Just when you thought it was safe - OK CUPID PART 3: The Return of the WOO!

Thanks for taking the time to look, VP! btw, an ILXor took my current default pic

I've been surprised by people who didn't "full-body" so now I wonder when I only see faces. Yea, trayce, if you wanted to meet more random people, I would say take some of that stuff out, but I think if you want to meet specific people who like that stuff or at least tolerate that you like it, I would say leave it in.

B_g, how was your thing? This guy is really taking it slow! Also, how did you stealth rate me? I only found out when I rated you.

reawakened my account on this thing tonight, after reading this thread, but it seems pretty likely i'll end up doing what i did before and shutting my account down because i feel awkward about it

VP, my date had food poisoning and cancelled today, so instead i had a fabulous lady date with a dear friend for italian food in the west village.

no idea if it was food poisoning or "food poisoning" but he rescheduled for monday. if he flakes on monday then i guess i'll really know how he feels!

i uploaded a picture of my new haircut to okc yesterday and have had a zillion more profile views than normal, but no messages! it might be because i was doing an interpretive dance with my cat to kate bush when i took the picture :/

Men need time to message you, b_g; they'll get around to it--don't worry.

I embarassed myself in front of the faux ilxor last night--I used to be so cool and unbothered but somehow I have developed into a terribly needy person. I think I need to go to dating remedial school.

I don't like to hear you say that. :( People have needs, they need things from other people sometimes. It's not your FAULT for being human.

PS: I have not been embarrassing in matters of romant, but I have been drunk/over-friendly/inexpert in public a couple of times lately and I'm trying to forgive myself, too.

Robyn told me something like that in the spring, when I was saying I don't know how to have relationships, I do it wrong, and she was like why is the narrative that we are doing things wrong, why can't we allow ourselves to be who we are and seek out what we need?

Thanks, Laurel! :) It all makes sense. Still, I am not drinking Manhattans again. Truth serum, or more like vocalizing agent.

I guess because I'm a pale fatty I've never thought of myself as conventionally attractive. Out here in CO most dudes seem to want a thin, blonde athletic type who wants to go trail running with them.

If I had to go trail running, I'd find a nice cliff and fall off it. So gross.

dude out in Colorado reporting: I can confirm this.

xpost

altho i gravitate towards shoulder-length brown hair w/ girls w/ such propensity that sometimes it takes me days after meeting them to realize they aren't as good looking as when i first became enamored by their hair

blame freud

Virginia Plain, you could be telling the story of one of my happy hours, except substitute manhattans for whiskey neat. I have definitely been more measured at all future happy hours. i feel your pain! :/

I wrote to someone this AM, a comment about some similarities between our profiles. His response was like this: Pleasantry, non-committal comment about similarities, book recommendation, closed with "Thanks for writing." No questions, nothing to take further, and I'm reading "Thanks for writing" as a dismissal. Right?

I'll be in the lump thread if anyone needs me.

Don't assume.

See this is why I just dont reply if I'm not taken by someone's profile that messages me... its a little cutthroat, I know, but this is a dating site, these are strangers, I dont want to waste anyone's time getting their hopes up.

On that note: anyone get put off if someone's profile includes "casual sex" as one of their looking fors?

(I think I do, even though Im not actually averse to such a thing)

i highly recommend this website

Kinda jealous of your quick good luck, dammit ;P

But yay for you! <3

ZS I think you have to have an N>1 to assert that.

That said, yay ZS!

I just tweaked my profile a bit and added the pic I posted on WDYLL the other day. Asked N to look at it, apparently mine says I reply often. I didnt think I did!? I ignore as many messages as I respond to.

Laurel, quick replies on this site are fairly uncommon. I don't think this reply means disinterest. Write back and see if you can get a conversation going.

I did some damage control texting to try and mitigate the mess I created last night. Anyway, realized I'm not interested in this dude anymore, so thats a good thing.

Re casual sex, yea I think it's bit offputting when someone explicitly states that. My feeling is that this is a dating site, of course there will be some casual sex happening at some point.

There are some people on OKC who - like CL, I suppose - are explicitly looking for hookups/shags/affairs. Its kind of ew but I guess it comes with the territory.

EACH TO THEIR OWN I GUESS

i'm not opposed to casual sex but i am mortified at the idea of my cousin or coworker stumbling across my profile or something like that.

also i've heard that if you list it and you are a woman you are immediately inundated with 394058430953 messages.

i wish there was an option for "wants something a little bit more than casual sex, but i swear i do not want to marry your or have babies, so we can keep hanging out like normal people who like each other without things getting stupid".

Ljublijana (87%) very nice profile and cute haircut!

thanks!

xxp even that would have the same result, i believe...

VP, yours is extremely intriguing and interesting! I think you were not to keen upthread on public comments so I'll webmail you.

Zora, can't find.

Rayuela (93%), your profile totally works for me. I like the recovering grad student part. I also like the mention of the progressive organization. Also,thanks for big upping qbpl. We should hang. I didn't put my name here bc I have shyness syndrome, but if you notice a creepy lady paying a visit to your profile that is me.

Is that everyone? Mh, do you live in mpls and have a slight kink predilection? If so, nice profile.

Thanks, lj! I look forward to your comments.

Really do appreciate yr comments, VP, I'd comment on everyone elses profile but I really dont feel like I'm any expert at this crap :/

Is that everyone? Mh, do you live in mpls and have a slight kink predilection? If so, nice profile.

hahaha no, but I'm intrigued

As am I (j/k). Of course, no problem on the comments, trayce. Those who can't do, teach. Thanks lj for your excellent feedback. I tried to write you back but the ilx robot may have poxy fuled it.

I just sent someone a message (9 sentences).

trayce -- yeah, i also ignore a ton of messages, but when i checked yesterday it said i reply often. i guess it's good to know that those that actually have REPLY SELECTIVELY must hardly reply to any messages!

vp, i <3 qbpl.

someone just wrote me to say "you look angry in all of your pictures". that is the only message i've received this evening.

:(
:(((((
why do i repel other humans?

wow, what an asshole that person is.

Yeah thats really rude :(

Someone messaged me the other day to ask if I was [insert the name of a presumed back door porn actress I am not repeating for google purposes] from some dodgy sex website?

I mean ew, wtf!?

When I first joined okc the first message I received said "your pics, make you look angry."

Then I had this random guy messaging me and suggesting which pics he thought were more flattering.

Then I had a guy write and offer to take me out to take better pics of me.

fuck all that noise

Yeah I now and then get quite rude "negging" messages too. I guess some guys think they're being funny or something I donno.

I've had nasty messages back once or twice after I've written 'thanks for the message but I don't think we're a good match' replies.

Ronan: profile is much better

I got a rather charming message from some really crabby looking toad who pretty much, in summary, said "You'll do..."

His profile says he dislikes children, is grumpy, and thinks women are obligated to shave their legs.

WHY?

Sometimes I think if I moved to a different city I'd be far more successful in love.

just curious: how often do the women posting here get msg'd? even at my most active i was seriously getting maybe like...one message every two weeks?

I get maybe one a week.

I have a female friend who is very, very pretty who gets like 10 a day, though.

Mandee, I think you would clean up in New York.

I get maybe one or two messages a day? Sometimes less, it depends. But only after searching around and clicking on lots of profiles. If I didn't do that, I doubt I would get that much attention. Just checking, yesterday I got one new message, another message that was someone replying to me, and a third message that was someone who wrote me that I replied to who wrote back. I'm always bored and updating my profile or adding new things to it...so unfortunately that shows up on the new activity screen and then I get the crazy contingent writing in.

I can go weeks w/o getting a message. I think it's partly proportional to your activity on the site--I never really browse or look at other ppl's profiles, and usually only login to reply to messages. When I update my profile or something, I might get a few new messages that exact day, but then nothing.

Allow me to share a bit of advice a friend gave me when I joined the site. She said that looking at profiles is like exchanging glances at a bar. So, when you look at someone's profile they are going to see that you visited, they might in return look at yours, and so on...until someone messages (~offers to buy you a beer).