Just when you thought it was safe - OK CUPID PART 3: The Return of the WOO!

Like, are some women actually visiting my profile more than once in a passive attempt to get me to message?

You noticed!

(I think this guy dyed his hair, but other than that I think his follicles were intact. And now I should stop discussing this poor gentleman on a public forum.)

Don't be hesitant or have misgivings! We have Trayce for that.

What... hey!

Ouch

That is just me prodding you to stop guilting about using the site, and just start using the site btw

Haha yeah, its a fair cop guv.

TBH the main thing putting me off is I wasnt looking at it/using it for quite some time.. I come back and the same guys are still there, still my matches. Thats... depressing.

For them or for you?

Well, both, I suppose.

That's something that prays on my mind whenever I stumble on there again and think of how long I've been hanging about...

I have to confesss seeing someone who's been on there a long time, especially if they have that "no ones messaged them for over a week! give them a shout" caption (god, thats so unhelpful!), it gives me pause. I'm sure I cop the same in reverse *shrug*. I get very few ppl ever messaging me. I'm going to assume its a combo of being 40, and a smoker.

Maybe they... oh hell who am I kidding, they're probably antisocials like myself who barely use the site

thought that said "probably aristocrats like myself"

I get maybe two messages a month that aren't a cookie-cutter opening line. I write to guys occasionally but only if I'm really intrigued - I should be way less picky but I don't like back and forth messaging and usually want to meet fast, so would have to make the time for a lot of dates if I kept initiating things (if they replied!)

xp Mookie - I write back to anyone who sends me a non-ridiculous message, saying 'Thanks for the message - I don't think we'd be a good match but it's always nice to get messages on here. Good luck on the site, we all need it'. Which is true - I need the karma.

I would totally go on a date with heaps of ILXors if y'all werent living in other countries :(

we're all weirdos in real life

also trayce you should date other people don't feel bad

Yeah yr right, I really should. I dont even think the current guy would mind in all honesty, he's p cool like that.

yes, date people, t! when a friend of mine was on ok-cupid (where she met her long-term bf), she acknowledged that she was doing it partly to boost her self-esteem and flex her atrophied dating muscles
i've still yet to get in on this, i don't know, maybe when i finish reading Game of Thrones, just started book 3, so i'm guessing sometime after christmas lol but srsly this is becoming a problem send help

lol

That has been my "I am not intentionally looking for dates" attitude for some time. I talked to a few people on okc, had a few hookup type things after socializing around town, but just haven't been... searching. The last time I dated for over a month was when I met someone at a friend's wedding and she moved away six weeks later.

at least you're not addicted to needing to know what's going to happen next in a fictional land where everyone is reprehensible and power crazed but also dragons zombies wolves!

Are you talking about books or dating gossip?

lol but really could be true - larping types seem to hang out on ok-c if the stories from friends are to be believed
tbr i've been doing a lot of other work-y things but having a cold last week just really threw off the social life and GoT kinda took over :/

Pretty sure I said it upthread but I was told that for Montreal and Minneapolis okcupid is full of polyamorous goth types, lol. Pretty sure there's an overlap with larping, there.

I'm actually legitimately looking to date someone now; applying that lens as opposed to the "Who's another weirdo I can have a story about?" is considerably more difficult.

everyone i know in Mtl who has been on okcupid has been on at least one date with a polyamourous goth/larper type! i'm like, how come?? and they're like, i didn't know! and/or they seemed nice enough!
maybe it's the price we pay to live and online-date in the city, gah, i don't know and i don't know that i want to find out

rrrobyn i had drinks with a lot of the game of thrones cast & crew last week-- in an actual castle! have you seen the HBO version?

anyway back to OKC

i made a skeleton account a few months back just so I could check out whats out there, and maybe i'm just picky but it looks like the answer is "not much"

how much does it improve the search/match results if you actually make a real, earnest, profile?

also, is anyone else fucking w/ OKC in a city of less than 1m ppl? HNL really doesn't seem to have caught on like a lot of other cites my friends live in. Also, there's kind of a weird, unique "it's a small island" dynamic here that maybe keeps a lot of my peers from putting up a profile.

homo2 that sounds good :) perhaps going through the weirdos/stories was a necessary part of getting to the point of legitimately wanting to date someone
xp
!!!whoa!!! of course i've seen the hbo version! that's why i'm reading the books! awesome! wait why are there castles in hawaii?!!

oh i was in croatia

nbd

peter dinkladge is a fucking mack, yall.

ah croatia of course!
dinklage is perfect as tyrion i can hardly believe it

ok will stop interrupting this thread. gotta go read anyway.

but yeah, that is so awesome g80

also a friend (not in HNL) recently had this dude message her on OKC:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HkBxl8Cq-fI

I'm from an area of < mil iirc

do you see the same girls every time you "review your matches"?

and is it a decent spectrum of women your age?

It depends how I order it, but yeah, doing the same search with the same parameters tends to return the same people. If you let it sort by their "secret formula" or whatever it's called, rather than match percentage or whatever, then it is more likely to mix it up. I think they aim to make it less repetitive that way.

Quite a few women, although it seems to cluster a little younger? Not sure.

gr8080, to improve your matches you're supposed to answer a ton of the questions. But the questions are really dumb, and may not indicate anything besides the fact that you were bored enough to spend a lot of time answering them (guilty). Also, if you're in a small enough "market," maybe you can just look at everyone.

Do y'all answer the questions openly or privately? I do privately, which I was just chided for today.

I'm tempted just to rejoin so I can contribute funnier things to this thread and send nonsensical msgs to mookie and VP but it feels like IT'S A TRAP a little bit.

Do it, do it. Wait, I don't want you to feel trapped. There seems to be a fair crop of nice, earnest guys out there at the moment though, if you like that sort of thing.

Rrrobyn, I have a feeling you would really enjoy it, because you seem so open-minded and would maybe be into meeting random people (in an experiential sort-of-way).

I met someone, but she kind of was on the verge of going exclusive with some other guy. I run into her when I'm out and about, good person to know, would recommend the okcupid experience. I think my friend met his girlfriend on there and I'm kind of pissed I didn't find her first, actually.

I don't get what I did wrong, but after 12 months, I'm done with okc and eharmony forever.. I wrote to over 50 girls this past summer and nobody responded.

There are 2 things that make me guaranteed to not reply to someone. The first is if the message is short and unimaginative and just says "ur cute" or "hi baby wanna chat" because that just comes over as icky trolling.

The second, I'm reluctant to say, is I simply dont find the person attractive. And really, I'm not a fussy person, so they have to look pretty uh.. not my type (giant beards, very overweight, visually a lot older than me = all turn offs)

It amazes me how some ppl on OKC and similar sites really dont make any effort to put up a good/flattering shot. I think Ive said this before. It cant be that hard to get a complimentary photo of oneself, rather than one that's out of focus/too dark/caught pulling dumb face etc.

an old friend of mine worked for okcupid, so i heard a lot of fascinating stories from the 'inside'

i told him to hook me up with the top-secret algorithms, but no dice

fascinating stories from the 'inside'

can they be boiled down to 'ppl are animals'?

amazes me how some ppl on OKC and similar sites really dont make any effort to put up a good/flattering shot. I think Ive said this before. It cant be that hard to get a complimentary photo of oneself, rather than one that's out of focus/too dark/caught pulling dumb face etc.

― Silent Hedgehogs (Trayce), Thursday, October 6, 2011

I believe it is more complicated than that. I think some people are hesitant to drag friends into this to take photos, and they would really liked to be judged as much on their written profile as their looks (even if they possibly decide in part on others by looking at photos). Also some folks are out of shape. There are also profiles where people only have tight head shot photos (nicely taken) but one wonders about what the rest of that person looks like. There's graying hair and losing hair issues too. All kinds of factors.

I always try to respond to something specific in someone's profile, like "Whoa, high fives for video art and graphic design! So what's yr favorite typeface?"

^ is that bad? Am I doing it wrong?