WHO THE FUCK READS THE DAILY EXPRESS?

"Why I'm backing the Health Lottery" = "They paid me to" end story.

She was engaged to Damian Aspinall, owner of Aspers, an entertainment company, until July 2007. Their daughter Freya Air Aspinall was born in Westminster, London in 2003.[2] Air and Aspinall are no longer a couple.[3] Prior to their breakup the couple caused a stir by announcing their intention to place their baby daughter in the care of a gorilla in a ritual Aspinall's older children had already taken part in.

Damian Aspinall's dad was eaten by a lion, some people never learn.

Aspy rubes.

I don't know about you all, but I'm OUTRAGED at how SHOCKING a higher calorie limit is.

Another 'allegation repeated as fact' headline from the Express.

http://news.sky.com/sky-news/content/StaticFile/jpg/2011/Oct/Week2/16089494.jpg

NOW BUILD YOURSELF AN IGLOO OUT OF CURRY AND FIREWORKS

snow on the cairngorms where all the daily express readers live

Curry, fireworks, whinging about the cold = shameless pandering to their beloved Asian readers.

http://news.sky.com/sky-news/content/StaticFile/jpg/2011/Oct/Week4/16094332.jpg

JUST THINK OF HOW YOUR MONEY COULD HAVE BEEN SAVED HAD AUNTIE TAKEN ADVANTAGE OF THE CRUSADER'S GENEROUS THERMOS FLASK, CURRY FIREWORKS AND MULTI-VITAMIN TABLET OFFERS

How AMAZING is the sports pullout really, I wonder?

http://news.sky.com/sky-news/content/StaticFile/jpg/2011/Oct/Week4/16094781.jpg

FREE RAIN FOR EVERY READER

Ooh, tories to vote for referendum, step towards them voting for leaving the EU.

All nostalgic for the old Major Govt, specifically the last days of it...

Torrential rain and gale-force winds are set to bring travel chaos and potentially devastating floods from tonight, forecasters warned.

Britain will be lashed by a “very serious” weather system which could see almost a month’s rain in a matter of hours.

Experts warned that gusts of 60mph today would be enough to fell branches and cause damage to buildings with “severe flooding” likely across parts of the country.

Devastation on a par seen in the Cornish village of Boscastle in 2004 is likely, when flash floods turned roads into rivers trapping people in their homes and destroying buildings.

Downpours of almost four inches threaten to hit the West, the North and the South-west, including Devon and Cornwall.

Jonathan Powell, senior forecaster at Positive Weather Solutions, said heavy rain and gales could last for weeks.

He said: “We are looking at a possible disaster and the sort of scenario reminiscent of Boscastle.

One every two days for the past month.

**From Monday September 26th to Saturday October 1st 2011, PWS was quoted every single day in the Daily Express, with a front page on Friday September 30th. Furthermore, from Saturday September 24th to Tuesday October 4th, PWS was quoted in the Daily Express in 9 out of those 11 editions with two front pages.

from http://www.positiveweathersolutions.co.uk/PWS---The-Company.php

Both the Mail and the Express use them. Possibly because 1) they frequently forecast vs. the Met (bloody socialist dogooders) and 2) they're (or rather Jonathon Powell - who seems to be PWS) is a climate change sceptic.

http://www.positiveweathersolutions.co.uk/UN-Climate-Change-Conference,-Copenhagen---Statement-.php

The 'facts' simply don't add up, and are riddled with mere speculative conjecture. They are also open to interpretation, which in simple terms, makes for a jumbled mass of statistics...

A bit like reading the Express but not quite as bad.

Is it just me but do several of their forecasters look related?
http://www.positiveweathersolutions.co.uk/index.php
(bottom of page)

From the people who brought you TOP SECRET HATS and a lovely rental villa in Florida.

xp it's the round faces
http://www.positiveweathersolutions.co.uk/images/JonathanPowell2.jpghttp://www.positiveweathersolutions.co.uk/images/CupofCoffee.jpg

Poor guy on the right only has one ear :(

that's good, it makes him deaf to accusations of climate change denial.

I am not one to belittle one's company because they are based in a small terraced house in Ebbw Vale, and maybe behind that (perfectly respectable) exterior lies a hub of complex weather monitoring equipment and computers doing big sums, but it sure is a surprisigly small operation...

http://maps.google.co.uk/maps?q=NP23+6LJ&hl=en&ll=51.783958,-3.212085&spn=0.000027,0.02738&hnear=Ebbw+Vale,+Gwent+NP23+6LJ,+United+Kingdom&gl=uk&t=h&z=16&vpsrc=0&layer=c&cbll=51.78378,-3.211489&panoid=f4I_PuHskjT1RhPdXhqATA&cbp=12,183.78,,0,3.56

satellite view not quite showing this on the roof
http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2675/3974543539_d3856ffd85.jpg

IS "TopSecretHats.com" an advertiser or a customer?

TopSecretHatEtiquette

8. Hat Etiquette

Hat etiquette is a cause of many a heated discussion! It is traditionally considered good manners......

• to remove your hat for funeral processions
• to remove your hat during the national anthem
• for men to tip their hats (raise the hat or touch the front brim) when greeting women
• for men to remove their hats when talking to women although they can replace it if walking with them or in bad weather!
• for men to remove their hats when inside a building, especially in church and even in a lift/elevator if there is a lady present!
• for men to carry their hats with the lining facing inwards so that the outside of the crown is showing

Fuck washing a hat!Nowadays, the only time some men remove their hat is during a security check at the airport! However, many ladies still appreciate good manners, so if you're looking to charm then follow the rules above when you can!

http://i.imgur.com/Iwk0o.jpg

WIN M&S VOUCHERS WORTH £1,000 less than vouchers worth £1,100 given away away by the Daily Mail

CRAVEN MPs

'Strictly's Threat to X Factor', along with other up-to-the-minute news like 'Magna Carta signed in Runnymede'

http://i.imgur.com/18iWu.jpg

FREE FAWLTY TOWERS DVD FOR EVERY READER

They are fucking mad.

Would feel sorry for the poor hack made to go and camp 'at home of St Paul's protester' if I didn't think working for the Express automatically disqualifies you from such sympathy.

Taking care not to cause any damage, and with the upmost respect for the neighbours, Wilkinson was striking a blow for the Daily Express’s “Boot Them Out” crusade, aimed at ridding a rabble who succeeded where Hitler failed in closing the Cathedral.

Following up on Boulton's 'you're just like the Nazi's' jibe I presume.

Should have phrased it as "numbers of protestors descending on St Paul's on a scale not witnessed since WWII".

A pedant writes: As any Londoner will tell you St. Pauls did close in WW2 when they had to remove an unexploded bomb from the grounds.

Anyway the Express 'crusade' worked as the Cathedral is opening tomorrow (is I'm sure is how they will report it).

Imagine, members of the media camping out outside members of the public's houses that for some reason are in the public eye.

Imagine that happening.

Richard Desmond's house for example.

http://i.imgur.com/tZ4OL.jpg

PRINCESS REVEALS HER GASH

ew creepy

man if that had maddy it would be like daily express bingo card jackpot

They come over for our jobs, they stay for the quality journalism free lucozade for every reader.

Good thing I read on to page three, otherwise I might have thought she got it from William knocking her about:

Despite being one of the world’s most photographed women, it was only yesterday that the three-inch long operation scar on Kate’s left temple was noticed.

The scar mirrors one William has on his left temple, sustained when he was hit with a golf club when he was 13, although his is jagged while hers is a smooth curve.

Royal aides declined to reveal much about the scar, although they denied that it was the result of a birthmark being removed.

“It’s a scar from a childhood injury,” a St James’s Palace spokesman said. “It was an operation but we’re not prepared to say any more than that.”

OMG Maybe I am Hary Potter as well!

Harry, not hairy.

Hairy Shearers

Told you...

The news that the ancient landmark will reopen its doors to the public marks a swift victory for the Daily Express’s “Boot Them Out!” ­crusade...

...have they actually been 'booted out' Mr Express Man?

swift victory for the Daily Express’s “Boot Them Out!” ­crusade swift victory for the Daily Express’s “Boot Them Out!” ­crusade swift victory for the Daily Express’s “Boot Them Out!” ­crusade swift victory for the Daily Express’s “Boot Them Out!” ­crusade swift victory for the Daily Express’s “Boot Them Out!” ­crusade

Aspirational stuff

London Mayor Boris Johnson joined the calls for the protesters to leave, saying: “In the name of God and Mammon, go.”

o_O invocation of Mammon there, during a protest about greed and wealth.