Just when you thought it was safe - OK CUPID PART 3: The Return of the WOO!

No but that's adorable!

I bet you he goes there right after work tomorrow.

^^^

My hairdresser, who I believe you were instrumental in introducing me to, told me that right after joining okc things started happening for her IRL. Though sometimes I wonder if the reason people aren't talking to each other IRL is because they are so busy internet dating.

Talked to my mother last night. One of the things she wanted to know was whether I had met any nice young men yet. Oh moms.

I still get asked that every once in a while (except it's if I've met a nice young woman, of course). I can't wait for the day when I say something like "I have, actually! Her name is Adam"

<3 <3 stevie

I saw an ad for JDate on TV today and thought of you guys.

I've started searching everywhere, instead of just in NYC, out of boredom. Result: someone in Boston chose me. I could rate him back, but I only give 5 stars to my personal friends.

I thought the badge/reward system was to recognize friends and the stars were to tell the system who you might be a match with? I know it adjusts who it recommends based on how you've done star ratings.

I mean, if you want to date your friends, that's cool.

Rayuela, that was my previous strategy but I got burned out with guys being all clueless and needy.

Yeah. It's just become near impossible for me to tell by these profiles and short conversations whether I might actually like someone or not. I've gone on dates where by their profile & our conversations, I was excited, but as soon as we met, it was like torture. So I've decided that my brain is trying to sabotage me and I need to confuse it by going out with a bunch of people.

I don't even know if I have a date tonight. We said ok let's meet, then I said I'm free Tuesday, and he messaged me only his phone number without any accompanying text like "great let's meet on Tuesday, give me a call" or anything. Is this normal?

Also, Virginia Plain, how do you exchange #s just for texting? Do you send it with a message saying this number is only for texting?

Oy the guy who said "Please be reasonably fit and good looking, I know everyone wants that, but I think it's good to just say it" who is sticking his bird chest out funny in his pic, and who seems to have rearranged his face into a permanent sneer.

Nothing against bird-like rib cages, please note. Solely as applied to this guy.

i have no problem with bird-like rib cages, or non bird-like rib cages, but one of my biggest problems with this site is that the schlubbiest nerds feel entitled to be really picky about womens' looks. actually this true of the entire internet (i.e. that lindsay lohan thread).

You might not want to click on the thread entitled "ws2011."

yeahhhhhhh i think i'll be avoiding that one.

fuck dudes.

seriously.

/marc loi

I don't even know if I have a date tonight. We said ok let's meet, then I said I'm free Tuesday, and he messaged me only his phone number without any accompanying text like "great let's meet on Tuesday, give me a call" or anything. Is this normal?

No, that's not normal.Or not nice I should say.

Not to go too off topic, but the last time I looked at that Lohan thread the people speaking most to her appearance were women and gay men

If someone give you five stars and you give them five stars in return, it sends you both a message that you like each other. I only do that to friends. Should I branch out? I don't feel comfortable rating strangers.

Laurel, I think that bird-like-chest guy wants to meet me in Columbus Circle(?)

Rayuela, I usually message back and forth a few times with someone, make some sort of plan, and then at the closing stages, send over my phone number, in a "any problems, let me know" sort of way.

Also true of 4 stars

Oh, is it 5 stars--you are totally into each other and 4 stars--what does it tell you?

Columbus Circle, what the hell? Are there bars there?

I was gonna say the same thing

I'll check on "be fit and pretty" guy at lunch and msg you to see if it's same one. He gave me enough stars that the site sent me a msg but I was planning to ignore it.

do you ever get a reciprocal good rating (ie you each give each other four or five stars) with no further attempt at follow-up conversation? that's happened with me a few times.

ya that's always kinda awkward

it's so weird! like "i like you enough to assign a completely arbitrary rating to you but not enough to actually say 'hi'"

He probably works there, and doesn't want to go out his way. I definitely read those exact words in someone's profile...

You guys, why don't you follow up on mutual ratings? I always email my friends after I rate them.

Messaging with dudes in Toronto and Austin now.

Be careful, I ended up in a 1-yr relationship with some dude in Seattle from one of the online dating outlets. Few things are a greater pita than ldrs.

Seriously, the last thing I need is a long-distance penpal. And yet...

Is his name something like rawrodgersforyou? What a cad! How dare he rate you while inviting me to a dream date at Columbus circle.

rawrodgersforyou

OMG I just emailed you. Same guy. As I just remarked via email, that name alone makes me wonder if you can catch a social disease via your eyeballs.

I am just not sure about online dating. What my brain thinks is good for me really never is that compelling in person.

Also, I had some guy give me 4 (or 5 stars, not sure which), and then save me as a favorite, but then when I wrote him he never responded.

Hahaha, and I thought he seemed like quite a catch.

What my brain thinks is good for me really never is that compelling in person.

that is me.

i stopped doing the rating thing after there were some mutually high ratings and none of us ever got in touch, which is as much my fault as it is theirs, but i was like oh this is too awkward for me to handle...

Oh dear, I'm sorry, Mary. I'm just being uncharitable because shopping for dates on the internet makes me feel uncharitable toward a lot of their profiles. Completely my own fault.

^^No worries, Laurel, I was being ironical. I have nothing invested in raw rogers.

You people are crazy, even if you get a shared high rating and there are not messages, you're still at least telling the site "I want to see more people like this" even if you later realize that particular one isn't quite for you.

For what it's worth, the iPhone version basically makes the "skim some profile details, rate with stars, go to the next one" into a two-tap thing if you feel like it, so people might just be doing this as a time killer.

The first ok-NYC meet-up will be held tomorrow around 7/7:30 in the east village, perhaps at monas, barring any better ideas. Come one, come all. We'll blindly rate profiles as we cry into our drinks. So far the attendees are myself and mookie.

Oh god I'm destroyed levels of tired this week, probably paying for LAST week, but it would be fun, I think. I'm still kinda faking, though, since I haven't had a date or anything (or even emailed anyone yet).

Laurel appears to be more cool than straight women her age. Yes, OKC, you got that right.

oh I would love to go to a session dedicated to OKC bitching as I think I'm starting to drive my friends nuts! But I provisionally have a date tomorrow. If it goes down in flames, you will find me wandering the east village, looking for yall.

Hahah wait WAHT? xp It does not say that.

Aye well, we'll update this thread tomorrow with wherever we end up going? So you'll have a slightly better idea where to look.

the fact that okc emails you when someone rates you highly means that i never do it anymore. it used to be kind of good as a shy person "i MIGHT like you, but only if you like me back, and i can be sure before i say anything" icebreaker.

i'll be in the east village tomorrow night (for THERAPY, how apt) so i could definitely meet up after!

pretty sure it does that only when you rate each other highly?

i get "so and so has chosen you" emails from people now who i haven't rated - they changed it recently!

Laurel, you have to look at your personality chart. I am more experienced in life than straight women my age. Thank you, okc.

They did change it: now anytime someone rates you 4 or 5 stars you get a message and anytime you rate anyone 4 or 5 stars they get a message, and if you both happen to mutually rate each other, you both get a message saying that you are totally into each other.