Innocuous things that make you irrationally angry (a list thread)

sometimes i'm curious to see who i'm sitting beside for the whole journey

This seems like an appropriate place to share a story:

I was in the Bay Area on my honeymoon last week, and my wife and I were on BART to visit a friend in Oakland. The train is crowded, so I'm just standing up and casually looking around the car while my wife reads her Kindle. At one point I meet eyes for a second with a woman a few seats away. She is looking straight ahead at me, very intently, but I don't think anything of it, I just keep looking around.

As we approach the next stop, the woman walks up to me and says, "You're married, right?" While I'm momentarily dumbfounded at how she knows (I've been married a week, so I don't remember that I'm wearing a big old ring that broadcasts my marital status to anyone within sight of my left hand), she continues: "You need to focus on your wife. I saw you staring at me, looking at me up and down, undressing me with your eyes. Don't try to pretend you weren't." Astonished, I attempt to defend myself, saying I glanced at her for no more than a second or two while looking around the train. (Like, I'm sure I stared at the disheveled paraplegic by the door a whole lot longer than I ever looked at this woman.) She isn't having any of it. She keeps repeating, loudly, that I need to focus on my wife. So I persist as well, claiming innocence and noting her sheer presumptuousness.

Of course, this riles up other riders on the train, some of whom say "Dude, just let it go!" And I don't know whether this means "It's no use arguing with a crazy woman" or "It's no use trying to defend yourself, when you've been so devastatingly called out." So now I'm horrified at the thought that the entire train thinks I'm this disgusting lecher who's ogling other women on my honeymoon, while my wife is standing right next to me (not that anyone would know that I was on my honeymoon -- or for that matter, that the woman next to me is my wife). And my wife is trying to get me to back off, too, at one point forcefully kissing me just to shut me up. Eventually the train arrives at the station, and the woman walks out, all the while claiming that her boyfriend is going to whip my ass or some such thing. I was still pretty much shaken until I got off the train myself.

So you know: Be careful where you're lookin', fellas.

I've had at least 3 dozen women tell me this about you jaymc.

Give me that woman's contact info. I am in a unique position to set her straight.

Just a second ... I need to pull it up on my BlackBerry.

If it's any consolation, everyone I know who moves here has tales to tell about crazy BART people within a week or two...

I think my response to such a woman would have been a very loud "would you mind your own business, you egostistical COW?"

"Weren't you in here a few hours ago?" he asks.
"Nope, wasn't me." I reply.

He scans a few more items and then says, "Well, he looked exactly like you."
"Must've been a handsome dude!" I say.

He completely stops everything and looks at me. "I wouldn't know anything about that." Then all of a sudden, the lightbulb comes on. "… but, I see where you would think that!"

I hate talking to this cashier, I think to myself.

― Pleasant Plains, Tuesday, September 27, 2011 11:42 AM (8 hours ago)

I don't get it. Was he so strung out about possibly referring to another man as handsome? I try to joke with the cashiers at Whole Foods sometimes and it is almost always an unqualified failure because they're SO FUCKING STUPID

Yes, he was that strung out.

Having to change the date in the search results on ALL our websites to the US format. We are a UK company, but trying to make it big over there so what they say goes.

tip for jaymc: just say to the luny, "oh we're swingers, we teamed up because i can always pick ladies she'll enjoy -- you interested? she's hott"

My ladyboss is overall averagely cheery, but every morning when she comes in and I say, "Hi, how are you?" She says, "Oh I'm here." It would be interesting to count how many times she's said that.

Next time, ask "Where are you?"...

"Why are you?"

*implodes*

PEOPLE WHO PUT ON THEIR FLASHERS AND PARK IN THE FUCKING BIKE LANE TO DROP KIDS OFF AT DAYCARE (NB not actually "innocuous.")

https://fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-snc7/298134_2335530384409_1134308060_2772273_511814645_n.jpg

the other day a pizza guy was parked in the middle of the bike lane (most of which is actually set off from the rest of the street by dividers — he was in the one place where it wasn't smdh)

Who drops off their kids at daycare in the middle of the night?

Vampyres

LOL I took that pic about 6:30 this morning. As I was taking it, the driver walked out of the building and said, "Sorry." As if. I didn't reply, so she said, "Are you taking a picture of my license plate?" I replied, "Yes, I am," and biked off.

The stupid thing is, unseen in the picture, but about two feet behind me, THERE IS A PARKING CUTOUT THAT WILL HOLD UP TO FOUR CARS, as seen here: http://g.co/maps/k3xyz . As I was taking this, a car pulled behind me into the cutout . . . then saw I was blocking the area where she wanted to park illegally, so pulled around the corner.

And my wife is trying to get me to back off, too, at one point forcefully kissing me just to shut me up.

This is amazing.

jaymc i'm a mean starer. i dunno. yo next time just start riffing on her how you were fantasizing about turning her around and licking out her ass while kneeling behind her and kiss the single dark mole over her left breast like a medallion of a saint. then put your hand around the small of her back, pull her in and kiss her throat. your girl should get in on it too

*aroused*

the late-night dripping of the upstairs neighbors' bedroom a/c onto ours. i've put towels down on top of our unit and they get soaked through. i don't want to interfere with anyone's thermal comfort (although in the middle of the night in late september they could just open a freaking window) but the dripping is keeping me awake and i'm running out of shitty $3.99 bath towels.

also, we're having a drain fly problem and don't wanna encourage standing water.

Kings Cross Station - all of it, the whole lot.

xp you're saying the splattering noise is the problem? a sponge (or piece of cushion foam) might work for that..

the splattering and the standing water from the soaked towels (or sponges or foam, possibly).

i had a similar problem a few years ago (overflow pipe) and a slanted piece of wood helped a lot - the sound of a glancing blow wasn't audible from inside the way a drip onto a flat surface was.

Can you just take your AC out for the season?

Kings Cross Station - all of it, the whole lot.

― Yo wait a minute man, you better think about the world (dog latin), Thursday, September 29, 2011 7:03 AM (3 hours ago) Bookmark

Awwwwwww I used to live 5 mins from there and used it every day. It's p crap but I'd give a lot to be able to be there right now.

This was years ago now but there was a lot of construction going on around there then. I wonder if it's done now.

OK, Very unimportant thing that can make me IA..

When in a film or TV show, someone plays a record with a visible label and the song that plays definitely was not issued on that label. It happens less often these days but there's a definite one at the beginning of "One Day".

There's an ad that has Elton John playing but the label is yellow. Then again, it could be a "Uni" label which issued it in the USA...

http://shop.totallyvinyl.com/img/uploads/images/Wyman/ELTON_JOHN_GOODBYE_YELLOW_BRICK_ROAD_DJ_7_2.jpg
http://t2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRlHA9R3jd51K4bf78HsSoDy-9w3JlBLXZgGCJvdL_6rfAy0lwFWs96qJSFPQ
http://t0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRqr8Lo4w5ywYNPKeCaxu62txftyL9_Wo3ihJ8rkHnXDssRbu9o9NfRI3lw

It's a single, yes. So it could be that promo (first link)..

That drove me up the wall in Almost Famous.

And then I looked at the "goofs" page on imdb.com afterward and reminded myself that I need to just continue living my life.

I enjoy a small collection of "singles that seem to be on the wrong label", e.g. "Hey Jude" on UK Parlophone, "Dance to the Music" Sly/FamStone on UK Columbia, and a Love "7 and 7 is" on UK London (like The Ronettes eg)

That drove me up the wall in Almost Famous.

Which was the wrong label in that movie? All I remember is Tommy, correctly depicted with US Decca labels.

Well, I read the 'goofs' and the only one that seems to qualify is "Sparks" gets played, but the album is on side 4 on the player whereas the song is on side 1.

Maybe I'm thinking of High Fidelity where the character just drops the needle on the first song and a deep cut starts playing instead.

- people at work putting non-recyclable stuff in the recycling bins e.g. putting plastic garbage in the waste paper bins etc

- mediocre indie rock albums being classified as 'Jazz' in Gracenote/iTunes

Potato chips should be fucking banned, imho. At least until people learn how to eat them without sounding like a disgusting savage who's never eaten food in the company of another before.

Well, I read the 'goofs' and the only one that seems to qualify is "Sparks" gets played, but the album is on side 4 on the player whereas the song is on side 1.

Weird, I never noticed that. One thing that maybe isn't so much of a goof as just creative license is that it segues into the Live At Leeds version of "Sparks," which wasn't released until 1995. As incidental music, it makes sense/works, but then "Lester Bangs" takes it off the turntable at the radio station.

jvc, I have been wondering about the popcorn lady in your office. How's that situation coming along?

OK, Very unimportant thing that can make me IA..

When in a film or TV show, someone plays a record with a visible label and the song that plays definitely was not issued on that label. It happens less often these days but there's a definite one at the beginning of "One Day".

I knew I had gone too far when, watching an episode of Torchwood (I know) someone was holding up a Faber & Faber edition of Emily Dickinson and reading off the ISBN, which started with 019, which means it would have to be an Oxford Uni Press book, and I both noticed this and was deeply annoyed

Well, you've inspired me to go off and learn about ISBN. That's neat!

Why wouldn't they read the ISBN off the book they were holding?

(Note I didn't say ISBN Number, so bonus point to me)

My nerdy guess: the ISBN they used was from an Oxford anthology of poetry containing Emily Dickinson, which is what the screenwriter had to hand, rather than the complete works the props people actually provided

Rustic, I aim to please!

Yeah, but as I say: Are actors so dedicated to their craft that they read out the ISBN that they have learned from the script, rather than the prop they have in their hand?

(Genuine question, not being rhet)

jvc, I have been wondering about the popcorn lady in your office. How's that situation coming along?

Its been good, but mostly because she's been travelling a lot lately for work, so she's barely in the office.

- mediocre indie rock albums being classified as 'Jazz' in Gracenote/iTunes

Not gonna lie, this is hilarious.

Yeah, but as I say: Are actors so dedicated to their craft that they read out the ISBN that they have learned from the script, rather than the prop they have in their hand?

Apparently so. And indeed, who knew that it would be Torchwood that demonstrated this dedication. I've checked, and the ISBN quoted was The Oxford Dictionary of Quotations, from where the scriptwriter presumably nicked the bits of Emily Dickinson used in the plot. See http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0887099/goofs for more!