Innocuous things that make you irrationally angry (a list thread)

It turns out she was "saving a place" in the queue for her husband and his bloody massive trolley of stuff.

pretty sure this is actually illegal

Guantanamo-able, I reckon.

even better if the husband was doubling down in another queue, where she could join *him* if he got to the front first.

I'm amazed and made IA by the number of people who (and the frequency with which they do it) say to me, "Wow, you've lost weight!", when my weight hasn't changed in at least 5 years. Obviously I register in people's memories as a big fat lump.

Maybe you just have, in their minds, a "big" personality?

My IA is the tendency for people to say Euro over Euros, when referring to an amount. Do you say dollar or pound or yen? Well, maybe you do say yen, but still.

Man, I hate that weight thing. I usually say something ornery like "Oh no! I hope not!" or "You're right! I'd better have pie for lunch before this gets too out of hand."

I get that a lot, even though I have weighed the same thing for about five years, too. I think it's because people want to compliment me but their broken little brains can't think of something nice to say about how a fat person looks other than to suggest that I've lost weight. Not to say that the same goes for you, JM. That's just my theory for me. Also my coworkers are almost universally cretinous boobs with no social skills.

Some people say pound singular

I don't like people who leave long voicemail messages asking you to do them a very big favor the next week (like watch their kids), then never get back to you with confirmation before the day arrives. And then you finally reach them and ask what's up, and they say, oh, sorry, I flaked, I figured it out myself/got someone else to do it.

they are thinking about changing BST / GMT again. every fucking 6 months they say this and nothing ever happens. wish they'd shut up.

That's such a permanent peeve on my part (moving daylight savings/summer time around) that I hardly bother to mention it anymore.

People who take up tables in crowded restaurants at peak lunch hour rushes to have "meetings", but can't be bothered to actually purchase anything from said restaurant. I had to duck into a Panera yesterday between meetings and the place was packed, and I was left waiting for like 10+ minutes for a table to open up. Which, normally, nbd, but I was getting increasingly IA at these four ladies taking up two 4-person tables because they all had laptops out, but not one of them had anything from Panera in front of them from the time I got there to the time I left. Three of the four actually had Starbucks coffee with them!

why didn't the staff kick them out?

That's so weird. Don't they have an office. Your IA is justified.

why didn't the staff kick them out?

Thats what I don't get either. I mean, I've seen this before but usually when the place is slow later in the evening, but this was a super packed lunch hour. I'm guessing either the staff didn't know or care, or it was the store's manager... I don't know. Just annoying as all get out.

Waking up at 6:30 am and it's still dark. We need to abolish daylight savings time.

Getting off work at 5:30 and it's already dark. We need to make DST year-around.

I cut the packet where it says to—on the dotted line with the little scissors icon—yet it remains sealed! Gah! Have to go through ALL that again and cut lower. Quit wasting my life, packet makers!

This whole day is kind of a shit show for reasons both innocuous and and nocuous, but the thing that has totally set me off today is that a friend of mine retweeted a bunch of "#smallchange" tweets from Occupy Chicago, which is this sanctimonious, wholistic version of the "Ten Simple Things You Can Do to Save the Environment" commandments. Actual tweets include "Embrace diversity" and "Read more" and "Take shorter showers" and "Build a better community" and "Use paper instead of styrofoam" and homeschool your children (because yeah, I could totally quit working to homeschool a child, no fucking problem).

The "Ten Simple Things You Can Do" directives piss me off in general because this mindset puts the burden on the individual to fix institutional problems caused by governmental fuckery or the greed of giant corporations, which cannot be solved by taking one's own cloth bags to the grocery store, when what we should be doing (instead of crocheting our own coffee cup sleeves (nb: I have my own coffee cup sleeve that I crocheted myself)) is demanding accountability from these corporations and governments, developing a movement and demanding to be heard, occupying public spaces and refusing to move until we see actual, real institutional change instead of... HEY WAIT A MINUTE.

A few years ago the main water company for our area was revealed to have some ridiculous percentage of water lost through leaks. Its idea of a smooth PR response to this was to put signs up on the buses saying "Save water by not leaving the tap running when you brush your teeth!" which made me IA on the bus every morning.

There've been a few burst water mains round here recently and if you ring them up they're all "thank you for reporting this, we are aware of the situation" and then it takes over a week of the main road being under 2" of water still bubbling out of the ground for anyone to come and fix it, so fuck them and their toothbrushing-nannying.

(breathes)

"Save water by brushing your teeth in our burst mains."

Hahaha

Getting off work at 5:30 and it's already dark. We need to make DST year-around.

OTM more than anything else has ever been OTM

Jenny please email me to tell me who that friend is.

Protest placards with internet memes on them.

http://i.imgur.com/BFigJ.jpg

internet memes in general make me irrationally angry

people who CYCLE THEIR BIKES ON THE PAVEMENT. god i hate them, to the point that i now say "cycle on the road!" angrily every time one literally crosses my path.

Started doing that myself. Probably part of a slippery slope that ends with yelling at clouds

I'm kind of sympathetic, depending on the circumstances. My street is terrifying for cycling, although people do it all the time. Two lanes, fast traffic, parked cars on both sides. It's like a recipe for getting doored or just mowed down by an angry motorist. Seeing people ride on this street gives me anxiety so I welcome sidewalk riders (there aren't that many, surprisingly).

I do get peeved at people who ride bikes on the sidewalk and then shout/ring their bells at me to move out of their way. Hey, I'm walking here!

Fuck cyclists on the sidewalk. Scooters could get doored too, but you wouldn't want them on the sidewalk either.

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lol truth bomb

Actual tweets include "Embrace diversity" and "Read more" and "Take shorter showers" and "Build a better community" and "Use paper instead of styrofoam" and homeschool your children (because yeah, I could totally quit working to homeschool a child, no fucking problem).

How in the shite is changing to home schooling any kind of "small change" wtf.

I know, right?

I still want to know who was sending those messages.

I was going to post the following, but it was post-ILX blackout and my bookmarks were fucked up, so I emailed this to Jenny, but I still hate this lady, so I'm sharing w/ you all.

I was standing at the front of the line for the file-stamp machine and depository at state court and this little shit creeps up slowly beside me, and then past me. When I looked at her she made a cutsie face and squeaked "Ooh! I just need to file this" and gave me a shit eating smile. I said, "That's what we're ALL in line for." She cooed in an obnoxious Midwestern flat accent, "Well, I just hafta get this filed, so..." and then she marched up to the machine and interrupted the guy who was stamping and filing his document and filed hers. As she walked out she said smiled at me and said "OK, thanks so much. You have a NICE weekend."

Fucking entitled asshole. I kept my mouth shut bc if I don't turn her into stew tonight, I might one day have to work with her or need something from her. Hddjdjddjsskaakdicubgy

It would be sort of annoying, but understandable if she had said, "Excuse me, I am in a huge rush" and even bothered to make up some lie like "I'm in a hearing the judge is waiting for a file-stamped copy, so could I please cut in line?"

that's a micro level version of the 1%'s "i'm just gonna start this shell corp in the cayman islands and not pay any taxes on it, sooooooo, thanks so much, america!"

In the 80s I read in Readers' Digest's "Humor: The Best Medicine" a bit about a woman jumping the line at the grocery store. She justified herself by saying "I just have this one can of dog food," and the person she cut in front of said, "No problem, you're obviously really hungry."

I pulled up in the alley of my kids' daycare where there are a limited amount of spaces. Of course there's this Chevy Lake Tahoe F-180 SUV taking up a space and a half. I find a space anyway, get out, and see a dude just sitting there in the driver's seat. "You taking up enough spaces with that thing?" I say to him through the open window. He just kinda shrugs and says "I guess I am."

Whatever. I'm about to see my kids for the first time in nine hours and I got my space. I pick them up and we walk past the SUV to get to our car. Hank is making some noise and I'm trying to shut him up when I see dude staring at me. I don't make eye contact because I'm a confident man like that and finally he says (again?) "your son just threw his pacifier down on the ground."

I say thanks and pick up the pacifier. I hate it when an asshole in-debts me into a favor.

I hate ppl who change the tone of a conversation for the benefit of bystanders. Like they're suddenly your light entertainment & they're waiting for you to notice &/or laugh.
Coworkers seem to do this in the breakroom, & if anything it makes
me try even harder to ignore them. Just say hello, ffs. Or don't.

Add teenage girls in public places who do that a lot--overacted shrieking laughter, exaggerated gestures, all for the benefit of the audience of passers-by

Yes. Drama camp teenagers! Sometimes I find it endearing, bc I remember doing the same thing...but mostly as a grouchy grownup I don't care for it.

Haha yeah, this is a good one. I think there's a special accent that drama camp teenagers use too.

I really can't stand being flatly contradicted without any attempted justification by someone who's already talking too much. Eg:

The other person: 'Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah etc etc etc'.

Me: 'Blah blah'.

The other person: 'No, that's wrong. Anyway blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah etc etc.'

Get to the bus stop/Muni station, look at the electronic sign to see when the next bus is:
"Muni passengers: please be aware
... the front seats must be vacated for seniors or people with disabilities...."

Hmmm I wonder how long til the next bus, or should I just walk.

"...get in the habit of taking a transfer for a cash fare...
... it serves as your proof of payment...."

"... Sunday streets returns!....
...[date of Sunday just passed]..."

WHEN'S THE NEXT F***ING BUS

"...WATCH THIS SPACE...
...it will tell you when the next Muni is arriving..."

*head explodes*

STAY TUNED...
FOR THE NEXT THRILLING INSTALLMENT...
OF WHERE IS THE...
FUCKING BUS...

I hate ppl who change the tone of a conversation for the benefit of bystanders. Like they're suddenly your light entertainment & they're waiting for you to notice &/or laugh.

Guy I work with does this in the most irritatingly brobvious way. "Blah blah I'm conversating...OH HERE COMES TARFUMES! HE KNOWS WHAT I'M TALKIN' ABOUT!"

Shut the fuck up, no I don't, nor do I want to.

Ooh. Another related IA is the people who hover around a conversation and will jump in like it's a game of double dutch and suddenly you're no longer having the conversation you wanted have with the person you wanted to talk to you, you're stuck in this other conversation with the hoverer. There's a guy who sits a few cubicles up from me, who I generally like, but he is a SERIAL hoverer and I'm always like aagggggh get me out of here.

Ack. I sometimes have a habit of being Betty Buttinski at work convos, but cmon, you stand near my cubicle having an overly-loud chat, I'm gonna join in.

Some stations on the CTA have electronic signs that announce the time till the next train. Some constantly show a list, but most are smaller and most of the time they scroll these messages:

THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 3, 2011/TIME: 3:02 P.M./IS YOUR CHICAGO CARD OR CHICAGO CARD PLUS EXPIRING? VISIT WWW.TRANSITCHICAGO.COM TO FIND OUT

THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 3, 2011/TIME: 3:02 P.M./IS YOUR CHICAGO CARD OR CHICAGO CARD PLUS EXPIRING? VISIT WWW.TRANSITCHICAGO.COM TO FIND OUT

THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 3, 2011/TIME: 3:02 P.M./IS YOUR CHICAGO CARD OR CHICAGO CARD PLUS EXPIRING? VISIT WWW.TRANSITCHICAGO.COM TO FIND OUT

THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 3, 2011/TIME: 3:02 P.M./IS YOUR CHICAGO CARD OR CHICAGO CARD PLUS EXPIRING? VISIT WWW.TRANSITCHICAGO.COM TO FIND OUT

THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 3, 2011/TIME: 3:02 P.M./IS YOUR CHICAGO CARD OR CHICAGO CARD PLUS EXPIRING? VISIT WWW.TRANSITCHICAGO.COM TO FIND OUT

and if you don't blink, you catch a rare and fleeting sighting of useful info

1: BL O'HARE 5 MIN
2: BL FOREST PARK 4 MIN

xp

A static sign would be perfect to convey the fucking message "IS YOUR CHICAGO CARD OR CHICAGO CARD PLUS EXPIRING? VISIT WWW.TRANSITCHICAGO.COM TO FIND OUT" Christ almighty.

Another related IA is the people who hover around a conversation and will jump in like it's a game of double dutch and suddenly you're no longer having the conversation you wanted have with the person you wanted to talk to

THIS FUCKING THIS