Innocuous things that make you irrationally angry (a list thread)

When I'm at water aerobics and some chump wants to lap swim and talks the instructor into setting up a lap or just hangs out in the deep end wearing goggles and going under water a lot when we're in the shallow end. I mean, there's one evening water aerobics class and the rest of the time it's lap swim. Let us have the pool!

I don't even want to know what that weirdo was doing in the deep end tonight.

Ew, was he perving on y'all from under there or something? :|

Man, if you use the phrase "denser concentration of housing" in the suburban thread, there are at least two ilxors that would, metaphorically of course, ejaculate with joy.

i would be one of the ejaculators, but i'm staying away from the thread.

Fucking Firefox keeps crashing, no matter how much I update flash/shockwave/java

Fucking Chrome keeps freezing up, or taking forever to load a page, or claims it's loading a page when the light on the modem showing data transfer is completely dead, or generally being a shitfuck

I fucking hate my computer at the moment

the term "elephant ears" to refer to fried dough

Ew, was he perving on y'all from under there or something? :|

I hope not. I hope not so much I'm going to say no. He was just practicing holding his breath with his goggles on. I did flip an underwater bird towards his end of the pool a few times, just in case.

Watching people jiggle around underwater would be a really weird perv-preference, though.

I doubt he's perving on you all the way from the other end of the pool, visibility just isn't that good. Er, so I've heard.

probably practicing his breath endurance for that charity pearl freedive to raise money for kids with puppies with cancer...

Fucking Firefox keeps crashing, no matter how much I update flash/shockwave/java

Having this ALL THE TIME on my PC too, especially on random Guardian pages. Dunno if it's a Firefox bug though or if I just need more memory or something.

the term "elephant ears" to refer to fried dough

Expound?

I did flip an underwater bird towards his end of the pool a few times, just in case.

Jenny that's great.

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_PTmxOHH4H9A/THsdCJvJNMI/AAAAAAAAAFc/7TO615fzE9s/s640/ElephantEar.jpg

I know what they are, but that's just what they're called. That or funnel cakes.

It fills me with a revulsion, kinda. I'm realizing it's hard to explain right now than it was when I posted it. I mean, I am equally repulsed by pigs feet, but since they are actually the feet of pigs, I know I'm never going to eat them. Elephants ears, a fairground confection, could conceivably end up on my plate, at which point my imagination would kick in and I start to feel nauseous about eating actual elephants ears.

Funnel cakes is a much more appropriate word, although describing a slightly different food.

Okay we are gonna rumble because elephant ears are the BEST fried dough.

And I'm going to have one on SUNDAY!

not as good as actual fried elephant ears though

the concept of "fried dough" fills me with revulsion almost more than elephants' ears.

You feel that strongly about a pastry batter cooked in boiling oil?

Elephant ears are the best ears because they have the right proportion of crunchy fried outside to pull-aparty doughy insides. AND they're a better vehicle for toppings than funnel cake.

the concept of "fried dough" fills me with revulsion almost more than elephants' ears.

Dude.

Yeah, no I mean, it's just that Dumbo gets me all teary-eyed already and I don't want that negatively affecting my sugar/fat intake. : \

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CORf1liT9cE

the concept of "fried dough" fills me with revulsion almost more than elephants' ears.

What the hell, man. What the hell.

SERIOUSLY....

Things which make me go into an irrational loop of social doubt: supermarket cashiers asking how I am.

I mean, sure, "fine thanks", that bit's ok, but then there's this silence while I weigh up the rudeness of not reciprocating with the sheer fakeness of doing so, like, we both know I don't actually want to know how you are, I've never seen you before

(of course if it's someone I've been served by regularly then that's a different matter, especially if we've had some kind of conversation beyond "fourteen pounds sixty, please" "thanks, bye", though for some reason it still feels a bit out of place in the supermarket as opposed to the local deli or butcher or whatever)

Man, I'm sorry, but complaining about common social interactions pisses me off, and the complaints about "how are you?" are the most common and annoying one. OF COURSE THE CASHIER IS NOT ASKING ABOUT YOUR WELL BEING. He or she means "I acknowledge that you are someone I'm about to interact with, and I am doing so in a welcoming manner." Jesus fucking Christ.

HINT: They also do not care if you HAVE A NICE DAY.

i feel like some of them do, esp in my local sainsburys. some of these dudes give the impression that they think the world is a better place if the people in it are happier, so go out of their way to crack a joke or w/e.

Fine. Perhaps "some" cashiers care, in which case, it's not fake. And those who don't aren't being "fake" either because the vast majority of them are just making friendly noises. It's too bad that coo-ing didn't catch on as a substitute for "How are you?" so that a passing space cadet, Andy Rooney, and my dad wouldn't have to be faced with that affront.

woah.

Wow. Sorry. I apologize. I got irrationally angry!!!

There you have it: proof that that complaint does, in fact, make me irrationally angry.

Have a nice day.

Asking me would I like a drink with my order before I can finish the food part. I told her today to let me finish and then I'll answer that question.

Oh man, I want to give space cadet a big hug now.

I apologize for going off. I'm unreasonably irritable today. That stand against "how are you" is a pet peeve, but I channeled all my other anger into the minor irritation it causes me. I'm sorry.

My cashier usually asks, Did you find everything okay?

To which I say yes, and then we stand there silently as she scans up the groceries and I watch the price screen. I think we're both satisfied with our social interaction.

Once there was this little punk who was like Christopher Walken Jr. He's giving me this weird look and I kinda return it right back to him.

"Weren't you in here a few hours ago?" he asks.
"Nope, wasn't me." I reply.

He scans a few more items and then says, "Well, he looked exactly like you."
"Must've been a handsome dude!" I say.

He completely stops everything and looks at me. "I wouldn't know anything about that." Then all of a sudden, the lightbulb comes on. "… but, I see where you would think that!"

I hate talking to this cashier, I think to myself.

I don't get angry about it necessarily, but here's an example of uncomfortable gratuitous interaction that annoys me.

I ride a commuter bus from Annapolis to DC to get to work every day. The bus holds 55 passengers and is almost always full. Upon boarding the bus, it's traditional to greet the driver with a "hi", "good morning", etc. Whenever you exit the bus, it's sort of expected to say "Thank you".

I just feel like that poor guy sitting there saying "you're welcome" 55 times in a row, he probably doesn't give a shit! He's said "you're welcome" 300 times this week. He knows that you're happy that he got you there on time and in one piece. He probably just wants us all to get off the bus so he can hurry on over to the bus depot, jump in his car and go home.

But then, if I don't say "thank you", I feel like I'm being gruff and standoffish. "What's with that weird guy who doesn't say 'thank you'? Creep."

xp lol pleasant plains.

I just feel like that poor guy sitting there saying "you're welcome" 55 times in a row, he probably doesn't give a shit! He's said "you're welcome" 300 times this week. He knows that you're happy that he got you there on time and in one piece. He probably just wants us all to get off the bus so he can hurry on over to the bus depot, jump in his car and go home

I have thought the same thing many many times. I still say thank you though.

Our office receptionist sits right in front of our door. Everyone that works here walks past her. Do we all need to say good day to her? I wouldn't mind, but I also think about her having to say hello to 75 people within the course of an hour, all the while trying to do her work. I would flip if 75 people walked past my desk and said HOWYA DOIN, PP?

BUT I feel if I don't extend some salutations, then I'm being rude. So now I let her take the lead, meaning I'm usually saying good morning while facing the other direction down the hall.

This is why i avoid leaving the house if at all possible

I do not speak to our building's concierge. I think he has tried to say "goodnight" or something to me a few times and I have ignored him. I guess I'm being rude to him, but he really does nothing for me. We don't interact otherwise.

I do say hi to the security guards though.

The only guys like that I will flat-out ignore without guilt are the BestBuy Rottweilers manning the security booth by the door. I'll talk to the Walmart greeter ten thousand times before the BestBuy guy even gets a head nod from me.

I've been in the receptionist by the front door position and I think it's safe to err on the side of friendly politeness. I think that's always a safe bet, actually.

People in offices can tend to treat administrative people like total inhuman shit, so saying hi and acknowledging the receptionist's humanity is always AGL, IMO.

Plus of the receptionist or bus driver doesn't want to say hello in response, she can just ignore you.

Speaking from the POV of a customer service worker, it's not a big deal to have to say hello or you're welcome or to smile 300 times a day. It's just the job.

I was about to say "the smile is part of the uniform," when I realized that that was one of those obnoxious corporate slogans. But when it's not being used as a cudgel by a dillweed manager, it makes sense.

I think I would be happier having to say "good morning" or "hi" 300x/day than having people act like I'm invisible.

I have probably vented about this before but "Are you finding everything OK?" throws my partner into a total headspin. He stands there with his brain gears crunching trying to work out if they mean 'have you physically found the items on your shopping list', which may make some sense in Whole Foods (although halfway through doing the shopping, we don't know!) but less so in, like, H&M. - or does it mean 'does the shopping experience in this store reach your standards' which also throws him, because, then he has to evaluate the experience of wandering around the aisles. He tends to take things very literally and after two years of being here has just about learned to smile and say 'yes thanks'. Apart from in Whole Foods at the checkout where they say 'did you find what you were looking for?' and they were out of something so he says 'no....' and then it's not like they're making a note of which items they were out of, so they just kind of smile and nod at each other.

Off-thread slightly, but re Whole Foods: does anyone know if it's their policy for their staff to never say 'no', or something? This past week I've noticed that I don't remember them ever saying this, which led to a bit of a weird interaction about where to pay. Like if you ask if they have any leeks, they will say 'we're out of leeks right now but we'll have them tomorrow', or similar, not 'no, sorry'.

"do you like to eat poo?"