Throw on Your Best Cardigan and Celebrate Fall 2011 with the Gays of ILX

i don't give a fuck what the place is like as long as i leave loving the cut

I actually went to a gay bar for the first time since I moved back here, ohhh, a year ago? (My mid-evening journey with Stevie D to an empty Pony doesn't count, except for the experience of seeing its amazing cock-spangled interior.) Spent most of the evening talking/dancing/recieving drinks from/making out with this nice older man who I had no intention of sleeping with. (Also, lol, this guy was finally the first to call me out on stealing my hairdo from Janelle Monae.) As I was leaving, I sat down next to this cute guy and started hitting on him, and he was like... "I know you. I recognize you by your hair." It was this guy I had unsuccessfully tried to hook up earlier the summer. We exchanged numbers and some hot kisses and he told me to hit him up today. So, hopefully there are some good things in my near future, and by good things, I mean penis.

Excitement! And three cheers for good things.

Sidenote: I'm always confused by the phrase "older man" because everyone means something incredibly different by it? Not that it matters for the purposes of yr story, but it's such a relative descriptor. My 19/20 year old friends will use it to mean people as young as their early 30s. I guess my mind envisions it as like...a dapper mid-40s to 50s gentleman or something?

I went to a cocktail party at the Hotel Fontainebleau thrown by Miami Magazine, whose editor in chief, I learned yesterday, is a former colleague from my college newspaper. My companion was an acquaintance with whom I haven't spoken since Christmas; his fiftysomething partner went to North Carolina for the weekend to take a deposition. I've always sensed an attraction, which was more pronounced than ever last night, but since I've seen him only five or six times I hung fire. We got on quite well.

We were met there by his friend, about whom I've written on this board a few times over the years -- a spoiled brat artist I've fucked around with a few times. He was less insufferable than usual, thanks to the distraction provided by his new boyfriend who I swear in any court of law is named Pioneer. Around two-thirty, when I was already home dozing, The Painter sends a text message: "Above all, I miss your cock" (there were no prefatory remarks). Around nine-thirty this morning he sends a sheepish followup: "LOL sorry -- what I meant was that I miss your company and would love to hang out with you more often."

but above all, your cock

ugh this guy is obsessed with Prefuse 73.

i hung out this weekend w/ my roommate and a few of his friends who sort of play in a band together, and spent a lot of time listening to music and talking about chord changes and time signatures

as i stood in the corner sipping beer and nodding

how's your roommate?

except for last night when i went to a housewarming for deej's sister and had a very good time

oh he's cool, i've known him for years

One of the few times you'll ever see me squirm is listening to compositional stuff.

do you consider the arctic monkeys to be compositional?

Not in a bad way -- as a listener and critic I feel like an intruder or, worse, an alien.

well, the Monkeys write polysyllabic songs with words like "compositional" in'em.

I'll be sure to keep it to a minimum if/when we meet

Older, in this case, means 50-ish.

I was so pleased when I used "arpeggio" in one of my first published reviews.

on that note I just got back from an okay-ish Firebird suite and a really boring Beethoven 5

I'm watching Liv Ullmann play a Chopin piece for Ingrid Bergman!

by the way I'm gonna be in Chicago in the next four months, gays.

oh cool

i've met Liv Ullmann!

she's so beautiful

table will be here in feb iirc

GAY HEDONISM

"would love your cock to be hanging out more often."

I wonder what accounts for how often I don't recognize names referenced in the gay threads. Today: Monae, Prefuse 73, and Liv Ullman. I'm not the most culturally aware person, but I keep up, and at my workplaces I'm usually considered the guy who is into ridiculously "obscure" or "underground" shit. But here I mark the ignorant end of the spectrum. When I IM w/ Stevie or Corey I do a lot of Googling b/c I get tired of delaying conversation while they explain who Nicki Minaj is.

I do have really notable gaps in knowledge, I guess. There was the eye-opening post where I asked if anyone had heard of this amazing "new" singer named "Eartha Kitt," b/c I had just seen her video for Where is My Man at the bar. Laurel thought I was joking, but alas, I was not....

When have I talked about Nicki Minaj!

oh man -- we're gonna have fun when I visit, guys.

Gay-related event of the day: a few male and female friends and went to a friend's (straight red-head I've posted about before) house to watch the Bears/Packers game through his new projector on to an 8' screen. After the game, he put on a Bound Gods video, which we watched for about 15 minutes over the audio of another football game. Today a bunch of heteros learned about CBT, hemostats to the chest, and other sado-masochistic delights, displayed in larger than life-size while we ate pie and drank pulque.

xp - Stevie talked about her. He gave me a little talk when I said I didn't know who she was.

I know she's annoying

T0mas is the guy who loves going to Th3 H0l3, he basement "back room" bar at a leather bar b/c of his go-to example: we were sitting at the bar talking while the guy next to us ordered a beer while getting a bj.

I feel of like I am the Little Britain character Davith who is really devoted to his identity as "the only gay in the village."

Hmmm, I may be momentarily going to this guys house for dinner and fun.

yay!

yeah, I'm excited. this guy is so cute.

Guys is there ever a time where you decline sex on the first date/meet up? Because I've said yes every single time without exception but I feel like maybe it's also good to maybe wait and build up some anticipation?

Also I feel like a lot of things are changing and I'm maybe starting on a new path re: boys

"maybe" lol

Yes, there are times when I have and would again, and there are definitely times I should have, both because it wound up making me think I liked a guy who turned out to be bad news, or because it was easier than getting to know the guy.

declining can be good -- contrary to the pressure of being a man and bringing back the goods on the reg. figuring out what's right for you is a process.

well, gays, Folsom Street Fair was probably the best time i've had in ages. went with th3o, and we hung out with some of my housemates, watched some whipping demos, and peed together on a human urinal. then we met up with th3o's primary partner and his friends, ate food, then went to the dyke/trans bar and played pool and drank beer....and it wasn't awkward at all. in fact, his primary and i get along really splendidly and we made jokes about th3o and whatnot. it was fun.

then th3o and i went to the Powerhouse, where we were in a backroom orgy with a cast of about 30 other guys for 3+ hours. today we hung out in our underwear and drank coffee and made food til 4 pm.

uh, my life fucking rules.

I should go to Folsom some year, I'm getting kinkier (again) in the right circumstances.

I just ate some bacon. I'm living large too!

Not as large as Gerard Depardieu, I hope, whose scene having a mutual stroke with another 60something man I'm trying to expunge from my mind.

"mutual stroke," heh

aaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

So, uh, nothing steamier than a couple kisses happened, but, uhhh, we seem to really, really like each other. I feel totally giddy right now. He cooked steak for me and we watched Black Swan, which neither of us had seen, and talked about all kinds of stuff. He wants to go to Night Slugs with me on Thursday, which is his birthday.

you threw on your best cardigan and celebrated!

nice, Rev!!

so obviously, things are going pretty well for me right now, but i have a question for all of you b/c of a conversation i had with some friends on Sunday.

i've gone on two dates with this guy. he's cute & smart and definitely finds me to be cute & smart, too. here's the issue: he asks coyly whether he can kiss me. and the last time he asked whether he could hold my hand. and it isn't because he's shy or afraid i'll reject him. i think it's b/c he's really, really bought into the undergraduate consent spiel that lots of queers get nowadays.

before i go on, don't get it twisted: consent is extremely important, and should be practiced to its most logical extremes, at all times possible..

but implied consent is also an important aspect of consent. if my head is on your shoulder, and we're talking and kind of being cute, don't ask me if you can kiss me. just fucking kiss me. by asking me, you totally just made me lose any amount of boner i had for you.

anyway, my friends and i agree about this— that certain things are implied when engaging in various intimacies. but maybe it's just that we're looser and slutty? gah. what do the gays here think?