Just when you thought it was safe - OK CUPID PART 3: The Return of the WOO!

What! Not every dude thins out that much *runs hands through thick, lustrous hair*

what age?

What age am I, or what age is Laurel looking at? I'm 30.

rmde

I'm going to look the exact same at 40, I swear.

*denial

*smdlustroushair

Guys I've never posted on this thread but I just deactivated my old account and started a new one and already regret it.

Don't be hesitant or have misgivings! We have Trayce for that.

It didn't take me long to remember that the whole reason I gave up was a) I get messages from people I haven't messaged first maybe once or twice every two months b) I will get replies to messages I send maybe 1 time out of 10, if that c) in the year and a half that I actively pursued OKCupid I went on three dates and none of them led to anything.

I get really frustrated at the idea of trying to communicate my personality and etc. over what is essentially a web form, and I'm torn between trying to be myself and perhaps quirky and witty or whatever without coming across as trying too hard. It's such a chore and it feels utterly futile, like applying for jobs.

Ugh I already fucking haaate this thing now.

I hate it because I know the men-messaging-women dynamic is different from a women-messaging-men dynamic due to cultural gender relations baggage. Like, are some women actually visiting my profile more than once in a passive attempt to get me to message?

Weird moment today--found a guy who does a conference I'm very interested in here in town, then saw that one of the 5 organizers of the conference is a girl I've messaged & been ignored by.

And these stupid fucking questions--they are so arbitrary!! Are these SERIOUSLY dealbreakers for some people? Like, how the fuck are you supposed to know EXACTLY what type of person is perfect for you? How many wonderful people are you missing bcz you THINK you *must* date someone who loves dogs or some shit?

I solve that problem by not dating anyone who loves dogs.

Yeah, men messaging men just seems hopeless. I'm pretty sure people just look at my pictures and completely ignore the rest of my profile or something.

I don't really trust guys past a certain age who still appear to have all their hair.

boo

i just got msg'ed by someone for the first time in like, three months, but i also haven't been actively pursuing anything on it either

Like, are some women actually visiting my profile more than once in a passive attempt to get me to message?

You noticed!

(I think this guy dyed his hair, but other than that I think his follicles were intact. And now I should stop discussing this poor gentleman on a public forum.)

Don't be hesitant or have misgivings! We have Trayce for that.

What... hey!

Ouch

That is just me prodding you to stop guilting about using the site, and just start using the site btw

Haha yeah, its a fair cop guv.

TBH the main thing putting me off is I wasnt looking at it/using it for quite some time.. I come back and the same guys are still there, still my matches. Thats... depressing.

For them or for you?

Well, both, I suppose.

That's something that prays on my mind whenever I stumble on there again and think of how long I've been hanging about...

I have to confesss seeing someone who's been on there a long time, especially if they have that "no ones messaged them for over a week! give them a shout" caption (god, thats so unhelpful!), it gives me pause. I'm sure I cop the same in reverse *shrug*. I get very few ppl ever messaging me. I'm going to assume its a combo of being 40, and a smoker.

Maybe they... oh hell who am I kidding, they're probably antisocials like myself who barely use the site

thought that said "probably aristocrats like myself"

I get maybe two messages a month that aren't a cookie-cutter opening line. I write to guys occasionally but only if I'm really intrigued - I should be way less picky but I don't like back and forth messaging and usually want to meet fast, so would have to make the time for a lot of dates if I kept initiating things (if they replied!)

xp Mookie - I write back to anyone who sends me a non-ridiculous message, saying 'Thanks for the message - I don't think we'd be a good match but it's always nice to get messages on here. Good luck on the site, we all need it'. Which is true - I need the karma.

I would totally go on a date with heaps of ILXors if y'all werent living in other countries :(

we're all weirdos in real life

also trayce you should date other people don't feel bad

Yeah yr right, I really should. I dont even think the current guy would mind in all honesty, he's p cool like that.

yes, date people, t! when a friend of mine was on ok-cupid (where she met her long-term bf), she acknowledged that she was doing it partly to boost her self-esteem and flex her atrophied dating muscles
i've still yet to get in on this, i don't know, maybe when i finish reading Game of Thrones, just started book 3, so i'm guessing sometime after christmas lol but srsly this is becoming a problem send help

lol

That has been my "I am not intentionally looking for dates" attitude for some time. I talked to a few people on okc, had a few hookup type things after socializing around town, but just haven't been... searching. The last time I dated for over a month was when I met someone at a friend's wedding and she moved away six weeks later.

at least you're not addicted to needing to know what's going to happen next in a fictional land where everyone is reprehensible and power crazed but also dragons zombies wolves!

Are you talking about books or dating gossip?

lol but really could be true - larping types seem to hang out on ok-c if the stories from friends are to be believed
tbr i've been doing a lot of other work-y things but having a cold last week just really threw off the social life and GoT kinda took over :/

Pretty sure I said it upthread but I was told that for Montreal and Minneapolis okcupid is full of polyamorous goth types, lol. Pretty sure there's an overlap with larping, there.

I'm actually legitimately looking to date someone now; applying that lens as opposed to the "Who's another weirdo I can have a story about?" is considerably more difficult.

everyone i know in Mtl who has been on okcupid has been on at least one date with a polyamourous goth/larper type! i'm like, how come?? and they're like, i didn't know! and/or they seemed nice enough!
maybe it's the price we pay to live and online-date in the city, gah, i don't know and i don't know that i want to find out

rrrobyn i had drinks with a lot of the game of thrones cast & crew last week-- in an actual castle! have you seen the HBO version?

anyway back to OKC

i made a skeleton account a few months back just so I could check out whats out there, and maybe i'm just picky but it looks like the answer is "not much"

how much does it improve the search/match results if you actually make a real, earnest, profile?

also, is anyone else fucking w/ OKC in a city of less than 1m ppl? HNL really doesn't seem to have caught on like a lot of other cites my friends live in. Also, there's kind of a weird, unique "it's a small island" dynamic here that maybe keeps a lot of my peers from putting up a profile.

homo2 that sounds good :) perhaps going through the weirdos/stories was a necessary part of getting to the point of legitimately wanting to date someone
xp
!!!whoa!!! of course i've seen the hbo version! that's why i'm reading the books! awesome! wait why are there castles in hawaii?!!

oh i was in croatia

nbd

peter dinkladge is a fucking mack, yall.

ah croatia of course!
dinklage is perfect as tyrion i can hardly believe it

ok will stop interrupting this thread. gotta go read anyway.