Kenny Dalglish Won't Be Delivering the Module: English Premiership 2011-12

ok there is more detail then.

bbc.co.uk takes years to load anything at best of times, and i'm on a phone, so i'm workin blind here.

Defender Onuoha's mother, who acts as his agent, had previously sent a message to Marwood and Cook, explaining that while she was "ravaged with cancer" it would not prevent her negotiating on behalf of her son.

Dr Onuoha then received an email, allegedly from Cook and addressed "Brian", which apparently ridiculed her use of language in describing her illness.

The email is reported to have read: "Ravaged with it!!...I don't know how you sleep at night. You used to be such a nice man when I worked with you at Nike. G".

xp

Saw this earlier, thought they were insinuating "ravaged" as some kind of Manc version of "smashed it"?

So glad they lived down to my expectations.

Like LG said, etc.

oh yeah, sorry. but still:

Dr Onuoha told the Sun: "When I opened my emails and saw the message, it was the worst day of my life, even worse than being diagnosed with cancer

...

insulting email v. cancer? which would you be more afraid of getting

w in the actual fuck

Ok, it was a slightly strange thing to say in an email (imo) but to make mock of it is ... It's insane?

Seperate issue then as to how moronic you have to be to send the message back to her

Incredible

has nultathustra spaken about this yet?

does ravaged have a predominantly sexual connotation? not to my knowledge?

i just assumed cook had a giggle about her flamboyant use of the word in the middle of sorting a contract dispute and was giving his fellow negotiator a nudge in the ribs

yeah i think so

"ravaged" definitely has Catherine Cookson-y "raped" connotations

ravished/ravaged HILAIR pun is always a possibility tho

i think of 'ravaged' as a 18th century sort of sexual connotation...

ravaged is the new raked

ya i have ravaged as something a lord might do to a milkmaid alright

not buying it tbh

cook is a moron for saying his thing was hacked though

there doesn't need to be the sexual connotation for the email to be massively crass, is the thing

doesnt hurt doe

ravaged defo has sexual connotations, not least when cook is going "eh eh eh eh" basically in that message. there's blatant sexual connotations there. it's not in itself some act of unspeakable evil but once written down in the public sphere any form of joke or jibe even remotely connected to or directed at someone's terminal cancer is going to see the perpetrator hauled over the coals repeatedly. he's history.

but what if he was hacked????????!?!?

like the kids do these days?????!?!?

not to ride out for the cookster but her bringing it up like that in the middle of trying to bump wee nedum's contract up another 20k might also be seen as crass idk

in any case twisting direct quote "ravaged by cancer" into "ravaged by 'it' lol!" seems so feebly convoluted as to be farfetched

"the old cancer's been giving me a right good shagging lately lads but if you can chuck in personalised number plates we might strike a deal by tea"

if anything seems like there's a missing email between what's been reported tbh

Steed Malbranque's representatives have dismissed reports the Frenchman has retired from football to care for an ill family member.

Reports at the weekend suggested the former Fulham, Spurs and Sunderland midfielder had quit St Etienne as his young son was suffering from cancer.

But Malbranque's representatives have released a statement saying he does not have a son and has not quit football.

anyway your collective idol speculation is bizarre to me
http://artaban7.files.wordpress.com/2009/07/golden-calf.jpg?w=291&h=200

ravage comes from the french ravager, which means to ravish; usually - in english -- it means to despoil or plunder, but both of these do have attendant sexual meanings

not impossible that he was fnar-ing at the word "ravage" bcz he'd actually confused it with "ravish" himself, which if possible ever so slightly adds to the dickishness...

jesus...so fried today. awful xpost

Ravage, ravishing defo have sexual connotations in my book, no doubts on that.

Pretty sure it was Balotelli who hacked Cook's email when he was playing with his iPad during Italy's match this weekend tbh

http://sport.sky.it/static/contentimages/original/sezioni/sport/calcio_italiano/2011/09/05/mario_balotelli_italia_ipad_getty1.jpg

jermaime'ravishin' defo

defoe is kinda crap

i wonder how modric would do as attacking mid

not greah imo, end product not his strong point in he lsst third

Defoe looked sharp againy city tho. All depenx on adebayor anyay

lol worknight ffs

i always like steed as a player whenever i saw him play. hope his kid gets better.

Steed Malbranque's representatives have dismissed reports the Frenchman has retired from football to care for an ill family member.

Reports at the weekend suggested the former Fulham, Spurs and Sunderland midfielder had quit St Etienne as his young son was suffering from cancer.

But Malbranque's representatives have released a statement saying he does not have a son and his family are fine.

"Steed trusts that the rumours will now cease immediately," said a statement.
Continue reading the main story

Steed does not have a son and his immediate family are all in good health

Steed Malbranque's representatives

Malbranque, 31, switched to St Etienne in August to end a 10-year stay in English football, during which time he made a total of 336 Premier League appearances.

London-based solicitors Thomas Cooper added in their statement: "Steed has read with concern the recent stories currently circulating about him and his family.

"He would like to reassure all of his friends in England and throughout world football that these stories are wholly without foundation.

"Steed does not have a son and his immediate family are all in good health. Steed does not know the origin of these stories but would like to stress that they are without merit."

---------

what an odd rumour to start.

Yeah, that was an odd one, saw Darren Bent lamenting the loss to the game on Friday night then searched and found that no serious news outlets appeared to be reporting it

Even though it's now been dutifully laid out in the BBC's "what are tweets" idiot-proof style I'm still a bit confused by the Cook narrative

Like is it possible that "Cancer" is Brian Marwood's nickname here or

Very Cook-like of Cook to try and execute some hapless work experience kid for this though, kudos

Yeah I'm kind of confused by that Cook story as well - it does scan like there's an email that hasn't been reported.

The only thing I can think of is that Cook was emailing while drunk on holiday and sent an email that a) made minimal sense and b) went to the wrong person.

I guess Marwood made some zing about it to Cook, and then Cook mistakenly replied with Richard Hammond-style faux-disapproval to the original Nedum's mom e-mail because he's the kind of guy who gets really hi-power jobs without understanding how e-mail works or being able to string a sentence together

if ilf tried hard enough could one of us make ceo of an epl club i wonder

Well, somebody managed to basically take over Notts County by putting on a fake moustache and saying "hello I represent a very rich consortium", right?

mumble mumble 'correct due diligence was observed' mumble

Tbf, that's how they all do it, it's just that in that case they hadn't the necessary readies to run the club for the crucial 'first month' period before selling

obviously the thing here is to try and take over a club i wanna ruin

give us a list, we'll do a full and rigorous analysis on the finances thread

So which club are we going for? I think if we told people that D Mac was an old Irish left back representing a consortium then no one would notice and Roy Keane would make up some story about battering him within hours.

maybe Wigan shd be put out of its misery

And put the lovely Roberto out of a job?

I think we'd let him keep his place for now

tbh i had hopes of running a club on an even keel under FFP snicker

Wigan wd be a fun project club, i'm struggling to find hate teams in the top flight this season bar Salford

i mean there's Blackburn obv but i like the way the Venky's are going there

Drunken Scottish manager too, that's always entertaining