Innocuous things that make you irrationally angry (a list thread)

The helpful staff at the caf on my way to work. And by helpful I mean NO DON'T TAKE THAT, No I do not WANT a spoon! Or that plastic bag! Go AWAY! Argh now you've jostled my elbow and I DROPPED MY CROISSANT JUST GODDAMN IT.

"Helpful people are a nuisance." -- R Fripp

stories that are slideshows

― Jeff, Monday, September 26, 2011 7:07 AM (3 hours ago) Bookmark

I really hate slide shows that open a new page for every image. There are probably good reasons why they exist, but I still hate waiting for an image to load and then at the end, being 20 pages away from the page where I found the slideshow.

Oh yeah, and you want to get back to that original page, but you have to click the back button 20 times?

There are probably good reasons why they exist

Cause every new page counts as a new "hit"; I would classify this as a "bad reason"

splitting an article/gallery up to increase page views can burn in hell.

although when ILX's "View Previous Page" doesn't work and I have to load all or input random message id #'s to move backwards in reasonable 100-post chunks.. i can get a li'l irrationally angry...

You can just press and hold the Back button and find the previous page, but it's still annoying. You're probably right re page views. That trick has to burn out sooner or later, right? Advertisers want high counts of unique users' page views, not artificially inflated ones, right?

re ILX's view previous page - I was thinking that maybe we need a new Irrationally Angry thread b/c this one currently has 8052 answers. 8053 after this one. Is it time?

I don't understand why we need new threads to continue existing ones. It's not like all 8000 posts are showing up at once.

Because of the "view previous page" failure problem. Sometimes I want to go back in a thread's history, and if I can't view previous pages, I would have to load the whole thread, which in this case would crash my browser. Or if I open it on my laptop, it would crash the whole computer.

Advertisers want high counts of unique users' page views, not artificially inflated ones, right?

I have a feeling there is not a web site in the world that declares which hits are "listicle" hits, it just gets all mushed together. (For the exact reason you say)

I started a post about page view stats inflation but then read decided to read about it and all that remains of the original post that is worth keeping is "I don't know what I'm talking about".

When I'm at water aerobics and some chump wants to lap swim and talks the instructor into setting up a lap or just hangs out in the deep end wearing goggles and going under water a lot when we're in the shallow end. I mean, there's one evening water aerobics class and the rest of the time it's lap swim. Let us have the pool!

I don't even want to know what that weirdo was doing in the deep end tonight.

Ew, was he perving on y'all from under there or something? :|

Man, if you use the phrase "denser concentration of housing" in the suburban thread, there are at least two ilxors that would, metaphorically of course, ejaculate with joy.

i would be one of the ejaculators, but i'm staying away from the thread.

Fucking Firefox keeps crashing, no matter how much I update flash/shockwave/java

Fucking Chrome keeps freezing up, or taking forever to load a page, or claims it's loading a page when the light on the modem showing data transfer is completely dead, or generally being a shitfuck

I fucking hate my computer at the moment

the term "elephant ears" to refer to fried dough

Ew, was he perving on y'all from under there or something? :|

I hope not. I hope not so much I'm going to say no. He was just practicing holding his breath with his goggles on. I did flip an underwater bird towards his end of the pool a few times, just in case.

Watching people jiggle around underwater would be a really weird perv-preference, though.

I doubt he's perving on you all the way from the other end of the pool, visibility just isn't that good. Er, so I've heard.

probably practicing his breath endurance for that charity pearl freedive to raise money for kids with puppies with cancer...

Fucking Firefox keeps crashing, no matter how much I update flash/shockwave/java

Having this ALL THE TIME on my PC too, especially on random Guardian pages. Dunno if it's a Firefox bug though or if I just need more memory or something.

the term "elephant ears" to refer to fried dough

Expound?

I did flip an underwater bird towards his end of the pool a few times, just in case.

Jenny that's great.

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_PTmxOHH4H9A/THsdCJvJNMI/AAAAAAAAAFc/7TO615fzE9s/s640/ElephantEar.jpg

I know what they are, but that's just what they're called. That or funnel cakes.

It fills me with a revulsion, kinda. I'm realizing it's hard to explain right now than it was when I posted it. I mean, I am equally repulsed by pigs feet, but since they are actually the feet of pigs, I know I'm never going to eat them. Elephants ears, a fairground confection, could conceivably end up on my plate, at which point my imagination would kick in and I start to feel nauseous about eating actual elephants ears.

Funnel cakes is a much more appropriate word, although describing a slightly different food.

Okay we are gonna rumble because elephant ears are the BEST fried dough.

And I'm going to have one on SUNDAY!

not as good as actual fried elephant ears though

the concept of "fried dough" fills me with revulsion almost more than elephants' ears.

You feel that strongly about a pastry batter cooked in boiling oil?

Elephant ears are the best ears because they have the right proportion of crunchy fried outside to pull-aparty doughy insides. AND they're a better vehicle for toppings than funnel cake.

the concept of "fried dough" fills me with revulsion almost more than elephants' ears.

Dude.

Yeah, no I mean, it's just that Dumbo gets me all teary-eyed already and I don't want that negatively affecting my sugar/fat intake. : \

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CORf1liT9cE

the concept of "fried dough" fills me with revulsion almost more than elephants' ears.

What the hell, man. What the hell.

SERIOUSLY....

Things which make me go into an irrational loop of social doubt: supermarket cashiers asking how I am.

I mean, sure, "fine thanks", that bit's ok, but then there's this silence while I weigh up the rudeness of not reciprocating with the sheer fakeness of doing so, like, we both know I don't actually want to know how you are, I've never seen you before

(of course if it's someone I've been served by regularly then that's a different matter, especially if we've had some kind of conversation beyond "fourteen pounds sixty, please" "thanks, bye", though for some reason it still feels a bit out of place in the supermarket as opposed to the local deli or butcher or whatever)

Man, I'm sorry, but complaining about common social interactions pisses me off, and the complaints about "how are you?" are the most common and annoying one. OF COURSE THE CASHIER IS NOT ASKING ABOUT YOUR WELL BEING. He or she means "I acknowledge that you are someone I'm about to interact with, and I am doing so in a welcoming manner." Jesus fucking Christ.

HINT: They also do not care if you HAVE A NICE DAY.

i feel like some of them do, esp in my local sainsburys. some of these dudes give the impression that they think the world is a better place if the people in it are happier, so go out of their way to crack a joke or w/e.

Fine. Perhaps "some" cashiers care, in which case, it's not fake. And those who don't aren't being "fake" either because the vast majority of them are just making friendly noises. It's too bad that coo-ing didn't catch on as a substitute for "How are you?" so that a passing space cadet, Andy Rooney, and my dad wouldn't have to be faced with that affront.

woah.

Wow. Sorry. I apologize. I got irrationally angry!!!

There you have it: proof that that complaint does, in fact, make me irrationally angry.

Have a nice day.

Asking me would I like a drink with my order before I can finish the food part. I told her today to let me finish and then I'll answer that question.

Oh man, I want to give space cadet a big hug now.

I apologize for going off. I'm unreasonably irritable today. That stand against "how are you" is a pet peeve, but I channeled all my other anger into the minor irritation it causes me. I'm sorry.

My cashier usually asks, Did you find everything okay?

To which I say yes, and then we stand there silently as she scans up the groceries and I watch the price screen. I think we're both satisfied with our social interaction.

Once there was this little punk who was like Christopher Walken Jr. He's giving me this weird look and I kinda return it right back to him.

"Weren't you in here a few hours ago?" he asks.
"Nope, wasn't me." I reply.

He scans a few more items and then says, "Well, he looked exactly like you."
"Must've been a handsome dude!" I say.

He completely stops everything and looks at me. "I wouldn't know anything about that." Then all of a sudden, the lightbulb comes on. "… but, I see where you would think that!"

I hate talking to this cashier, I think to myself.

I don't get angry about it necessarily, but here's an example of uncomfortable gratuitous interaction that annoys me.

I ride a commuter bus from Annapolis to DC to get to work every day. The bus holds 55 passengers and is almost always full. Upon boarding the bus, it's traditional to greet the driver with a "hi", "good morning", etc. Whenever you exit the bus, it's sort of expected to say "Thank you".

I just feel like that poor guy sitting there saying "you're welcome" 55 times in a row, he probably doesn't give a shit! He's said "you're welcome" 300 times this week. He knows that you're happy that he got you there on time and in one piece. He probably just wants us all to get off the bus so he can hurry on over to the bus depot, jump in his car and go home.

But then, if I don't say "thank you", I feel like I'm being gruff and standoffish. "What's with that weird guy who doesn't say 'thank you'? Creep."

xp lol pleasant plains.