Just when you thought it was safe - OK CUPID PART 3: The Return of the WOO!

When someone puts in their profile, "don't message me if X" I am soo tempted to write back with X! A self-described comedian messaged me and when I checked his profile out, he said "don't message me asking me to tell you a joke. I hate that!" and I really want to send him a reply..."so, know any good jokes?"

I think I would love OkMisanthropy.

Getting lost is fine...I'm always getting lost. I don't have anything about that in my profile though.

I hate when people are already bossing you around about how to be and what to do in their profile, before you even meet them.

Someone wrote something like, "if you message me and i don't respond, don't take it personally.I just cant respond to everyone." it sounds ironic when i write it out, but he was serious.

I need new pics

http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ltqiso1Wol1qz6f9yo1_r1_500.jpg

I hate when people are already bossing you around about how to be and what to do in their profile, before you even meet them.

To be fair, I used to have something like this. I used to get lots of clearly Asian Fetish emails, so I resorted to putting a disclaimer in there, like 'if you have an asian fetish don't message me!' but it turns out that statements like that just bring folks out of the woodwork, and nearly all were like, what's so wrong with being an asian fetishist! So that's gone, and I have a more subtle screening system in place now. So it turns out I agree with you...

Btw, hi everyone. I'm new to ILX but there isn't really an "introductory place." This thread helps me to vent small things that I always forget about by the time I see my friends. :)

Hello, rayuela, welcome! What okcupid market are you in these days? What you had, re asian fetishists, is totally acceptable, even if it wasn't fruitful in the long run. I'm talking more about things like, "I'm good at kissing, so you be good too" or "I'm looking for a sensual woman who is comfortable with her body and creative in bed." it's like, we haven't even met yet and you're dictating what you expect from me physically? Though it does work as a good negative screen. I kind of suggest a lot of ridiculous things in the "you should message me if" section, but it's largely tongue in cheek. I tried to make my profile wordy and obtuse enough so that people wouldn't just message me and say omg hi how r u? but I guess there's no protection against that.

Thanks! By market do you mean area? I'm in NY.

I have definitely seen the "comfortable w/body & creative in bed" before and it always makes me laugh. These are the kinds of things that save me from having to figure out whether I might like them or not.

Oh no! Competition! :)

Is there a man alive who wouldn't appreciate the type of woman outlined above? I don't think it's something you can specify though. That type of screening should come later.

I have a new plan for dealing with the rejection of people who don't write me back. I'm going to assume that the obvious intelligence in my well-worded e-mail intimidated them.

Haha. Yay, fellow NYer!

I had plans w/someone today but we mutually cancelled in favor of staying in due to snow! I'm pretty happy with that.

]Oh, anyway, we should be watching the world series together. Mookie, when are you going to invite laurel and I over for a house party? I was planning to watch in my living room, but my roommate is watching twilight. Mookie, did you have your date? How did it go? You are so reticent.

― Virginia Plain, Friday, October 28, 2011 9:51 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark

if i am not also invited i will be very cross!

to the house party, i mean. i only live a few blocks away and i don't want to miss laurel and mary in my neighborhood.

but of course!

sorry about yr skullcap

Ok, we have to throw a NYC commiseration okc party. Prizes go to the person who's had the worst date.

Had a purely friend date tonite--the shining & beers. I was so much happier when I was blissfully single and not looking...how do I get back to that state?

but of course!

sorry about yr skullcap

my costume failure was very sad but it was also crappy and snowy out so i wasn't that upset. </elderly>

there is always next year?

I got a bait and switch: I gave my # for texting purposes and he called and left a message. His name is Avi; maybe it will be like a J-date.

^^^^I am getting a good vibe here

His voice message sounded totally sweet, so I wasn't even apprehensive about calling back, which I did...to find no answer (fine) and no answering message...just ring ring ring. What, is his phone line plugged into his dial-up computer or something?

Haha. He might be the last person in the US to have a landline & no answering machine. Sounds like a good dude though!

I've decided I'm being totally unnecessarily neurotic about this whole thing and I'm going to just go on tons of dates & see what sticks.

He might be the last person in the US to have a landline & no answering machine

are you dating dr morbius?

Haha, I wish. Dream date.

Rayuela, that was my previous strategy but I got burned out with guys being all clueless and needy.

I thought the dude said we were going to text but maybe that was all part of his ruse.

The JDate response so far is not encouraging. I am ok with dating older, but the guys who are messaging me are a LOT older.

an irl cute person tried to chat me up when i was having lunch by myself today (we were sitting next to each other at the bar) and we had a casual conversation about books and movies, but then it became awkward when we had both finished lunch and i was like ooookay well it was nice meeting you and hoped he would ask for my number but instead he ...shook my hand. then i said "i come here often!" and it was like the stupidest think i could have said!

clearly i have 0 game without this internet stuff.

the stupidest thing, not think. i clearly have no typing skills when phone posting, either.

No but that's adorable!

I bet you he goes there right after work tomorrow.

^^^

My hairdresser, who I believe you were instrumental in introducing me to, told me that right after joining okc things started happening for her IRL. Though sometimes I wonder if the reason people aren't talking to each other IRL is because they are so busy internet dating.

Talked to my mother last night. One of the things she wanted to know was whether I had met any nice young men yet. Oh moms.

I still get asked that every once in a while (except it's if I've met a nice young woman, of course). I can't wait for the day when I say something like "I have, actually! Her name is Adam"

<3 <3 stevie

I saw an ad for JDate on TV today and thought of you guys.

I've started searching everywhere, instead of just in NYC, out of boredom. Result: someone in Boston chose me. I could rate him back, but I only give 5 stars to my personal friends.

I thought the badge/reward system was to recognize friends and the stars were to tell the system who you might be a match with? I know it adjusts who it recommends based on how you've done star ratings.

I mean, if you want to date your friends, that's cool.

Rayuela, that was my previous strategy but I got burned out with guys being all clueless and needy.

Yeah. It's just become near impossible for me to tell by these profiles and short conversations whether I might actually like someone or not. I've gone on dates where by their profile & our conversations, I was excited, but as soon as we met, it was like torture. So I've decided that my brain is trying to sabotage me and I need to confuse it by going out with a bunch of people.

I don't even know if I have a date tonight. We said ok let's meet, then I said I'm free Tuesday, and he messaged me only his phone number without any accompanying text like "great let's meet on Tuesday, give me a call" or anything. Is this normal?

Also, Virginia Plain, how do you exchange #s just for texting? Do you send it with a message saying this number is only for texting?

Oy the guy who said "Please be reasonably fit and good looking, I know everyone wants that, but I think it's good to just say it" who is sticking his bird chest out funny in his pic, and who seems to have rearranged his face into a permanent sneer.

Nothing against bird-like rib cages, please note. Solely as applied to this guy.

i have no problem with bird-like rib cages, or non bird-like rib cages, but one of my biggest problems with this site is that the schlubbiest nerds feel entitled to be really picky about womens' looks. actually this true of the entire internet (i.e. that lindsay lohan thread).

You might not want to click on the thread entitled "ws2011."

yeahhhhhhh i think i'll be avoiding that one.

fuck dudes.

seriously.

/marc loi

I don't even know if I have a date tonight. We said ok let's meet, then I said I'm free Tuesday, and he messaged me only his phone number without any accompanying text like "great let's meet on Tuesday, give me a call" or anything. Is this normal?

No, that's not normal.Or not nice I should say.

Not to go too off topic, but the last time I looked at that Lohan thread the people speaking most to her appearance were women and gay men

If someone give you five stars and you give them five stars in return, it sends you both a message that you like each other. I only do that to friends. Should I branch out? I don't feel comfortable rating strangers.

Laurel, I think that bird-like-chest guy wants to meet me in Columbus Circle(?)

Rayuela, I usually message back and forth a few times with someone, make some sort of plan, and then at the closing stages, send over my phone number, in a "any problems, let me know" sort of way.

Also true of 4 stars

Oh, is it 5 stars--you are totally into each other and 4 stars--what does it tell you?

Columbus Circle, what the hell? Are there bars there?

I was gonna say the same thing

I'll check on "be fit and pretty" guy at lunch and msg you to see if it's same one. He gave me enough stars that the site sent me a msg but I was planning to ignore it.

do you ever get a reciprocal good rating (ie you each give each other four or five stars) with no further attempt at follow-up conversation? that's happened with me a few times.