Just when you thought it was safe - OK CUPID PART 3: The Return of the WOO!

that was the most louis of louis posts i can hardly believe it

yarrrrgh, i suck at this. but here's mine: ZSZSZS
making a profile is fucking hard because my tendency is to not big up myself, and to use bad words a little too much, and to be self-deprecating, and those are all things that you can't really do on a profile.

I do them all the time! Also the people whose profiles I like are the ones who are the glummest and most cutting. "You should message me if...you want to have a thoroughly mediocre time. You're holding a drink in all your photos. You hate museums." This is probably not entirely healthy on either side but it's what I go for.

It's true that the general preferred overtones are prob different for most of the women in yr target population, though.

making a profile is fucking hard because my tendency is to not big up myself, and to use bad words a little too much, and to be self-deprecating, and those are all things that you can't really do on a profile.

yes, i hate bragging, and i don't feel like i have a lot to brag about. everyone makes themselves out to be super intense professional creative dynamos and it is overwhelming. i went out with a guy who works as a sound engineer a few weeks ago and went on about how he can't date people that don't work in creative fields, because they are not "self-actualized"...uhm, ok. i'm just trying to find someone to make out with, bud.

Omfg, I'd be nearly ready to walk out on a statement like that. Think it, by all means. Don't say it.

I hate positive profiles. Bring on the cynical downers. I will date them all.

The people who only want "other creatives" are so bad, but hopefully they self-select themselves into an artistic albatross.

ZS, I think yr prof is nice! The right amt of being honest without being over-earnest. The EPA thing obv means you care about what you do because no one else would bother. After the self-sum it gets a tiny bit dry, I guess. The music and book parts, I generally hate them b/c people just LIST SHIT and WHO CARES ABOUT YR SHIT?!--it's all signifiers, obv, which is fine and has its usefulness I guess. I like the specificity of the MBV reference b/c a person can go and listen to it to see what you mean.

Good selection of pics. Is this prof working for you so far?

who is my 83% straight male match from NZ? hah

i got a message just now! asking about what in the hell marble madness.

not sure how to respond (i'm not really into her based off of profile so no pressure). it's probably not a good thing to list because if people ask, i'm tempted to mention that I AM THE WORLD RECORD HOLDER ON MARBLE MADNESS. i mean, seriously, i once taped a speed run that came within a thousand points of the top score on Twingalaxies, and i've beaten the record off-camera several times.

but yeah, i should probably NOT mention that.

everyone makes themselves out to be super intense professional creative dynamos and it is overwhelming. i went out with a guy who works as a sound engineer a few weeks ago and went on about how he can't date people that don't work in creative fields, because they are not "self-actualized".

bell laps!!!!! This person is awful and you don't want him for anything!!! You should stand up and say, "Thank you for your time, this date is over. Also, you are SO NOT A CHAIR." This is a dumb reference that probably only I and ENBB will get b/c I told her the story last week.

xp No you should totally mention that!

the positivity/earnestness thing is in sooooo many gay dudes' profiles, like "i'm an open-minded, adventurous guy, looking for new experiences, etc." for once i'd like someone to be like "i'm pretty much set in my ways"

xp i think i've mentioned my spelling bee championships before but take a wild guess how many ppl are impressed by that

Look I'm terrible at dating and I only like people who are bad for me, so take my word for it at your own risk. But I think that stuff is cool.

I think we all just want to date Dr. Morbius. Or maybe that's just me? :)

man, the way OkCupid says "WELCOME HOME!" when you visit the site is sooooooo depressing.

WELCOME HOME (TO LONELYVILLE, POPULATION: YOU AND A BUNCH OF OTHER PEOPLE YOU PROBABLY DON'T LIKE)

i think some people would def be impressed by spelling be championship winners - i am!

(Southeastern Missouri spelling bee champion, 7th-8th grade)
:)

fuck yeah, i'm adding that to the profile. if people are annoyed by that, then fuck them

including those kinds of things also implies a certain sense of humour, and to me a shared sense of humour is pretty damn important and a big part of the chemistry

Also that kind of stuff makes the person an individual in my mind. Everyone reads the same "important" books and sees the same arthouse movies, I don't care about those qualifications. (Also I don't like important books or arthouse movies.) But being the world record-holder at a simplistic arcade game no one cares about, THAT IS MAGIC.

PEOPLE CARE ABOUT IT, LAUREL
(jk, no one cares about it)

rayuela! I got to your profile, finally. :) I think it's...it doesn't work for me, but we already said that I only like the grimmest, and your cheerfulness is prob way healthier. But the voice isn't very personal-feeling, imo? Lots of people are recovering grad students. I would feel compelled to make a self-deprecatory joke about endless housewifey baking...or something. "Baking! It's science you eat!" I dunno. But some personal feel would help me grok you more?

I like the long-limbed bit, actually! That whole section has a nice tone! Also it goes well w the photo of you looking drunk in the lt blue button-up shirt and I bet you wear menswear really well. That lanky look and the way the shirt collar falls open, it's a good thing. Other than that, science fiction yay!

pop quiz: when you send a message to someone, the average length is

- one sentence
- two sentences
- three to five sentences
- 2 paragraphs
- 3 or more full paragraphs

should say when you FIRST send a message. like, the first interaction

Oh, short. The last one I sent accused a dude of being on a fishing expedition to see if I'd respond. He responded.

I usually do two sentences.

The people who only want "other creatives" are so bad

"Creative" is such a fungible descriptor these days.

VP, I promise you don't know the (necessarily well-hidden) half of me.

See, I don't want a cynical grump. I am already kind of a borderline brooding grump, and I don't need any encouragement. I am at my best around happy, joyful, lighthearted people who aren't very serious.

I really, really believe that people should be earnest and sincere in their dating profiles. We're looking for potential love, aren't we? Why act like it doesn't matter?

re: Laurel...haha is it that obvious i'm drunk in that one? and yeah, my profile is a compromise between my older profile, which my friends said was too mean/not friendly enough. they fixed it up and I had to go in and re-edit and remove smiley faces. I should embrace my inner grumpiness!

while people are doing honest criticisms/recommendations for profiles i am open to some as well! one of my friends already read it and made me take out that i spent my typical friday nights listening to kate bush and doing an interpretive dance with my cat, but she didn't really give me any other changes. i'm am guess i come off as bitter.

i also need more flattering pictures of myself, but it is hard to make those materialize out of thin air.

i am guess = i am guessing

I would so message a guy if they had the Kate Bush/dancing cat thing in their profile

when i do message someone, it's like 2-4 sentences

pouncing up that hill

xp

btw the comments are helpful! keep em coming, if there is more. i can reciprocate on the weekend (with the caveat that I am typically a horrible judge of profiles and what that says abt ppl, if my past experiences are anything to go by.)

one of my friends already read it and made me take out that i spent my typical friday nights listening to kate bush and doing an interpretive dance with my cat

I mean, knowing you, this would be my favorite part of the prof. But you aren't writing them for people you already know. ;_;

I joined Match and the people on here are the most boring alive

I'm getting the sense that the reason these dudes can't find a girlfriend is that they spend all their time working and working out

xxxxxp Because finding the interpretive dance part just totally awesome and endearing would require knowing that you are normally reserved in public and that your schtick is to be kind of constrained and not that expressive except in quick bursts which you then look slightly embarrassed by. You are not some over-emoting theatre student or self-consciously arty person or cat woman (I refuse to use "crazy" because I get super annoyed lately at how often crazy is applied to women for various things).

WELCOME HOME (TO LONELYVILLE, POPULATION: YOU AND A BUNCH OF OTHER PEOPLE YOU PROBABLY DON'T LIKE)

This was hysterical.

xpost

i also don't REALLY spend my typical friday nights doing that and it was supposed to be a joke! (though i'm not going to lie, it may have happened once or twice.) i'm pretty much a cat lady, though.

I started with one or two sentences but now I'm up to a paragraph or so (lightly engaging with something in their profile.) Maybe more if I'm inspired. But it's always very light and friendly.

Everyone reads the same "important" books and sees the same arthouse movies,

Not the profiles I look at it. Too many women in my 45 to 55 bracket do the opposite--they're so non-specific and have no vibe--
Their profiles don't convey their personality,values, or interests.

Maybe that's more the women on Match than on okcupid

hoos hoos hoos. You should know better than this, boo.

So, question: is it important for you guys that someone you date like the same things as you? Books, movies, shows, etc? Or is that of little or no importance?

it's not the most important thing but i do take it somewhat into consideration. for example, ayn rand is an automatic BZZZZZZZZZZZT NEXT (even tho gays LOVE her)

Ok, I'm looking at these in reverse order. ZS, your pics are adorable. Personally, your profile sounds kind of too upbeat and well-adjusted for me, so I wouldn't contact you, but if you contacted me I would definitely respond. Hint, hint (j/k). One thing I would suggest, instead of saying that you're fun to hang out with...show it...tell a story about the kind of things you like to do with friends, for example. Also, I'd kill the part about 'i don't like to brag'--it's hard to make that sound sincere in this forum. If you want to talk about playing drums I would just talk about it. But maybe say what you do with it, you're in a band? Or what kind of music you play, or something? I like your 'spend a lot if time thinking about' section, cause it's concrete and gives me specific information about you.

See, I thought ZS's profile was the best out of all of y'alls so far.

(Women like upbeat, well-adjusted men... on the whole)