itt blogs instruct you how to be a man

http://www.americasmanliestcities.com/

BROUGHT TO YOU BY COMBOS

LA got less manly after i moved there

Good to see that my hometown of Louisville, KY rated #3 in Salty Snack Sales

and that my current city, Baltimore, MD is #1 in number of people with Manly Occupations

*grunt of manliness*

“Manly Kryptonite” Category / Emasculating Criteria*
Cities also lost points for an overabundance of emasculating criteria – factors that reduced a city’s manliness rating. These factors included the number of home furnishing and décor stores, cafés/coffee shops, sushi restaurants, “modern” male apparel stores and cupcake shops. Cities with higher concentrations of these types of stores lost rating points.

I am proud that Chicago has dropped 17 points. We just got a new sushi restaurant in our neighborhood, too, so I'm hopefully we'll fall into the bottom half in 2012. Maybe the Bears will move to Iowa.

Chicago has way too many bead shops to be manly. Fuck that, I'm moving.

how the hell was Charlotte the most manliest city in American in 2010? Are bankers more manly than other professions?

Okay wait, how is San Francisco consistently topping the "emasculating" category not some homophobic bullshit?

Not even on the list, I'm not a man anymore

I see MAine is forgotten like on most lists - good

Maine is pretty manly iirc

no - not Mike Hanle y's Maine - maybe Bill Green's Maine
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ov_63AACotc

can't spell maine w/o M-A-N iirc

can't be a Mainer without sticking yoru hand in the tree beast

How is sushi not "manly"? You're eating fucking RAW* MEAT**!

DD's post made me think: you know what I think is manly? CBT - cock/ball torture. But no, I'm sure if prevalence of participation in CBT in a particular city were a factor, it would be in the faggoty girly crap "kryptonite" category.

*not always raw, but often

** fish is meat, FUIUD.

but maybe CBT is already a sub-category of "Salty Snacks"?

My ex-bf used to say - and he was being serious - that it took a real man to take it up the butt.

I recently read an article about gaining weight in the anus - I wonder if that can happen

My ex-bf used to say - and he was being serious - that it took a /real/ man to take it up the butt.

Makes sense to me.

really it just takes a butt

Weird that your quoted text shows the italicized "real" with slashes.

Maybe bc I'm using ZING!

maybe it takes a real man to slash the butt

oh lord

Whoa.

I mean, I get what he was saying, and I've heard other sodomites say it: it takes a sense of security in your masculinity and some physical fortitude, but really, it's kind of a gay argument.

It takes a real man to zing the butt

Sadly I do not think being a power-bottom counts as a "manly occupation" in these rankings.

It's sad he was etc etc

it takes a man to be such a powerbuster powerbottom as to actually motivate out into the hallway during the power

"Do Real Men Wear Halloween Costumes?"

http://bit.ly/utOfEg

Do real men suck cock?

AW: At the end of the day, we who are interested in men's wear are always in "costume" (well, most of us). Not everyone has perfectly-fitted, light-padded Cucinelli jackets, or high-watered Thom Browne suits. We are the ones who are always "vulnerable," having paid our dues 364 days of the year. We are always out of the comfort zone. What is more abnormal than looking (slightly) normal on a day of abnormality?

aaaaaghghhhhhctlkdhfalhfla<?<:K

that dude has a micropenis

itt blogs instruct you how to clench your butthole so tight your head will never not be stuck up it

i mean i kinda get that this article is just straight trolling, but still

man sometimes i want to punch everyone at esquire and i've never punched anyone

Not wearing a Halloween costume during Halloween is actually the ultimate costume. (...) Last year, I took the risk and wore the "ultimate costume." Some girl asked me what I was, and I replied "the best dressed one here."

you do not understand halloween. kill yourself now.

tbf that is a truly horrifying "costume"

tbf that is a truly horrifying "costume"person

if I don't wear a costume, I always tell ppl I'm dressed as a douchebag

Austin Wong more liek Austin Wrong.

his tone is national review online-esque and reminds me of religious anti-halloween types, except replace "god" with "self-involvement."

Damn, dude, if you don't want to dress up for Halloween, don't dress up. You don't have to write an article to justify it.

Like I bet that guy is just tiresome.

Last year, I took the risk and wore the "ultimate costume." Some girl asked me what I was, and I replied "the desiccated husk of a man, forevermore devoid of joy and wonder"

Another good one is to look the person in the eyes and deadpan "You're worst fucking nightmare." Although there could be some creepy gender dynamics there so use it wisely.

Also be certain to use the correct "your."

depending on intent, your first version was also correct

"Breaking news: A pretentious douchebag was murdered at a Halloween party tonight..."