304_49cdc3595b.jpghttp://farm7.static.flickr.com/6096/6332311578_188b95052d.jpg
― Emperor Cos Dashit (Adam Bruneau), Thursday, 10 November 2011 18:18 (twelve years ago) link
hmm that looks kind of awesome!
― The Uncanny Frankie Valley (Shakey Mo Collier), Thursday, 10 November 2011 18:26 (twelve years ago) link
Note to self: Watch Starcrash this weekend.
― i couldn't adjust the food knobs (Phil D.), Thursday, 10 November 2011 18:30 (twelve years ago) link
srs
― BIG HOOS aka the steendriver, Thursday, 10 November 2011 18:37 (twelve years ago) link
David Hasselhoff is in Star Crash, fwiw
― polyphonic, Thursday, 10 November 2011 18:42 (twelve years ago) link
http://a.abcnews.go.com/images/Entertainment/ht_darth_vader_burger_nt_120106_wblog.jpg
― insert 2012 appropriate display name here (snoball), Saturday, 7 January 2012 18:32 (twelve years ago) link
jedi burger is totally scarier
― thomp, Saturday, 7 January 2012 18:33 (twelve years ago) link
giant jedi mouth w/mayo teeth & cheesy tongue
For the Jedi it is time to eat as well. Eat, eat. Hot. Good food, hm? Good, hmm?
― insert 2012 appropriate display name here (snoball), Saturday, 7 January 2012 18:37 (twelve years ago) link
Also you will find a new definition of pain and suffering as the burger is slowly digested in your stomach over a thousand years.
― insert 2012 appropriate display name here (snoball), Saturday, 7 January 2012 18:38 (twelve years ago) link
what are those chunks on the top of the jedi burger?
― Moodles, Saturday, 7 January 2012 18:58 (twelve years ago) link
Garlic or brie maybe?
― insert 2012 appropriate display name here (snoball), Saturday, 7 January 2012 19:02 (twelve years ago) link
either sounds disgusting
― Moodles, Saturday, 7 January 2012 20:37 (twelve years ago) link
Some websites claim marshmallows. I'm going to go for brie.
― insert 2012 appropriate display name here (snoball), Saturday, 7 January 2012 20:43 (twelve years ago) link
Are those burgers in 3D?
― Josh in Chicago, Saturday, 7 January 2012 20:47 (twelve years ago) link
― insert 2012 appropriate display name here (snoball), Saturday, January 7, 2012 6:38 PM (2 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink
Good joke, needs to be acknowledged.
― Inevitable stupid samba mix (chap), Saturday, 7 January 2012 20:52 (twelve years ago) link
May the farts be with you.
― Emperor Cos Dashit (Adam Bruneau), Saturday, 7 January 2012 22:35 (twelve years ago) link
― Josh in Chicago, Saturday, January 7, 2012 3:47 PM (2 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink
"No, but your face is!"
http://28.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lfhtf9YYJH1qgsff2o1_500.gif
― i couldn't adjust the food knobs (Phil D.), Saturday, 7 January 2012 23:24 (twelve years ago) link
No but 'Star Wars Episode 1: The Phantom Menace How To Make A Crap Film Crapper' is.
― insert 2012 appropriate display name here (snoball), Saturday, 7 January 2012 23:42 (twelve years ago) link
DARK VADOR
― BIG HOOS aka the steendriver, Sunday, 8 January 2012 05:35 (twelve years ago) link
how do you make a black bun like that?? what's in it?
― piscesx, Sunday, 8 January 2012 08:49 (twelve years ago) link
looks like a couple of patties, some salad and cheese
― Poppy Newgod and the Phantom Banned (Noodle Vague), Sunday, 8 January 2012 09:16 (twelve years ago) link
Midichlorians. Evil ones.
― the box cutter killer from the calcutta gutter (GOTT PUNCH II HAWKWINDZ), Sunday, 8 January 2012 09:49 (twelve years ago) link
Lucas actually comes across ok in this article from the BBC about his new film Red Tails... right up until the very last line.
― Volvo Twilight (p-dog), Thursday, 12 January 2012 19:04 (twelve years ago) link
Could have been worse, I was figuring it was going to say "Next up will be his Jar-Jar Binks biopic."
― Ned Raggett, Thursday, 12 January 2012 19:05 (twelve years ago) link
In the last decade and a half, Lucas has given “Star Wars” several “final” cuts. For the 1997 special edition, he made Greedo, a green-skinned alien, fire his blaster at Han Solo because Han’s murdering Greedo in cold blood — as the 1977 version had it — struck him as a violation of his own naïve style. For the new Blu-ray version of “Return of the Jedi,” Lucas added Darth Vader shouting, “Nooo!” as he seizes the evil emperor in the movie’s climactic scene. Lucas made the Ewoks blink. And so forth.
When fanboys wailed, Lucas did not just hear the scream of young Jedis; he heard something like the voice of the studio. The dumb, uncomprehending voice in his Socratic dialogues — a voice telling him how to make a blockbuster. “On the Internet, all those same guys that are complaining I made a change are completely changing the movie,” Lucas says, referring to fans who, like the dreaded studios, have done their own forcible re-edits. “I’m saying: ‘Fine. But my movie, with my name on it, that says I did it, needs to be the way I want it.’ ”
Lucas seized control of his movies from the studios only to discover that the fanboys could still give him script notes. “Why would I make any more,” Lucas says of the “Star Wars” movies, “when everybody yells at you all the time and says what a terrible person you are?”
― max, Tuesday, 17 January 2012 17:19 (twelve years ago) link
http://www.nytimes.com/2012/01/22/magazine/george-lucas-red-tails.html?_r=1&pagewanted=all
How you like that, Mr. Hitler
― job kreaytor (Shakey Mo Collier), Tuesday, 17 January 2012 17:33 (twelve years ago) link
“Once this is finished, he’s done everything he’s ever wanted to do,” says Rick McCallum, who has been producing Lucas’s films for more than 20 years. “He will have completed his task as a man and a filmmaker.”
i imagine this quote slowly rising in pitch and intensity
― Critique of Pure Moods (goole), Tuesday, 17 January 2012 17:51 (twelve years ago) link
lol
― TracerHandVEVO (Tracer Hand), Tuesday, 17 January 2012 17:52 (twelve years ago) link