Just when you thought it was safe - OK CUPID PART 3: The Return of the WOO!

Do it, do it. Wait, I don't want you to feel trapped. There seems to be a fair crop of nice, earnest guys out there at the moment though, if you like that sort of thing.

Rrrobyn, I have a feeling you would really enjoy it, because you seem so open-minded and would maybe be into meeting random people (in an experiential sort-of-way).

I met someone, but she kind of was on the verge of going exclusive with some other guy. I run into her when I'm out and about, good person to know, would recommend the okcupid experience. I think my friend met his girlfriend on there and I'm kind of pissed I didn't find her first, actually.

I don't get what I did wrong, but after 12 months, I'm done with okc and eharmony forever.. I wrote to over 50 girls this past summer and nobody responded.

There are 2 things that make me guaranteed to not reply to someone. The first is if the message is short and unimaginative and just says "ur cute" or "hi baby wanna chat" because that just comes over as icky trolling.

The second, I'm reluctant to say, is I simply dont find the person attractive. And really, I'm not a fussy person, so they have to look pretty uh.. not my type (giant beards, very overweight, visually a lot older than me = all turn offs)

It amazes me how some ppl on OKC and similar sites really dont make any effort to put up a good/flattering shot. I think Ive said this before. It cant be that hard to get a complimentary photo of oneself, rather than one that's out of focus/too dark/caught pulling dumb face etc.

an old friend of mine worked for okcupid, so i heard a lot of fascinating stories from the 'inside'

i told him to hook me up with the top-secret algorithms, but no dice

fascinating stories from the 'inside'

can they be boiled down to 'ppl are animals'?

amazes me how some ppl on OKC and similar sites really dont make any effort to put up a good/flattering shot. I think Ive said this before. It cant be that hard to get a complimentary photo of oneself, rather than one that's out of focus/too dark/caught pulling dumb face etc.

― Silent Hedgehogs (Trayce), Thursday, October 6, 2011

I believe it is more complicated than that. I think some people are hesitant to drag friends into this to take photos, and they would really liked to be judged as much on their written profile as their looks (even if they possibly decide in part on others by looking at photos). Also some folks are out of shape. There are also profiles where people only have tight head shot photos (nicely taken) but one wonders about what the rest of that person looks like. There's graying hair and losing hair issues too. All kinds of factors.

I always try to respond to something specific in someone's profile, like "Whoa, high fives for video art and graphic design! So what's yr favorite typeface?"

^ is that bad? Am I doing it wrong?

No and no, I think.

Stevie: nah thats great, it shows you've paid attention. Ive had messages like "u have great smile lady" when the only photo I had up at the time was one I wasnt smiling in (perhaps they had an amusing sense of humour, ha).

One guy messaged me with "trayce is a bit of a bogan name isnt it?". Sry dude, I dont do negs.

You have said that before! Bogan is only a word in Aus, don't worry.

Argh I have such a short memory span, haha, always repeating myself ;_;

That's the way to do it, Stevie. I usually only write someone if I can make a joke or riff on something in their profile . . . it seems more natural that way. Otherwise it seems kind of stilted and like a shot in the dark. I haven't had time to write anyone lately though--I'm being kept busy enough with the people who are writing me (*braggin'*).

Eh, both my scheduled dates cancelled on me this week, so I guess I can't brag too much.

Scanning one of my quivers, she seemed really nice in a "thank god she didn't list any Ayn Rand," but then I read more closely and she lists Atlas Shrugged in her books section.

hahaha

which is worse, listing atlas shrugged or the secret?

"the shack"

I just got favorited out of nowhere by a (married) girl into polyamory. Kind of not sure what to think about that?

Yeah I get faved now and then and abour 70% of the time it is married/taken poly guys. I need to put back that sentence in my profile that says "if yr married or taken, keep moving, nothing to see here". I took it out cos it seemed combative.

Does anyone end up making a lot of friends from this site? Because I think that's where I am headed. What do you do when you have a good time with someone but there's no obvious connection, but you would like them to be your drinking buddy or whatever? It seems strange to go on these dates and learn lots of personal stuff about someone and then never see them or talk to them again.

that's happened to me a couple of times, which i think is good

I became friends with someone who turned out to know a bunch of ilxors and some of my irl friends, and we're still friends even though we still haven't met (NB he is in Boston).

The person I've gotten along the best with, I was sure was a closet ilxor, sent by this thread to report on my lack of game, but he says he's never posted, but that he'd heard of the site.

Good, good, he's following right along with the script....

Ha! :)

I got a rejection notice from someone who emailed me first:

"Thanks for writing back, but I'm getting the impression that we're not such a good match -- sorry.

Good luck, all best, etc.,"

Wait, what?

a) how accurate do you find the percentages?
b) do they appear the same for both people?

got a message from someone who is like 55% match, 23% enemy and i'm all what are you doing, the internet thinks we're doomed

The faux-ilx person is my 99% match and my 51% friend, which is quite a strange split. I wouldn't worry about the percentages...just meet the people you want to meet. (I think I'm 94% with once ilx poster m. matos.)

i guess it shouldn't be too hard to avoid the friend zone, then!

i am intrigued by the handful of ppl with whom i match below 10%

Now that you mention it, we did skip over that part(!)

I tried searching by the people I least matched with; it wasn't a good scene.

Kinda want to say I only listen to rap and country as those seem to be the music genres most folks dislike

hahaha do it.

I just recently revised my profile to say that I am not looking for casual sex partners and also if you're married and poly to not message me.

I have received three messages in the last 24 hrs from dudes clearly looking for tail.

MEN OF INTERNET: LEARN TO READ PLS

tbh we just skip to the pictures

(jk)

Ok, I'm bored with this now. Thinking I need to be much more selective about the people I choose to meet, because I don't like havin to explain to people that a second date is not in the cards.

i would begin to seriously start looking into another online dating platform tbh

i'm not even considering okcupid!

but i am a bit of a snob/can't deal with too much cynicism these days/where is serious man who/etc etc

was supposed to go on a date but the person cancelled an hour beforehand...i need to institute a 24 hour cancellation policy like the doctor's office.

i have no idea why i am still on this site! it's so terrible.

I know... I think I am in the "ugly" pool. My first like 15 pages of matches are all poly people.

Match.com is almost worst.

I GUESS I WILL TRY AND MEET PEOPLE IN REAL LIFE????

Mands there is NO WAY you are in any pool that isn't marked "ONLY AWESOME ONES HERE, GET YER AWESOME ONES HERE."

Laurel, that's sweet of you :)

Nobody poly ever contacts me, except for I think one dude who was married and lives in California saved me to his favorites (?). Maybe it's because okc says I am less kinky than most straight women my age.

for awhile creepy married dudes kept contacting me, and i was like wtf, and then i realized i had not checked off "must be single" under who i'm looking to meet.

I did check "must be single" but one of my 99% matches kind of buries the lead at the end of his profle that he is a committed polyamorist. I keep forgetting what's wrong with him and click on his profile occasionally; luckily he's never contacted me.

Wait, so his profile says single, but he isnt? What a dick!

I guess maybe, because he comes up in my searches? Eh, he's not all that anyway....

Hm unless saying "must be single" also includes ppl who have it set as "available", which is poly code for "i'll take as much as i can" ugh.