the crimes of george lucas ('90s on)

"Any child that has seen this movie is finding that their natural attraction to members of the opposite sex is being replaced with an attraction to a 7ft devil with elephant feet, a 25 inch tongue, polka dot skin, a fish snout, and two phallic eyes that jut out like hard erotic pokers. For the Love of God! If you've got this devil in your house, remove it as soon as possible! "

lol

"Jillian! We have a surprise for you in upstairs in your bedroom!"

http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3581/3367427674_f7201f3864_b.jpg

lolling at walking in on some kid sitting on Jar Jar's face. AMERICA WAKE UP!

ya rly I feel like we got off track by not delving deeper into that amazing amazing page

im astonished that you werent clued in on landover baptist already djp. it's been around forever! it's a parody site btw

kil everything

I figured it had to be but omg if it was real the world would have seemed a brighter, more amazing place

Take that parody aside, I still can't believe they sold seven-foot Jar Jars to children.

Just picturing the suspense at the birthday party when they wheeled that thing in covered in wrapping paper and bows.

Then imagining the children screaming in terror.

It's almost as weird as this guy.

http://thebiglead.fantasysportsven.netdna-cdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/08/Embarrassed-dog-yearns-for-a-PETA-rescue1.jpg

That poor dog!

a bulldog in bama gear http://i.imgur.com/aKxbn.gif

actually idk what breed that is

Lucas: "Hey James, do you think we should add some overdubs into the climactic scene of 'Jedi'?"

JEJ: "No."

Lucas: *clicks recorder* "Hey, that's great! Print that!"

JEJ: "NOOOO"

http://www.sandcrawler.com/SWB/Images/StarWars/Walkers/walkers-jarjar-pair.jpg

a few years back i bought one of these^^^ from sainsburys -- the white one bcz yes i'm a racist

eventually the tongue deliquesced into small blobs of pink mucus

"George, patch in the one from Revenge of the Shit; I'm 80 fucking years old."

xp

I once interviewed one of the Lucasfilm dudes, and you wouldn't imagine the omerta in effect. He just would not confirm or deny that the original negatives are either gone or unrepairable.

sticky... tongue toy

at this point i think part of it might be that putting out the originals would feel to him like a capitulation, especially since there is literally no one on the planet who prefers any of the modified versions and nobody would ever buy any of them again except by accident.

The remastered Blu-Ray sticky tongue toy will be a delight.

We have a 52" screen at home and they took up maybe a quarter of our screen. If I zoomed in, it was blurry to the point of making me nauseous trying to watch.

1. i've got a 26" screen so this sounds perfect for me

2. but frankly, if i want my kids to experience the thrill of star wars, sitting on a couch watching TV is not going to fulfill the brief

yeah those versions are fine on my completely shitty tv i gave a departing housemate $20 for, but i think that's about the limit.

What, you going to fly them around in the actual Millenium Falcon?

part of me is glad that i might be able to avoid the crushing disappointment ill feel when my kids dont give a shit about star wars

i didn't realize until i bought them how long it had been since i'd actually seen the real movies, though; when luke drove into mos eisley and no one stepped in poop or fell off a dinosaur i was overcome with peace.

These films were never that good. You were six.

omg

And you were forty-eight, its okay.

empire's neck-and-neck with khan for Best Space Movie, the others are fine.

some parts less fine than others.

are you speaking of negative space?

I prefer the newly tinkered ending of ROTJ with Hayden and his long hair and awful smirk: it injects the only bit of pathos into a movie that even in 1983 looked like Lucas had been tinkering with rejected ideas for years.

Thank God I was a teenager who preferred Annie Hall

These films were never that good. You were six.

OTM!

(this is why the prequels didn't bother me, aside from Jar-Jar)

for christ's sake everyone knows that

Morbs, you sound like the guy spitting opinions on Alvy's neck.

i preferred annie hall too; what teenager wouldn't

I mean, really – sanctimony in a Star Wars thread? gtfo

These films were never that good. You were six.

the thing about this argument is that all movies are shaded by the person you were when you watched them, your mood, your intelligence, etc. so being a teenager who preferred Annie Hall is not really any better than being a six-year-old (or 36-year-old) who likes star wars

just the attitude of "a teenager who prefers Annie Hall" is going to shade them toward preferring Annie Hall because teenagers are all about being intellectually superior

Easily rebuffed by the fact that the older you are, the better you are.

"I didn't read comics; thank god I was a teenager that preferred The Magic Mountain."

http://babycostumeoutlet.info/wp-content/uploads/costume%20baby%20yoda%20halloween%20costume_2.jpg

look, all the add-ons and tinkerings are just.... not really that material. they are the same movies. and that original landspeeder looked like shit, even in the 70s

i've said it before, but by my lights the only real downside to the additional CGI is that CGI tech is always moving on, always improving, so 20 years from now, much of the CGI will look even lamer and faker than it does now. practical effects don't have this problem. so lucas - or his heirs, or whatever - will need to go back and keep touching that shit up ever few years to keep pace. until finally somebody just creates a really good full jabba suit in real life and rotoscopes that in over the CGI.

the magic mountain kinda is a comic

Easily rebuffed by the fact that the older you are, the better you are.

yet here you are, baiting people about Star Wars.

I was a 4-year-old who loved "Star Wars" at the drive-in btw

I am dying that AICN devoted most of that article to a wholly innocuous change to a mostly terrible (but super fun to watch) movie and threw in the blatantly ludicrous LMAO forever change at the end as an "oh btw they did this too", which had the unfortunate side effect of making the original "NO" complaint seem even more trivial

I hope George Luca's son continues destroying them untli one day they are like Mork from Ork