Throw on Your Best Cardigan and Celebrate Fall 2011 with the Gays of ILX

i'm being lazy and going as a Lost Boy. there's something about Halloween that has started to rub me the wrong way as i get older. but then again, i've also grown to really dislike dressing up. let me wear my fucking black cut-off shirt with my black jeans and my black combat boots, like i do every day.

evidence: my housemate just put some mascara and eye-shadow on me, and i couldn't stop giggling because it tickles so much, and then she said, "you're so butch when it comes to make-up."

Morbs, I was thinking tonight of dressing up as Shelly Duvall in the Shining: beige turtleneck sweater underneath green checkered cambray shirt, brown overall corduroy culottes, sheepskin and suede booties, and a knife. Maybe next year we can coordinate as a duo.

Please do that, and deliver everything you say in a really unnatural and forced manner.

grindr for blackberry still hasn't emerged despite their promises

it has, i use it but it glitchy as hell. i hate my blackberry but i got it free as a friend's cast off.

weird night: i went to a friend's for a drink and walked home past the uni - lots of hot boys dressed up. half a mile further on i catch up with gorilla-suited guy (sans mask) with a northern irish accent asking me if he was walking in the direction of town and explaining that he had to get to his mate's flat so that he could get some sleep before his 10am flight to belfast. i explained that he wasn't but if he walked with me for a bit he could get to the main road where he could get a taxi.

as we are walking he told me he had lost his friends because he had gone back to a girl's flat and she had thrown him out. the guy seems adorable (he's 21, 21, 21...) so i sympathise with him. shortly afterwards he asks me where i've been and i tell him about my uneventful night. after that he asks me if i'm top or bottom (!), taken aback slightly (although i was getting a vibe off him) i say that i'm mostly top "but it depends" etc... he tells me he's bottom. okay....

when we get to the main road and find a taxi he ends up coming back to mine, i'm pretty excited, this hasn't really happened to me before and he's hot. we get straight down to it as soon as we get into the flat. he takes off his gorilla suit and he's wearing jeans but no top under it. a quick feel tells me his cock is fucking massive, yep.

after some kissing and to-ing and fro-ing and whatever else (i'll spare you) he's trying to fuck me but it's not really happening so i try to fuck him which i do relatively successfully (actually not too well tbh) but i'm so het-up i come pretty fast (shit happens) and have to end up... well, whatever, fill in the blanks.

as soon as he's done he gets up and goes back through to the lounge to put on his jeans and gorilla suit again. i get up and ask him if he wants me to phone a taxi? i phone several numbers but they're all engaged, it's Halloween weekend, after all. he's getting pretty stroppy by this point, actually, smoking a cigarette in the flat without asking and flicking the ash on the floor - he starts throwing a rubber-band ball around the room, knocks over a painting and is generally being a bit threatening, he's a big guy, much bigger than me. i can see the main road from my window so i can see that there are lots of taxis on the street and they're all going back into town empty so i tell him where to go to flag one down.

after he leaves i breathe a sigh of relief but as i look the back window to watch him go i wait, and wait... it seems he's taking ages to leave the building. i realise why as soon as i see him - he's stolen my bike which i generally leave on the half landing unchained (silly i know) and he's opening the garden gate and getting on to it. i grab my keys and run like fuck down the stairs. i'm wearing jeans and socks and nothing else. by the time i get to the gate he's only 50 yards on because he's so drunk and i live on a cobbled lane which is a nightmare to cycle on - unfortunately it's also a nightmare to run on since i've only got socks on and it's been raining. i'm gaining ground on him though. it seems it's easier to run in socks on wet cobbles than it is to cycle in a gorilla suit on wet cobbles.

just as he's about to reach the end of my lane and turn onto the tarmacked part on the next street & therefore gaining ground on the flat surface (shakespeare street, my side street is called hathaway lane, i love this fact) i see a guy walking towards him who seems to work out the situation without me calling for help, i can;t anyway cos i'm so out of breath. the approaching guy grabs the handlebars of the bike and it topples over. gorrilla suit (brian) falls off but rights himself pretty fast and runs ahead but the nice guy has my bike. he's pissing himself laughing and asks what the situation was and i make up some b.s. about a Halloween party that got out of hand. it doesn't even make any sense to me as i'm telling it and he's looking at me oddly but laughing good-naturedly anyway.

so i shagged a 21 y.o. irish lad with a massive shaved cock and i still have my bike and all's well, i guess. THE END.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NmOoekbK6YI

wait what jed? that is fucking crazy.

it was kind of good that i posted that shining scene right after :-)

anyway, i'm about to go to the party i promote. halloween themed. ay! it's going to be nuts.

haha tl,dr obviously. i just write that for myself so i could remember the night before i go to bed. night-night.

have a good party! x

oh it's definitely worth reading. crazy story. glad you and your bicycle are all right. gnight.

GOOD STORY

best story. That's crazy.

yeah, only my last roommate (1995)'s tricks stole anything of mine (electric razor).

so i shagged a 21 y.o. irish lad with a massive shaved cock

must. visit. Ireland.

Went to the gay bar in Slope where there were a lot of opera costumes (big-boned bartender as Brunhilde). Then to my gay friend's 'regular' bar filled with 28ish kiddies. I step out to the snowy patio w/ him and we hear some str8guy (v hot) relating how he thought the girl he fucked last week "broke his dick" since it was sore for days after; she kept interrupting the fucking w/ going down on him, and he'd never been hard for 2 hours w/out coming before.

I told him "I'm in my fifth hour right now."

morbs!!

surm (and hi everyone else, str8 dude checking in on yall's (bookmarked) thread), I saw some guys on atlantic in full secret mask regalia that may have been bound for the party you were considering? they looked good. also, playing your (what i think is yr work?) tomorrow. maybs see you down there

woah! r u playing with sufjan?

yep tmrw, u work?

o god no, i worked all day today

sorry to miss u though, the show looks cool

yeah! catch u nxt time, be eeeasy

you too dude, be good

I went to a soul night that my friends didn't show up to, and spent most of the night dancing with a cute girl who was dressed as Nancy Drew until I had to run out and catch the last bus home. Rather uneventful by comparison.

Jed, that is a totally nutso story! Glad you got the bike back tho, I'd've been furious if he'd gotten away.

Ended up having Halloween funtimes after all! Went to get bent's party where we all watched the Paul Lynde Halloween Special (featuring Florence Henderson, Betty White and KISS) and then went to a crazy warehouse party in Lincoln Heights. My roommate, our friend and I dressed as Party Down caterers, matching pink bowties and all (I even managed to find identical serving trays for us at the very last minute).

Ladies and gentlemen, jed.

Great story, jed. Well worth reading.

Table, I love that scene from The Shining.

My Halloween partying was a movie marathon at a friend's house. 7 horror movies in a little over 12 hours. We chose movies that none of the organizers had seen before and we wound up with a pretty nice variety.

Today, rock climbing even though I have a little cold, and then maybe going to see Future Islands? I want to not go climbing b/c I'm sick but last week my arm was injured and if I miss two weeks in a row I'm not going back.

Oh man Jed your story rules

haha, cheers. i kept waking up last night wondering about this really vivid dream i had had before realising that it actually happened.

can't believe he ashed on your floor, i woulda lost it

Oh, Corey: I bought a b&w baja yesterday!

It finally happened: I met a namesake.

good afternoon

sorry yr fave unemployed basketball guy-reality hoe newlyweds broke up.

good morning/afternoon!

i have a date tonight, in pasadena! i have never been to pasadena before.

morbs he's so hot

a date!! who is the guy? is he cutey?

i like pasadena. there's an old bar there, i hope it's still there, where you can still smoke (on the d/l). xp

pasadena seems p chill from what everyone's told me about it

r4mz, his friend approached me in the bathroom line after my groundbreaking karaoke performance of "moonlight shadow" to ask if i was single, and then i approached him on the dance floor later.

this is v storybook

crazy weekend guys, went to glasgow, ended up trying to rob some dude's bike

this guy

what was al ship doing in Glasgow?

stevie d could you please like email me or something

al did u ever get a hug?

ugh T i wish you were here for pacific standard time

i mean, besides by me and darraghmac earlier xp

t3d, is this that guy you don't like? bcz based on this article i'm inclined to agree:

http://www.nytimes.com/2011/11/03/fashion/rhyme-or-reason-alex-dimitrovs-wilde-boys-salon-for-poetry-or-maybe-a-hot-date.html?_r=2&ref=fashion&pagewanted=all

ugh T i wish you were here for pacific standard time

― vitameatawalloginavegamin (donna rouge), Tuesday, November 1, 2011 11:36 PM (2 days ago)

i had no idea what you meant by this until a girl in my class was telling me about it today. i thought you were just referring to time zones are were potentially high.

nearly posted that in the quiddities NYT thread. ugh, I get rlly homophobic when I read that shit; have your lil fashion twink reading on a raft off Fire Island, preferably in a bad storm.

xp

one of the guys in the lead photo is a friend of mine

this is about halfway vicious enough a response:

http://www.theatlanticwire.com/entertainment/2011/11/attractive-young-writers-finally-find-way-hook/44495/

i can't even care enough to read that times article, it's basically a vom-fest in text