HEY JEWS

where are u, EDB? maybe hit up a chabad house -- sometimes cool ppl hang out at them

I have tickets for services, though I'm not planning on doing the Day 2s. No one has invited me dinner/break fast though, MAYBE BECAUSE I'M NOT EVEN JEWISH OMG.

Along the lines of "uh I'm not even Jewish," I'd really like to go to the mikveh before my upcoming marriage, but I wouldn't want to defile the thing with my goyness. Do they ask for some sort of proof of Jewishness, I wonder?

afaik you can't defile a mikvah. have fun!

I will Ask A Rabbi but I'm afraid she will tell me to gtfo. Also the mikveh at the Ask A Rabbi's 'gogue has, like, zero atmosphere; it feels like you should be doing some sort of physical therapy in it.

Maybe I should start reviewing area mikvehs on Yelp.

why don't u try http://www.askmoses.com/ which has the benefit of being anonymous when u ask

Why don't you just convert? I sort of assumed you already had!

Nah, I'm not there yet. May never get there, I dunno. I mean I *tried* to marry a Jew, at least! Not my fault that the goyim have taken over J Date!

i don't know how serious u are about converting, but if you want to discuss it w/ me i'm happy to give u some insight into your options

I would like that, Mordy! You are an A+ jew and I value your opinion and your jew learnin'!

Hey Jews, Are we warming up for the big one?

I meant Hey Janitors, sorry

Yeah this may be a good time to start goin to the gym again

I scored a break fast invite, but still no Rosh Hashana invite :(

Gonna eat apples and honey with just my (non-Jew) honey, I guess.

yeah most of my Jew family is in Ohio so I'm pretty much gonna be alone
Yom Kippur also comin up isnt it?

come to me for meals in philly! xp

rosh hashana fap

I had an apple

I would love to celebrate the high holy days in Philly, I never been there

So it starts...tomorrow?

any yehudilxors that ever need a place to stay / place for meals for jewish holidays in philly can always come to me. open door policy

tmmrw nite xp

oh shit I thought today was Wednesday

now I have to buy another apple

it starts at night anyway

Mordy that is a very awesome offer for which many mitzvot points shall be scored! I hope to take you up on it some time.

Yom Kippur on Shabbat this year means extra extra extra long service, huh.

Probably not exceptionally longer than the normal service. When I was in Yeshiva Yom Kippur service lasted from 9 in the morning until the fast ended that night so it didn't matter whether it was a Yom Kippur Shabbos or weekend Yom Kippur, cause there was no more space to fill. (It was horrific.) Very cool tho, cause generally fasts on Shabbos get pushed off until later since it's not right to fast on Shabbos -- but Yom Kippur is the one that takes precedence. One of the rare opportunities where it's okay not to eat on Shabbos.

This is the start of what is doubtless the most significant year of my life, so here's hoping for a good 5772 all around, for everyone.

EDB I am intrigued! Shana tova, everyone.

All of my jew study books are still packed or else I'd give myself a little RH refresher. Instead I'll use this thread to solicit interesting RH tidbits! (ahem MORDY TO THREAD again)

RH tidbit: My parents bought these two giant fish heads (bc fish traditionally symbolize Torah and prolificacy in Judaism & heads symbolize the head of the New Year) and then emptied them out and stuffed them with gefilte fish.

I have decided that I am neutral on gefilte fish. I'm OK with eating some, but I don't actively seek it out or anything.

Do your parents have cats? Fish heads sound like kitty crack.

There are three cats currently living in the house.

Hey, Mordy, speaking of house pets, can you explain to me the tendency toward a dislike of dogs? A few years back, a friend & I were trying to get an apartment in a heavily u-O neighborhood and since I was referred by a religious person all the families were very supportive, until they heard that my roommate-to-be had a small dog, at which point all of them hastily backed out of the phone calls and practically hung up on me.

I asked my reference and she kind of glossed over it, so I know she doesn't hold with that idea, but obv enough people do that it's a thing?

It's generally a very religious thing (like more modern orthodox families will own dogs). I've heard a number of reasons for it.
1. The Talmud has serious problems with dogs. There are a number of mitzvot and things (like prayer) that you're not allowed to perform if a dog is in the room bc they're considered dirty.
2. I think dogs are historically considered as security/attack animals and there isn't really a tradition of owning them as pets which also leads to...
3. There's a kind of communal memory of dogs being used to attack Jews "in the old country" or during the Shoah. I've heard this third answer a bunch.

Two more dog things I can think of that may or may not shed light on the question:

A. During the Exodus narrative the Torah says that there was a miracle and while the Jews were leaving Egypt none of the dogs barked.
B. When talking about unkosher food the Talmud says that treifas (unkosher meat) should be fed to the dogs. (There's actually a Jewish joke based on this premise.)

So I don't know for sure, but this is what I've got.

a lot of religious muslims dislike dogs--iirc muhammad is said to have hated dogs, and i think mostly theyre thought to be unclean--so i wonder if theres a general semitic thing about them

tonight we're gonna party like it's 5999

(is what I say to my family every rosh hashanah)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T_M5-qthA8w

Watching that is making me so embarrassed for those people that my skin is burning and prickling like pins.

I'm sort of thinking about going a checking out a synagogue or something tonight/tomorrow, just because. It would be my first time in 10 years+

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6ZLq_JB8H44

^^^highlight of the holiday thus far!

Happy 5772, Jews!

EDB I am intrigued!

Essentially I moved overseas to start grad school in London.

Tonight I did have something that resembled a festive meal, and even marked the start of a new year. It was totally secular though.

Was just reading about the origin of the Jewish epoch, that is, the starting point - year zero, creation or whatever - of the 5772. I guess in the middle ages a bunch of rabbis simply added up the collective ages of each generational patriarch or whatever in a book of the Torah until they got back to Adam, or some such totally sound scientific method. The common rabbinical line is that years back then were longer than we know them now, which is convenient.

I did get looking at the origins of various other epochs. The Chinese calendar goes back 4700 years or something, and was started more or less arbitrarily by some emperor or something. The Muslim calendar only goes back 1400 years or so, obviously well after the advent of Islam but I believe linked to a famous speech by Muhammed or something like that. But then I got to thinking: why does the Christian calendar start with the birth of Jesus, when obviously time extends back beyond his birth?

It … doesn't?

But even religious Christians don't believe the world began with Jesus.

muslim calendar starts with the hejira, which is joni mitchells last great album. marking the calendar by the hejira represents muslims belief that joni will return and drop something even more bitching than court & spark.

I mean, there's that whole BC/AD thing for a reason. It acknowledges explicitly that time existed before Jesus.

I guess in the middle ages a bunch of rabbis simply added up the collective ages of each generational patriarch or whatever in a book of the Torah until they got back to Adam, or some such totally sound scientific method.

this is ref'd on the "a ho hoy liveblogs the Bible" thread and is also the reason creationists insist the earth is 6000 years old btw

otm

xxp about joni + muslims