Does the entire Innocent Smoothies aesthetic strike you as deeply fucking irritating?

http://www.abccopywriting.com/blog/2011/10/10/wackywriting-cult-of-innocent/

I detect the unmistakable whiff of the advertising professional. "As a middle-aged straight guy buying specialist kit, I want to feel that my chosen product is technically robust, professionally made and packed with practical features." I mean, who says this? Also, tl;dr

Some good links, though

If you want a vision of the future, imagine our silly old wellies squishing and squashing the face of a tiny lickle baby for quite a long time. Yummy!

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Yeah that chimes w/this, which is OTM:

I guess we all have days when we’d like to return to our childhoods, which accounts for the disarming appeal of wackywriting. But growing up isn’t all sunnyshine and wowwipops. It’s also a time of total dependence, fear and confusion – and, overridingly, a time of being told what to do. One way or another, a child spends most of their time being controlled.

As Nick points out, copywriting is not a one-on-one conversation between equals. A brand – a business – is ‘speaking’ to a mass audience of actual and potential customers. Rather than a conversation, copywriting is more like ‘a monologue conducted above a million solitudes’, as Albert Camus defined dictatorship. That’s why we can’t really ‘talk’ to a brand, any more than we can talk to a film or a book.

A brand speaks unilaterally, and it does so to achieve a clearly defined outcome. The tone of voice or the visual style may do a very good job of obscuring it, but that’s the underlying mechanic. Like the parent, the brand speaks in order to control.

...

Wackywriting embodies the dilemma of the liberal middle classes: material privilege, and unease over that privilege, glossed over with affected bohemianism and faux-naïveté. Hopelessly compromised by power and possessions, we long to return to the garden, but can’t pass through the eye of the needle. We’re guilty, but we wish we were, yes, innocent.

Remember Smartfood? I loved that shit but I think they have a lot to answer for.

innocentdrinks

Whether you believe in Blue Monday or not, here's a raccoon holding a kitten to start your week on a positive pic.twitter.com/Fn0KKOff

Fn0KKOff

it's like the url shortener was deeply fucking irritated

http://innocentdrinks.typepad.com/innocent_drinks/2012/01/your-words-on-our-bottoms.html#comments

posted

How does it feel / to tweet me like you do?

a massive wagon of disgrace

yasss

innocentdrinks

If you like what we do on twitter please tweet @SocialBrands100 with #sb100 to give us a vote. In return we will polish your shoes.

innocentdrinks

@MelFunky really sorry to hear that Mel. We've done our best to make something everyone will enjoy - sorry it wasn't your cup of tea

innocentdrinks

Tumbleweeds at the ready... Which computer is best at singing? A Dell. Sorry.

innocentdrinks

@Jonk87 email he✧✧✧@innocentdri✧✧✧.c✧.u✧ with a few more details. Please put 'LET JOE KNOW ABOUT THIS EMAIL' as a subject title

innocentdrinks

A mention on Charlie Brooker. Get in

He probably called them tossers and then sneered.

LET JOE KNOW ABOUT THIS BRAND MENTION IN THE MAINSTREAM MEDIA

#sb102 morelike

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if i ever decide it's time to do a Michael Ryan i know who i'm going after

om nom nom! noodle is going to massacre his hunger with domino's yummy new dessert options

wait, domino's like the pizza?

guessing that quote's from a domino's mailout or similar?

innocent drinks ‏ @innocentdrinks

@danwalkerbbc good lad. He always was a dab hand with scissors. Big fan of your football focus banter by the way. Keep it up

jesus

that is just

thinking of setting up a twitter feed to just retweet moronic uses of the word "banter"

have we spoken abt dan walker & how hateful he is

i think it's been mentioned sort of, on the football threads. he is like the poster boy for some vague new movement of awfulness that i can't quite define but basically involves #banter, puns on Twitter, football, and shit music.

he is always 'irreverent' in the most timid way, pathologically unserious

banter, #getinvolved

http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/football/17325398

i like how he slouches out of frame 37s in

noel gallagher being on football focus is like a watershed for the walkerite movement

fucking hell, 3/4 mins in noel asks "where are your ancestors from"

The second was in 2002 on Adam Cole's Key 103 afternoon show, where, as Cosmic Dave, Walker took on the persona of a sham psychic and spiritualist, who physically abused his oompa-loompa assistant and fluffed even basic attempts at reading the minds of listeners and the host, before eventually being tracked down to his 'deep secret underground bureau' by the Oompa Loompa Protection Front and apparently dying. The segments were something of a success (being nominated for a New York Radio Award) and were discussed and replayed on other shows on the network, with Cosmic Dave's 'death' prompting over 2,500 messages on the station's website. However, Walker's diversification into comedy would end with his move into television.

dudes who've obviously edited their own wikipedia entry amirite?

just gonna leave this here: http://www.lordsday.co.uk/Dan%20Walker.htm

think i mentioned that before actually, there used to be vague tittering about it in sport meetings. i'm sure one time j pearse said something about someone being "crucified" and crooks or someone was like "lucky dan's not here"

Crooks' Crucifix Cracks

is it just my anti-religious prejudice or does that article give off the vibe that something damaging has happened to dan?

#happyclappyLAD

i'm not anti-religious it's just fucking evangelists i hate

#archbishopofbanterbury

There are certain jobs I have to turn down and certain subjects I feel uncomfortable with

just gonna assume this means he's a homophobe

why does he hang out with unrepentant sinner noel gallagher?

The church, the corporate worship of God, and the preaching of the Word are three of the main things Satan aims to undermine in the lives of Christians.

ah fuck we've got another Icke in the offing

what is "the corporate worship of god"

The Bible is split into two parts – the Old Testament and the New Testament. We believe that every word of each is wholly God-breathed. We believe that, in its original language, the Bible is

The Word of God

Without error

Wholly reliable

The Bible has ultimate authority on all matters – it has the final say over all that we believe and all that we do as a church. It is never out of date.

definitely a fucking homophobe then

xp

in that sense i think it means "regular attendance at a church"