Innocuous things that make you irrationally angry (a list thread)

--people who talk to themselves

a sign near my house warns walkers to use EXTREME CAUTION where the footpath goes to a sidewalk - as if the sidewalk has dragonso n it or something

Down the road from my place is a tree with a lowish branch over the footpath. There is a small metal warning sign nailed to the branch warning you to not hid your head on the branch. BUT IF YOU CAN SEE THE SIGN YOU CAN ALREADY SEE THE BRANCH AAAAARGH FUCKING FUCKITTY FUCK AAAARGH

Also, 'Baby on Board' car stickers, just while I'm on a roll of rage

xp

--people who talk to themselves, especially when they're your boss in a small office so that you're always being distracted from your work because you think they're giving you orders

"watch out for the special branch"
"I dont see whats so special about it"
"I've got a degree in computer science!"

http://media.onsugar.com/files/2011/02/07/3/1416/14161005/5f/52805877_7462c56d05.jpg

elevator of death

I have one that PERFECTLY fits this thread. Tea. Or rather, the British attitude towards tea, that it is a substitute for all that is fun or exciting or progressive in life. Go out? Dance? Fuck? Scuba Dive? Experience things beyond your own net curtains? No, I'd rather have a lovely cup of tea, thanks. AAAAARGHHH

I think you're confusing "British people" with "Boy George" -

as an British born person I would have to say those things all come above cups of tea, except maybe scuba diving which made me claustrophobic.

I do like a nice cup of tea though...

It so super hot yesterday when I left work at close to 7:00 pm and I just wanted to sit on the train and read and go home and somebody sat next to me and touched me with their hot thighs and hot upper arm and I got so IA.

Thigh, just one. Touching me with both thighs would have been a whole different issue.

was it the most beautiful person in the world?

People who try to open a door and find it locked, then try that same door three more times.

"exterminate"
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/1/1f/I%27m_Gonna_Spend_My_Christmas_With_A_Dalek.jpg

--people who talk to themselves, especially when they're your boss in a small office so that you're always being distracted from your work because you think they're giving you orders

Not my boss, but there is a dude in my office that constanly gives a running commentary on his day, that can be heard through pretty much half the office. "Let's see.... now, where did I put that file?....okay... turn this thing off.... what the?.... oh! there it is.... well now why would I have done that?". He sits a cubicle away from me, so I constantly think he's talking to me.

was it the most beautiful person in the world?

Could have been but I was too hot and IA* to notice.

Synonymous, really.

when i am on press junket for my latest action film and lady from Des Moines Register who yawned while asking me a question about plot mechanics butts in front of me in line at Arby's

I hate these coffee jerks!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VssO5bKFJU0&feature=youtube_gdata_player

Lol @ the tea thing. I have an innocuous packet of regular tea bags in the office and (presumably because I'm British) all the Americans love commenting on it ALL THE TIME, all the while making numerous cups of exotic or fruit or weird tea from one of the million other boxes in there and talking about how tea's just fantastic, isn't it? And did you know you can get this great tea from this amazing place downtown? And I'm like yeah I'm just having a PG Tips.

PG Tips sounds p exotic tbh.

Yeah it's dead classy!
http://www.cakegroup.com/archive/lib/client_content/alnmonkey_0.jpg

Readability increasingly makes me IA.

why

Because I like seeing the page as The Creator intended, and b/c on my iPhone, if it can't deal with the page, there is no way of opening it in Safari or otherwise.

argh people referring to a 'cheeky pint' or a 'sneaky cocktail'. You're 30 years old, you can drink alcohol if you want without it being all "naughty" ffs

I Use Readability a lot.

i am irrationally angry

http://i.imgur.com/9ZJqr.jpg

30 minute bus ride, 3 pages that wouldn't load in Readability. Reloading did not work; there is no link to see it in a real goddamned browser. FUUUUUCK READABILITY!

That oil is sideways, I know that.

PIC not oil.

Being called 'Hun' and 'Hunny' (spelt that way).

Is readability like instapaper?

I don't use it on my phone, just on desktop browsers. Takes a paginated article with shitty sized fonts and makes it into one long one that is easily read.

I only use it b/c Echofon on iPhone opens all links in it and there is no way of changing that. Time for a new Twitter app, but I don't want to have to mess with it.

You have it configured wrong, echofon does not open in readability for me.

Weird. I have looked diligently and extensively and repeatedly for a way to reconfigure it but no dice.

Scientific or research articles that say "a search on amazon.com reveals X number of books on X, and Y number of books on Y" like AMAZON IS FUCKING SCIENCE. BECAUSE ITS NOT!

Cookie recipe that says "yields 40 cookies" & actually only yields 20 small cookies.

On a similar note, recipe sites where the commenters proudly say they substituted all the essential items! Vegetarian soup? "I loved this, I added some bacon and chicken stock though as it was too bland and hubby wont eat anything without meat in it!". *&^&^$

(for that matter, said commenters always framing things in the context of what "hubby will eat", as if they only exist as a chef for their damn family)

hubby can go microwave himself a hot pocket while wifey eats her delicious vegetarian soup!

Ohhhhhh substitution reviews make me CRAZYPANTS. If it's just one or two ingredients fine, but I've seen ones where they replace everything and give it 5 stars and its like, you just gave Your own recipe 5 stars because what you made is not THIS RECIPE. I make a really good braised pork ziti I got off epicurious.com and there's a review where the chick replaced the pork with GROUND SIRLOIN and basically made a pasta and meat sauce instead of a slow braised meat dish, Aggggghh!!!!

Exactly!!! Uggghhhh. I have also seen comments where p much everything bar the tomato sauce or whatever was replaced completely, I mean wtf!?

JBR OTM also :)

That all said, I'm all for experimenting with recipes/changing out things but you're making a new dish when you do, damn yer eyes.

why would you *look up* a pasta & meat sauce recipe?

a. brown some meat (add veg if you're going the full bolognese route)
b. add to sauce
c. cook pasta
d. mix, eat

My IA thing is if you're going to review a recipe, review the recipe as it's written. If it needs substitutions, say that. But all these self-indulgent assholes just use it as a conversation piece to talk about their OCD need to not cook anything remotely similar to the recipe, it drives me crazy.

argh people referring to a 'cheeky pint' or a 'sneaky cocktail'. You're 30 years old, you can drink alcohol if you want without it being all "naughty" ffs

Yeah this is shit, and it's spreading.

The tea thing I sort of see but think cheese or cake are the same in the UK. I hate people who talk about their love for cheese like they're talking about The Goonies.

why would you *look up* a pasta & meat sauce recipe?

if i was to make pasta and meat sauce i'd have to look up a recipe?

a) i don't know what "browning" meat means. where in the oven would you do this? and how long for? i need that in exact minutes otherwise i have no idea when it's done
b) where has this sauce magically sprung from?

i can do c) and d) and really this is why i just prefer to shove pesto on the pasta and fuck making a sauce

the veg would obviously make things more complicated. what veg? how much of it? when do you add it? again, how long?

Browning, there's a clue in the title of that technique...

In fairness tho sometime even for simple recipes it's good to look up a method, some chefs have good or clever ways of improving something ostensibly basic.

paint it brown?