Innocuous things that make you irrationally angry (a list thread)

Jenny.

What?

- when you try on a pair of shoes that are slightly too big, and they don't have the next size down in stock, and the shop assistant ALWAYS ALWAYS says "yeah but you can just wear in-soles"

I HATE IN-SOLES

People on messageboards about TV shows that say shit like "just ignore the plotholes and stop nitpicking, it's still a really good show, just enjoy it for what it is" - FFS, A REALLY GOOD SHOW WOULDN'T HAVE MASSIVE FUCKING PLOTHOLES IN IT (also, um, you're on a messageboard about the show, where the fuck else are people meant to dissect the plot?)

You should try our Doctor Who threads some time...

The phrase/joek: "'I see,' said the blind man."

Perhaps you prefer the extended dance remix of that phrase my father always used: '"I see,' said the blind man, as he picked up his hammer and saw."

And that ain't awl.

My family heritage is in the " 'I see,' said the blind man to his deaf wife, who wasn't really listening anyway" camp.

"I see, said the blind man who could not speak."

"'Icy', said the blind man when asked what the weather was like."

Thank you, everybody.

Another variation I heard once: "'I see,' said the blind man, as he picked up his hammer and saw, see-saw."

motherfucker.

Blame this poem, which has been around in some form or another since the 19th century:

One bright day in the middle of the night,
Two dead boys got up to fight.
Back to back they faced each other,
drew their swords and shot each other.
A deaf policeman heard the noise
and ran to save the two dead boys.
If you don't believe this lie is true,
ask the blind man, he saw it, too.

My brother's (very horrible) mother-in-law says "I see said the blind man, as he picked up his hammer and saw," all the time. My brother discovered that it vexed her when he changed it to "I see said the blind man, as he picked up his hammer and chainsaw," so that has been how part of my family says it for a while.

Oh man, my uncle used to always make it even more terrible by adding a whole section. "I see said the blind man as he pissed into the wind, 'it's all coming back to me now'".

You know, I live in the only state mentioned in the Bible:

"By the first day of the first month of Noah's six hundred and first year, the water had dried up from the earth. Noah then removed the covering from the ark and saw that the surface of the ground was dry." (Genesis 8:13)

I get so annoyed with people who can't communicate on the phone for various reasons. Current IA is due to a caller who was talking at the level of a whisper. Sometimes I could barely tell she was talking at all, never mind understanding what she was saying. I asked her to speak up and she would say, "Oh, sorry," then be perfectly understandable for a few words, then go back to being inaudible.

Sometimes potential plaintiffs call from their workplaces and they have to be quiet so they don't get caught, so I said that if that was her situation and she needed to call back, she could, but she said she was at home.

Part of my job is to screen potential clients. This caller said she was a medical professional who was the victim of employment discrimination, which culminated in her being fired. When I tried to find out what kind of discrimination, she said, "I told you, it's employment discrimination."

"I understand, but on what basis were you discriminated against?"

"On what basis?? I just told you: they passed me over for promotions, then they fired me!"

"Ma'am, some examples of types of discrimination are race, sex, pregnancy.... do any of those apply?"

Now, I AM NOT MAKING THIS PART UP: "Yes, exactly, race - like I told you, I was in the race for a promotion and they didn't promote me."

I told her that I meant "race" as in ethnicity or national origin, and she said, "Oh. Well, I guess it could've been because of my race.... Also, they retaliated against me because of my race."

It will be interesting to hear what she tells a lawyer. I'm guessing that she is pissed because she got fired and she thinks that some law requires good cause for firing someone, or she thinks that it is illegal for an employer to treat a worker like shit.

I make long posts.

First part reminded me of this at :45
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=On73aHpgdSQ

And when I asked for the name of the employer, she gave me a one-word name that could have meant anything. It would be like saying, "I work at Acme."

Email communication is my IA today.
In particular with smartphone ppl.

I am emailed about a problem. The problem appears to originate with the emailer. I send them specific information to reconfirm, to make sure we are talking about the same thing. They confirm, but I still have a feeling they're not *reading* my info. Four emails later, and calls to other departments reveals they are the source of the screwup. At which point they say oh that thing I confirmed? yeah that's totally wrong.

At which point I load my shotgun.

"Yes, exactly, race - like I told you, I was in the race for a promotion and they didn't promote me."

just want to highlight this for anyone that missed it

I have a bus driver nemesis. She makes me irrationally angry. She drives the bus that goes directly past my house on weekdays before rush hour, so when I have weekdays off, I am often on her bus. How do I know it's the same bus driver?

Well, before she opens the door all the way she snaps, "STEP UP! STEP IN! STEP UP!" After I step up, step in and am in the process of touching my farecard to the reader and she snaps, "STEP ALL THE WAY IN." Then, as she is pulling away from every stop she says, "Standing passengers. Please hold on. Please use your passenger signals." She has a terrible, nasally voice. Whenever she says "Please use your passenger signals" there is a murmur of confusion among bus passengers as they try to figure out what the shit a passenger signal is. It's the cord you pull to signal your stop, btw. I know this because I have ridden her bus enough to have heard multiple people ask her for clarification.

I use my passenger signal in advance of my stop and EVERY TIME she blows past my stop. EVERY. TIME. She ends up letting me off in the middle of the intersection or in the next block. So today I used my passenger signal and then I said, nice and clearly, "I have used my passenger signal for Mystop Street. Please stop the bus." She did and I said, "Attagirl," because I"m an asshole and she is my nemesis.

I sympathize. WTF @ "use your passenger signals":

1. "Passenger signal"???????
2. How obnoxious to hassle people to do something that they would do anyway. It's not even like "Please move to the rear of the bus," which people forget to do, pulling the cord is something that everyone except a confused tourist or mentally disabled person will always do b/c they want to stop.
3. "Passenger signal" sounds like public transit work jargon, so I'm now thinking that she is using it the way police use stilted, formal language like "ascertain" instead of "find out" (can't think of better examples right now) as a show of authority.

I've seen bus drivers blow by stops even when passengers used their passenger signals, and then continue to the next stop because they insisted that the passenger did not pull the cord.

Per number 2, she starts hollering STEP UP STEP IN STEP UP before the door is open, so again, hassling people to do something that they are going to do anyway, ie GET ON THE DAMN BUS. Today she hassled people about stepping up and in as, meanwhile, a couple of shithead tourists blocked the front of the bus with their bodies and their luggage without any comment. I also get irritated at the repetitiveness of it. She always says the same thing. It's like a tic. I hate her.

Now, I AM NOT MAKING THIS PART UP: "Yes, exactly, race - like I told you, I was in the race for a promotion and they didn't promote me."

This is the best thing I read in ages.

Update on the caller from before: I'm relieved to report that it was HER, NOT ME. Just talked to my boss (who was the lawyer who did the phone consultation) who said there were problems determining what kind of discrimination was happening. First, the woman told her that she had no idea because she didn't have EE0C charge form with her - the form on which she would have had to have checked race, color, sex, religion, age, etc. - but she could look at the form and call back.

Then she said that it was "criminal discrimination." My boss asked if she meant that she was discriminated against based on her criminal record. No, what she meant was that since she had filed a charge that the discrimination must be criminal.

Also, she was NOT fired. She conflated "fired" with "not given the job she wanted."

She might be a little crazy, but it seems more like she is just really damn dumb. But somehow she got a job as a para-professional in a hospital, so I don't know what's going on.

So she still works there, just didnt get a promotion? Hahahha! Thats even more priceless.

ia: an e-mail from a recruiter telling me about a job in "los angeles county," with no further info about the location. l.a. county is 4,752.32 square miles.*

*i may have c/p'ed this from wikipedia

Job site accessible by car and other means.

The fact that a lot of makes of DVRs are not capable of allowing for last-minute scheduling changes. No FOX, I did not want to watch 53 minutes of that stupid dinosaur show instead of House tonight. Assholes. #firstworldproblems

I have so many DVR IA's...fucking Surewest DVR box is a piece of garbage. You can tell it what show to record, you can tell it how often to record, but you can't tell it what TIME to record and you can't prioritze recordings so it basically records whatever the fuck it wants. and it might record 2 of the same show on the same day and not record the other show that's on at 3 am that you want.

#firstworldproblems

Huh, the DVR i had programmed by date and time. In fact the EPG in it was useless so thats the only way it would work.

I forgot I set it, and it filled up the HDD with 6pm every night... mostly old simpsons eps and some other weekewnd crap. It was impossible to work out how to delete anything (shitty GUI), I ended up turfing it. Waste of $700 :(

DOnt watch nearly enough tv now to justify getting another one.

How do those things even work, given that all commercial TV seems to run endlessly late? It's not the old days when you'd set your VCR to start 5 minutes early and run 20 mins after the show allegedly finished, just to be sure.

That was actually how I did it with my PVR, I'd start it manually when a show started when I could (defeats purpose, I know, but).

Now, I just say fuckit I'll watch iView.

I watch a lot of telly so DVR is my friend. I just would like one that worked worth a damn.

Now, I just say fuckit I'll watch iView

Definitely, esp. using iView downloader so I can have the shows as MP4s and watch them whenever

headphones that won't stay in your ears

^^ Has been driving my nuts lately. I think the earbuds I have are too big and they keep falling out. It sucks. :(

all earbuds make me IA: they end up either hurting if i push them in far enough to stay, or falling the hell out after .2 seconds. i do not have excessively large ear canals, or oddly shaped ones, so i don't know how the rest of you plebes end up sportin' em so purty.

I went through 3 or 4 sets of cheap, drugstore earbuds this year. There is much to hate about them, but I especially hate how they accumulate my earwax and then put it on display for the world to see if I say, leave my ipod on my desk or something.

plebes have prehensile tragi obv

the ones that are built like little rubber winebottle stoppers work ok, except i suspect they also damage yr hearing

you can get earbuds moulded to the shape of your ears. expensive though.

but you can also diy:
http://makeprojects.com/Project/Custom-Fit-Earbuds/199/

or, if you are really cheap you can (mis)use silly putty:
http://androidforums.com/incredible-accessories/179078-make-your-own-custom-molded-earbuds-15-a.html

(makes me think of hopi ear candles but lets not go there, again)

(fwiw i use £16 sennheisers which come with 3 different sizes of rubbery flanges. stay in well but i do noticed lots of noise where the cable rubs against my jacket)

I forgot I set it, and it filled up the HDD with 6pm every night... mostly old simpsons eps and some other weekewnd crap. It was impossible to work out how to delete anything (shitty GUI), I ended up turfing it. Waste of $700 :(

Christ!

Hey Trayce, can I have some money? I don't need much...like, US$500?

Earbuds: I've mentioned it before, but I suspect my right ear has a bigger opening than my left ear. I can't keep anything in there.

It's a long story (and probably could've been avoided), but when I recorded my part in the upcoming LULULU comp, I was wearing both earbuds and headphones. That my right earbud stayed in the entire time (thanks to the right headphone) felt pretty good!

I bought cheapie Koss headphones yest out of dire necessity, and they're big and not soft and they huuuurt my ears. In future will only ever buy the kind with little squishy changeable flanges even though I can't chew while wearing them (it's deafening).

I bought a pair of the "cheaper" ($75) Shures and they were very comfy and stayed in without hurting, but then I got an iPhone and found the remote clicker too handy to do without. The Skull Candy ones I bought are unsatisfactory bc 1. If I push them in snuggly, the create suction that seriously muffles sound, 2. If I leave them looser, they fall out when I run. I've tried the various sizes of plugs.

Earbuds are just one of those things that will always suck a little, I think.