Just when you thought it was safe - OK CUPID PART 3: The Return of the WOO!

Don't assume.

See this is why I just dont reply if I'm not taken by someone's profile that messages me... its a little cutthroat, I know, but this is a dating site, these are strangers, I dont want to waste anyone's time getting their hopes up.

On that note: anyone get put off if someone's profile includes "casual sex" as one of their looking fors?

(I think I do, even though Im not actually averse to such a thing)

i highly recommend this website

Kinda jealous of your quick good luck, dammit ;P

But yay for you! <3

ZS I think you have to have an N>1 to assert that.

That said, yay ZS!

I just tweaked my profile a bit and added the pic I posted on WDYLL the other day. Asked N to look at it, apparently mine says I reply often. I didnt think I did!? I ignore as many messages as I respond to.

Laurel, quick replies on this site are fairly uncommon. I don't think this reply means disinterest. Write back and see if you can get a conversation going.

I did some damage control texting to try and mitigate the mess I created last night. Anyway, realized I'm not interested in this dude anymore, so thats a good thing.

Re casual sex, yea I think it's bit offputting when someone explicitly states that. My feeling is that this is a dating site, of course there will be some casual sex happening at some point.

There are some people on OKC who - like CL, I suppose - are explicitly looking for hookups/shags/affairs. Its kind of ew but I guess it comes with the territory.

EACH TO THEIR OWN I GUESS

i'm not opposed to casual sex but i am mortified at the idea of my cousin or coworker stumbling across my profile or something like that.

also i've heard that if you list it and you are a woman you are immediately inundated with 394058430953 messages.

i wish there was an option for "wants something a little bit more than casual sex, but i swear i do not want to marry your or have babies, so we can keep hanging out like normal people who like each other without things getting stupid".

Ljublijana (87%) very nice profile and cute haircut!

thanks!

xxp even that would have the same result, i believe...

VP, yours is extremely intriguing and interesting! I think you were not to keen upthread on public comments so I'll webmail you.

Zora, can't find.

Rayuela (93%), your profile totally works for me. I like the recovering grad student part. I also like the mention of the progressive organization. Also,thanks for big upping qbpl. We should hang. I didn't put my name here bc I have shyness syndrome, but if you notice a creepy lady paying a visit to your profile that is me.

Is that everyone? Mh, do you live in mpls and have a slight kink predilection? If so, nice profile.

Thanks, lj! I look forward to your comments.

Really do appreciate yr comments, VP, I'd comment on everyone elses profile but I really dont feel like I'm any expert at this crap :/

Is that everyone? Mh, do you live in mpls and have a slight kink predilection? If so, nice profile.

hahaha no, but I'm intrigued

As am I (j/k). Of course, no problem on the comments, trayce. Those who can't do, teach. Thanks lj for your excellent feedback. I tried to write you back but the ilx robot may have poxy fuled it.

I just sent someone a message (9 sentences).

trayce -- yeah, i also ignore a ton of messages, but when i checked yesterday it said i reply often. i guess it's good to know that those that actually have REPLY SELECTIVELY must hardly reply to any messages!

vp, i <3 qbpl.

someone just wrote me to say "you look angry in all of your pictures". that is the only message i've received this evening.

:(
:(((((
why do i repel other humans?

wow, what an asshole that person is.

Yeah thats really rude :(

Someone messaged me the other day to ask if I was [insert the name of a presumed back door porn actress I am not repeating for google purposes] from some dodgy sex website?

I mean ew, wtf!?

When I first joined okc the first message I received said "your pics, make you look angry."

Then I had this random guy messaging me and suggesting which pics he thought were more flattering.

Then I had a guy write and offer to take me out to take better pics of me.

fuck all that noise

Yeah I now and then get quite rude "negging" messages too. I guess some guys think they're being funny or something I donno.

I've had nasty messages back once or twice after I've written 'thanks for the message but I don't think we're a good match' replies.

Ronan: profile is much better

I got a rather charming message from some really crabby looking toad who pretty much, in summary, said "You'll do..."

His profile says he dislikes children, is grumpy, and thinks women are obligated to shave their legs.

WHY?

Sometimes I think if I moved to a different city I'd be far more successful in love.

just curious: how often do the women posting here get msg'd? even at my most active i was seriously getting maybe like...one message every two weeks?

I get maybe one a week.

I have a female friend who is very, very pretty who gets like 10 a day, though.

Mandee, I think you would clean up in New York.

I get maybe one or two messages a day? Sometimes less, it depends. But only after searching around and clicking on lots of profiles. If I didn't do that, I doubt I would get that much attention. Just checking, yesterday I got one new message, another message that was someone replying to me, and a third message that was someone who wrote me that I replied to who wrote back. I'm always bored and updating my profile or adding new things to it...so unfortunately that shows up on the new activity screen and then I get the crazy contingent writing in.

I can go weeks w/o getting a message. I think it's partly proportional to your activity on the site--I never really browse or look at other ppl's profiles, and usually only login to reply to messages. When I update my profile or something, I might get a few new messages that exact day, but then nothing.

Allow me to share a bit of advice a friend gave me when I joined the site. She said that looking at profiles is like exchanging glances at a bar. So, when you look at someone's profile they are going to see that you visited, they might in return look at yours, and so on...until someone messages (~offers to buy you a beer).

so i should stop browsing anonymously?

I had a massive message uptick when I put up a new photo, and now silence despite people looking at my profile and me looking at theirs in return. It's like none of us can be arsed, which isn't really true on my side - when I get less busy, I'll actually write to some of these dudes and spend time on some dates.

Yes, stop browsing anonymously xpost

ahahahaha.

x-post

yes, post haste.

I used to switch back and forth between anon and non anon (but then I would lose the saved activity), so now I just use my secret profile when I feel the need to stalk.

Yeah, I was browsing anonymously. Just changed that setting!

i just disabled my account because things are going absurdly well already.

but yeah, seems like turning off anonymous browsing is the way to go, because at least for me, i would check out the profile of almost anyone who had visited my page. the person that i found had been on my page at 6:30 am or something and caught my eye.

ZS: you have a serious case of beginner's luck! Well done.

i know i should be more proactive about browsing and messaging people but i just don't have the patience/energy. so the only people i check out are people that send me messages.

i do have a date next sunday with a lawyer who i suspect is shorter than me, as his profile lists him only one inch taller and it's pretty common for men to add two inches. i don't have a problem with dating someone shorter, but i don't know if a lot of men want to date someone taller.

and tonight is the date with the non-drinker, finally.

it's pretty common for men to add two inches

this is so strange! i mean, i could see some men doing it, but still, very odd.

but i don't know if a lot of men want to date someone taller.

the good news is that if he listed himself as an inch taller, then either:
a) he's one of those guys who adds two inches, so he's actually an inch shorter than you, but surely he's seen your height on your profile so he's cool with being a bit shorter, or
b) he's actually an inch taller than you

VP, thank you for trying to find me, I am actually Zora[insert an underscore]DBII not ZoraDBII as previously advised. And seeing as how others are being cautious about putting their exact handles on here, it's probably not a bad thing that I got it wrong!

I need to stalk some of your profiles now.

i've actually gotten to the point where on pulling up a profile i do a 3 point check: match percentage, photo thumbnail peek & height. a+ on 1&2 mean nothin for me if the girl is more than 2 inches taller tbh. helps me power past disappointment faster.

hoos, you wouldn't date a taller lady? why not?

Laurel (89%) - Love the pic, and your profile made me want to message you to ask what you mean by 'genre' fiction.

bene_gesserit (77%) - You have awesome hair, nice chatty profile, yay pangolins!

Fiction that isn't considered "literary", it's divided up by entertainment "genres": sci-fi/fantasy, mystery, espionage, thriller, etc. Romance, too, I guess, although my interests do not turn there.