Just when you thought it was safe - OK CUPID PART 3: The Return of the WOO!

I always try to respond to something specific in someone's profile, like "Whoa, high fives for video art and graphic design! So what's yr favorite typeface?"

^ is that bad? Am I doing it wrong?

No and no, I think.

Stevie: nah thats great, it shows you've paid attention. Ive had messages like "u have great smile lady" when the only photo I had up at the time was one I wasnt smiling in (perhaps they had an amusing sense of humour, ha).

One guy messaged me with "trayce is a bit of a bogan name isnt it?". Sry dude, I dont do negs.

You have said that before! Bogan is only a word in Aus, don't worry.

Argh I have such a short memory span, haha, always repeating myself ;_;

That's the way to do it, Stevie. I usually only write someone if I can make a joke or riff on something in their profile . . . it seems more natural that way. Otherwise it seems kind of stilted and like a shot in the dark. I haven't had time to write anyone lately though--I'm being kept busy enough with the people who are writing me (*braggin'*).

Eh, both my scheduled dates cancelled on me this week, so I guess I can't brag too much.

Scanning one of my quivers, she seemed really nice in a "thank god she didn't list any Ayn Rand," but then I read more closely and she lists Atlas Shrugged in her books section.

hahaha

which is worse, listing atlas shrugged or the secret?

"the shack"

I just got favorited out of nowhere by a (married) girl into polyamory. Kind of not sure what to think about that?

Yeah I get faved now and then and abour 70% of the time it is married/taken poly guys. I need to put back that sentence in my profile that says "if yr married or taken, keep moving, nothing to see here". I took it out cos it seemed combative.

Does anyone end up making a lot of friends from this site? Because I think that's where I am headed. What do you do when you have a good time with someone but there's no obvious connection, but you would like them to be your drinking buddy or whatever? It seems strange to go on these dates and learn lots of personal stuff about someone and then never see them or talk to them again.

that's happened to me a couple of times, which i think is good

I became friends with someone who turned out to know a bunch of ilxors and some of my irl friends, and we're still friends even though we still haven't met (NB he is in Boston).

The person I've gotten along the best with, I was sure was a closet ilxor, sent by this thread to report on my lack of game, but he says he's never posted, but that he'd heard of the site.

Good, good, he's following right along with the script....

Ha! :)

I got a rejection notice from someone who emailed me first:

"Thanks for writing back, but I'm getting the impression that we're not such a good match -- sorry.

Good luck, all best, etc.,"

Wait, what?

a) how accurate do you find the percentages?
b) do they appear the same for both people?

got a message from someone who is like 55% match, 23% enemy and i'm all what are you doing, the internet thinks we're doomed

The faux-ilx person is my 99% match and my 51% friend, which is quite a strange split. I wouldn't worry about the percentages...just meet the people you want to meet. (I think I'm 94% with once ilx poster m. matos.)

i guess it shouldn't be too hard to avoid the friend zone, then!

i am intrigued by the handful of ppl with whom i match below 10%

Now that you mention it, we did skip over that part(!)

I tried searching by the people I least matched with; it wasn't a good scene.

Kinda want to say I only listen to rap and country as those seem to be the music genres most folks dislike

hahaha do it.

I just recently revised my profile to say that I am not looking for casual sex partners and also if you're married and poly to not message me.

I have received three messages in the last 24 hrs from dudes clearly looking for tail.

MEN OF INTERNET: LEARN TO READ PLS

tbh we just skip to the pictures

(jk)

Ok, I'm bored with this now. Thinking I need to be much more selective about the people I choose to meet, because I don't like havin to explain to people that a second date is not in the cards.

i would begin to seriously start looking into another online dating platform tbh

i'm not even considering okcupid!

but i am a bit of a snob/can't deal with too much cynicism these days/where is serious man who/etc etc

was supposed to go on a date but the person cancelled an hour beforehand...i need to institute a 24 hour cancellation policy like the doctor's office.

i have no idea why i am still on this site! it's so terrible.

I know... I think I am in the "ugly" pool. My first like 15 pages of matches are all poly people.

Match.com is almost worst.

I GUESS I WILL TRY AND MEET PEOPLE IN REAL LIFE????

Mands there is NO WAY you are in any pool that isn't marked "ONLY AWESOME ONES HERE, GET YER AWESOME ONES HERE."

Laurel, that's sweet of you :)

Nobody poly ever contacts me, except for I think one dude who was married and lives in California saved me to his favorites (?). Maybe it's because okc says I am less kinky than most straight women my age.

for awhile creepy married dudes kept contacting me, and i was like wtf, and then i realized i had not checked off "must be single" under who i'm looking to meet.

I did check "must be single" but one of my 99% matches kind of buries the lead at the end of his profle that he is a committed polyamorist. I keep forgetting what's wrong with him and click on his profile occasionally; luckily he's never contacted me.

Wait, so his profile says single, but he isnt? What a dick!

I guess maybe, because he comes up in my searches? Eh, he's not all that anyway....

Hm unless saying "must be single" also includes ppl who have it set as "available", which is poly code for "i'll take as much as i can" ugh.

Match.com is almost worst.

Yes. Match in the over 40 age range has more folks into health and exercise, but alas many of them are only into triathalons, hiking and biking huge distances, etc. OK Cupid in the over 40 range has lots of very, very large folks into music and movies. Surely there must be someone in the middle between these extremes.

I've heard match is kind of... bad, but I've actually heard worse reports about eharmony! Eharmony: for when you have "traditional values" and are looking for a _serious relationship_ meaning that my female friends end up with dudes who have weird ideas about women who are looking for wifey.

I kind of still in my "not taking okcupid seriously" phase in that I need to upload better pics and actually fill out info to sound more enthusiastic and not like a crepe.

Women that appear to be on okc in my area:
- People I recognize or have met through friends who do not fit me for various reasons, but it is odd when we recognize each other from the site
- Women from 26-34 with kids. Not necessarily a dealbreaker, but some are... too kid-focused? I don't know, they present the facts in a weird way
- People in careers that keep them busy in normal socializing hours so they go to the site. Slight overlap with the mothers. Example: nurses.
- Suburbanites with tastes that weird me out
- People with horrible aesthetics or who are (as Todd the squirrel in Achewood would say) "church-face retards"

OK relevant achewood comic: http://m.assetbar.com/achewood/uuag2XNs5

Ugh guys I think I'm giving up on this thing again. This just simply is not for me.

Are you profile-stalking? I think that's the key to a good okc experience. That said, it's not like you have any problems meeting people IRL.

I mean sort of, but not that much. But no, I have no problem meeting people IRL, that's the weirdest part. It's so easy for me to make new friends and acquaintances but so hard to meet, like, potential romantic interests that are also attracted to me.

Maybe you are valueing romance too highly and sex too cheaply? Just get romantical with one of your hook-ups--you're at least halfway there.

Or am I misunderstanding the whole gay-sex-scene yet again?