Just when you thought it was safe - OK CUPID PART 3: The Return of the WOO!

I don't think so!

I must admit I am sometimes thinking the same thought when I contact people who have looked at my profile. But I would never phrase things that way (You rejected me).

Rayuela, why did things not go well when you contacted guys in NY?

as a woman on this site you get all sorts of harassing messages - once i received a message from someone, looked at their profile, and the wrote back, didn't reply, and five minutes later the guy wrote me back this scathing, mean tirade about how ugly i was.

and people will just write me out of the blue with "negs" from everything to my looks to my cat (crazy cat lady, so original!)

i honestly don't know why i still have a profile on this site.

So this week:
- A girl who works at a coffeeshop I go to and is a friend of friends walked into a bar I was at, where I was celebrating a female friend's b-day. Female friend was like "hey, that girl is cute" and I mentioned how I sort of knew her.
- Same girl has now shown up on okcupid and looked at my admittedly godawful, unmaintained profile
- Do I send message? wtf

I wonder if my one picture that includes a cat brands me as a crazy cat man

'and five minutes later the guy wrote me back this scathing, mean tirade about how ugly i was.'

Just wondering: can't you report that to a moderator?

if only there were an irl moderator to whom one could report things

or site admin...

What's worse is that I've had a few people "Save me as a favorite" - and I've written them, and they never respond. What gives?! I THOUGHT I WAS A FAVORITE.

I just don't know about online dating sometimes. It seems I'll meet someone and they're well read and articulate and interesting, but there's no physical attraction. Either that, or there's physical attraction from one party toward the other, but it's never reciprocated. At least when I meet people in person the mutual attraction is established pretty much straight away - and then I slowly find out all the fucked up shit about them over time, LIKE NORMAL!

Guys why do we do this to ourselves

:(

seriously

i've lived here a year and i'm already sick of dating

Because we don't all live in the same city so we can't hang out w each other all the time so we have to find other people to validate our attractiveness?

just wait 15-20 years, and you won't give a damn. Being alone rules! (in its way)

'and five minutes later the guy wrote me back this scathing, mean tirade about how ugly i was.'

Just wondering: can't you report that to a moderator?

yep, i did, they didn't do anything and he still visits my profile all the time.

they essential don't moderate the site for anything other than inappropriate pictures, which is one of my biggest beefs with the site. you get what you pay for, i guess.

essentially - sorry

wonder if my one picture that includes a cat brands me as a crazy cat man

i am like, 1000x more likely to respond to someone if they have a picture with a cat or dog in a picture.

lol @ eharmony guys looking for "wifey"
i am totally going to add "not wifey" to my profile
have not yet actually subscribed/paid for site tho, so no real communications have been made, and so the fence, it is where i still am

getting used to the idea of dating has been good though, and i find myself being more flirty irl. hm.

I am so anti-eharmony in general b/c the founder is a right-wing slimeball who has donated to Focus on the Family and lived in their pocket until it became inconvenient for his service to be branded as "religious" because it wasn't reaching a big enough market.

But I mean I also buy commercially farmed chicken thighs at the local Super Foodland so you gotta pick your battles.

hah, yeah, i feel the same way about eharmony but i also ate at chick-fil-a last weekend :/

i'm guessing it was a saturday

I know you can "hide" people from your own search on OKCupid, but can you block them also? You can on match.com

you can block people from messaging you but not from looking at your profile.

chik-fil-a is delicious and I use the excess grease to give another man a greasy handjob

well, not really, but I tell the people who put religious notes in the bags at the store that I do

i am going to wear a rainbow poncho and my shortest jorts next time i eat there

I'm restoring my account just to look at this shit.

My account still exists, and my "details" and photos are up, but every other field has been blanked. Bother.

Crepe-Suzette fyi

oh is eharmony guy the anti-abortion guy? aaagh! so basically i need to just go meet people irl now

Oh hm I don't know if he's the anti-abortion guy? They are all anti-abortion guys, iirc? He's a Christian conservative, for sure.

there are unfortunately many, that's true
yeah, someone told me that eharmony was originally christian-ish but became more open and spiritual-ish and so now the christians have their own online dating sites. but i do not really know! i just don't want any of my money going to right-wing fundamentalists.

is there an occupy wall street online dating borad yet

JDATE! JDATE! JDATE!

Unless you hate jews or something.

but i'm not jewish!
i once met a super cute guy who was on a jdate with someone i knew, which did not work out, but i srsly contemplated jdate for a while there...

I am also not jewish!

Nor is my husband. . . whom I met on JDate!

JDate!

Hahahah quince.

Are there gays on jdate?

Rayuela, why did things not go well when you contacted guys in NY?

― curmudgeon, Thursday, October 27, 2011 3:02 PM (2 hours ago)

Ppl I would message would either not reply or turn out to be very bad dates, and I took it as a sign that I should wait for the men to flock to me. :)

I recently tried to proactively search for people again, and I think everyone I was finding decently cute was actually pretentious, and I gave up. It's hard to tell the difference on these sites.

I am also not jewish!

Nor is my husband. . . whom I met on JDate!

JDate!

― quincie, Thursday, October 27, 2011 7:06 PM (11 minutes ago) Bookmark

irl loling <3

I can barely stand to read the personal descriptions so far? Have just skimmed a couple but I have a bad feeling I'm not going to like the ones that that're all like "On Friday nights I like to jaunt through all boroughs of this great grey city in search of sublime adventure, while thinking about authenticity and polishing my cordovan oxfords."

looool someone says "I'm not really a big eater." That must be very difficult for you what with the ever-present threat of starvation and all.

stevie: yes, because i knew a bunch of goy gays who signed up for it so they could date cute jewish boys

do you love life and love to laugh? i sure don't.

this revelation about jdate is kind of blowing my mind!
is being a non-jew and being on jdate even fair?? do you straight up say, hey, i'm not jewish but all the other dating sites suck and jdate rules, so...

lol mooks
i mean non-lol

I can barely stand to read the personal descriptions so far? Have just skimmed a couple but I have a bad feeling I'm not going to like the ones that that're all like "On Friday nights I like to jaunt through all boroughs of this great grey city in search of sublime adventure, while thinking about authenticity and polishing my cordovan oxfords."

i get some hilarious messages like this...including one inviting me to a steampunk haunted house!

I totally grappled with the "is it OK for me to be on JDate?" thing, but figured that it wasn't my goddamn fault I was born to a non-Jewish mother, y'know? And I've been an active student of the faith for a handful of years. . . anyhow, when a Conservative rabbi I had studied with gave me a thumbs up, I figured that was sufficient clearance.

As for Mr. Quincie, he had been on match.com several years back and had not found it very promising. He was then in a LTR with a russian jew he met in person; after the end of that relationship and on the recommendation of some friends, he decided to throw his lot in with the Jews. And ended up with me, oops!

Anyhow, my JDate experience was uniformly positive, though I only went out with three dudes. One was a perfectly fine fellow, but no chemistry; one I went out with a couple of times and is totally awesome, but did not continue because of guy number three, who I am head over heels for despite the goy thing :)

> "is it OK for me to be on JDate?" thing, but figured that it wasn't my goddamn fault I was born to a non-Jewish mother, y'know?

Your religious faith is determined by what you believe, not what you mother believed