Just when you thought it was safe - OK CUPID PART 3: The Return of the WOO!

Apparently. I don't know how much her particular history/baggage plays in, but damn if it's not a fair reaction.

Still, rational brain says it's better this way to head off the future shit, emotional brain is disappointed, frustrated, hurt, and angry over such a fizzled resolution, as it were.

think u dodged a bullet

but damn if it's not a fair reaction

I am going to say damn, then.

Correction, not an _ unfair_ reaction. Yeah.

The only reason I'm not writing the situ off immediately and discarding it with a nod and a chuckle is because it's all happening inside my own head and the myriad neurochemical sluices bubbling about, not someone else's.

I mean, really, chick who freaks at the guy not immediately shutting down all other online avenues before a first date even happens(which the guy was uncertain whether it even would happen) is mad clingy or gas even worse boundary issues than the guy.

Or already found somebody else on the side and is using this ruse just to remove the guy from the situ.

One of the three.

conrad otm

Kind of enjoyed this exchange today. I'm made a little IA by people who publicly answer an OKC question to say that 'even slightly overweight' is a dealbreaker. I mean, that's their prerogative of course, but it's a politically stupid move imo, comparable to people who say that any grammatical error in a profile is the end of the world.

Good Morning,
I'm enjoying your profile. Seems to reflect a sense of peace and calmness that appeals to me.
D

Hi D,

Alas, I would count myself slightly overweight, so don't fit what you are looking for according to your public questions. Good luck on the site though, we all need it!

L

L,
The way you say that makes me feel really petty and bad about myself. Weight is important to me, but, upon a little reflection, I should revisit that question. My answer seems too rigid. I'm sorry if that makes me seem like a jerk.
With apologies.

D

Changed my answer. Prob doesn't matter much- I've often been a day late and a dollar short.
D

I'm glad you changed it! I don't think we'd be a good match but I do appreciate you getting in touch. And was serious in wishing you good luck on the site. PS (and now *I'm* going to sound like a jerk), you have a typo: 'confidant' instead of 'confident'. I don't mind at all but I know some people on the site are fussy about that kind of thing.

L

Technically, that's a plain ol' misspelling, rather than a typo. Maybe I am that type of pedant.

People go through individual answers to questions? Golly.

xp - I called it a typo because I was trying to be gentle, while pointing out that if he was going to be a pedant about weight, he had to be prepared for others to be pedants about other things. I know those aren't quite the same thing and he's entirely entitled to his preferences, but still.

mh - I generally click across to 'the two of us' and just read whatever's on the first page, and for him it happened to be that question.

That's a pretty random approach! When I first signed up I answered a slew of questions quickly and without a lot of deep thought. Some were a little skewed, especially since I was biased after a last relationship. I've edited a little, but I basically said "hell no" to anything that reminded me of my ex!

i sort of signed up for this. not really feelin it tho

xp - If I'd have really liked the profile other than that, I guess I'd have given him more of the benefit of the doubt. But I didn't, and there seemed no reason not to gently make my point. Yeah, I know, people answer that stuff fast and I was being judgemental. But seriously, if I'd accepted a date and it'd gone well and things progressed, that answer would have been on my mind!

I've re-edited a few questions as well - but my last breakup was amicable and mostly I edited to re-include things my ex taught me were not dealbreakers after all.

Such as? Not to pry personally, just curious about this process.

Smokers no longer unwelcome (it just didn't bother me as much as I thought). More flexible about people with children than I was. Upped the acceptable age range.

BTW, excellent choice of username on this thread.

Smokers and people allergic to cats can gtfo.

U breaking my hart.

it's a harsh life

i just got on this today, not expecting much

been getting a lot of messages lately since i changed to what i guess must be a more flattering pic, but nobody i find myself that interested in.

From the two people I've met so far, it seems to be a thing for males to add at least two imaginary inches to their height? I don't really care how tall someone is or isn't, but I find this brazen duplicity troubling.

that's not the only etc etc

it wouldn't occur to me in a million years to do that

oktrends stats say its p common though

been getting a lot of messages lately since i changed to what i guess must be a more flattering pic, but nobody i find myself that interested in.

― thank you BIG HOOS, you brilliant god-man (BIG HOOS aka the steendriver), Monday, September 26, 2011 3:06 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark

lol not picking on a hoos but one thing that became very clear to me in my couple of brief online dating stints is that (some, not all) straight men have no idea how to select flattering photographs of themselves, so much so that i was very pleasantly surprised on a couple of first date occasions, immediately followed by thoughts of "wtf? doesn't he have a female/gay male friend that can help him pick out a photo?" it's just funny; i feel like this never happens in the opposite direction.

Yeah I got that impression from my trawling too. I'm not talking about "ugly guy is so ugly no photo will save him", i'm talking you can tell its a pleasant looking lad, but the photo(s) are complete and utter shite. Smile a little, guys. AND DONT TAKE YOUR GOD DAMN SHIRT OFF.

You have your ubulus muscle that connects to the upper dorsinus. It's boring, but it's part of my life. I'm just gonna grab this shirt, if you don't mind. Just watch out for the guns. They'll get you.

From the two people I've met so far, it seems to be a thing for males to add at least two imaginary inches to their height? I don't really care how tall someone is or isn't, but I find this brazen duplicity troubling.

― Virginia Plain, Monday, September 26, 2011 8:54 PM Bookmark

As a 6'0 guy, it pisses me off to no end when 5'10-5'11 dudes claim to hit the big mark. :(

I feel sorry for them

I'm 5'10", I'm cool with that.

My ex is back on OKC and still claiming to be 4 years younger than he is. Tempted to report him to the site, but we have stayed friends and I want it to stay that way, so this probably not the best idea even though I massively disapprove.

I went on an OKC date on Sunday with a guy who'd listed himself as 5'9" - I guess I am so used to the 5'9"ers actually being 5'7" that I was surprised that he was actually... 5'9"

It went well, and we're supposed to go out again.

Hm maybe fall will reinvigorate me to try this again. Right now I'd have to be, like, sure, I have a free Wednesday in November.

so i filled out my stuff and added some pix and in my first set of matches was someone i know o_O

If you live in a city, that's going to happen. I know at least 2 people in my listings.

My housemate's still in my top 5! Its kind of hilarous really, who are we kidding.

Good work, MP; was it me? If you like, we can go on a fake date and I'll pretend to be socially awkward and incapable of forming complete sentences and you can practice how to extricate yourself from such situations.

I have my third "date" tonight. At what point does this get old or frustrating? I'm finding it all terribly amusing.

Found a girl who looks like me in a wig -- messaging now.

haha it was not you! if it had been, i'd have given you five stars and sent you a photo of my cat, of course

Aw, with charm like that, you're sure not to be single long:)

I thought this site was going to be skeevy guys hoping to get laid, but all anyone wants to do is send me reading suggestions and invite me to museums. What am I doing wrong?

add cleavage shots and "casual sex" to your profile

worked for me!

*dons v-neck shirt

Haha, I knew I had overlooked a few things. Tonight's guy said he was 5'7" and he was of course, my height; also I think he underestimated his age by about 10 years. Anyway, he loves Jack Lemmon so we found some common ground.

Laurel, you should date him. I don't think he's your type, but your fashions would complement each other. I've never felt so underdressed in my life.

I'm really suprised by all this lying about height stuff. Height isnt something I ever think or care about.

You say that now, but wait until a four foot tall dude shows up

he already did

j/k (or am i)

and you were expecting a 4'2" dude...

lol Rob isnt 4 foot tall jim u barstool. Hes at lEAST 5 foot :P

http://wiki.answers.com/Q/How_big_is_a_dwarf%27s_penis