Kenny Dalglish Won't Be Delivering the Module: English Premiership 2011-12

Ribery at Chelsea has definite lols written all over it. Doesn't he hate Malouda? And as if the Premiership hasn't had enough prostitution scandals in the past year or two...

Sort of think Jenas would do pretty well in a team as, ahem, direct as Villa.

Bayern say Ribery rumours are nonsense. Phew.

Parker fee was £5m apparently, not bad business at all.

Think he'll be good for Spurs for a couple of seasons.

Bendtner sr. was at Stoke's headquarters earlier today, but supposedly the deal is off.

Everton shed another striker (beckford to Leics probably), how many does that leave them with? Oh well at least you know you'll get a full season out of Saha.

And Yakubu to Blackburn?

Not technically EPL but:

DONE DEAL Wolfsburg have signed Alexander Hleb on a one-year loan from Barcelona.

Forlan to Inter as well.

parker's a very good, dynamic all-round centre midfield player. With Sandro out he'll at least provide a better screen for the defence than we'd have had otherwise for now. With everyone fit I don't know if he makes the first team, though.

Malouda refusing to leave Chelsea. That's the spirit Flo.

Why are they trying to sell Malouda? That makes no sense.

Look forward to seeing evidence that Hlb is still alive when I next see Wolfsburg. Is Diego still there somewhere?

hleb

Diego is supposed to sign for Atletico Madrid in the next few hours.

on loan

Perfect fit there, basket case club with basket case player. Could be wondrous, could be a train wreck.

Bellamy on his way to Liverpool for a medical.

http://www.fifa.com/worldfootball/clubfootball/news/newsid=1502440.html?cid=rssfeed&att=

goodbye next failed french youngster, hope you do better than aliadiere

VICENTE TO BRIGHTON!

This is *the* Vicente? Wow. I was sad to hear he had retired after last season.

I thought Sunu looked good for France U-20, maybe there's a buyback clause.

(How many times has Aliadiere scored against Arsenal now, for like three different clubs?)

Malouda out to make space for Pereira, or as makeweight in Modric deal perhaps?

where's malouda going?

NOWHERE!

Juventus looks unlikely as they've already signed Eljero Elia.

He's said he wants to stay, though rumours linking him with Spurs/Arsenal.

Pereira is def an attacking wing-back style defender and can play midfield, but not far enough up the pitch to be competing with Malouda for the same spot, I wouldn't think.

Malouda would have gone to Arsenal but surely not now Arsene has gone mental

QPR have signed AC Milan youth product Tommaso Trani on a two-year deal after the goalkeeper was released by the Rossoneri.

QPR's head of youth development Steve Gallen moved quickly to snap up the Italian after watching him train with the Premier League club.

"As soon as I saw him walk through the door at the training ground, I thought: 'Wow'. And within a minute of watching him train I wanted to sign him."

gallen falls in love with a trani hur hur

... in the past, I mean, before marble misplacement (xp)

don't get it really. any epl club should be happy to have malouda imo and that's not just fantasy football bias on my part.

Leicester City left-back Paul Konchesky tells BBC Sport's Paul Fletcher what players who are not on the move get up to on deadline day: "With training finished for the day, I'll be putting my feet up and watching the final few hours of the transfer deadline to see whether we sign anybody. At Leicester you never quite know."

With insight like that you can see why they went straight for the Konch.

fulham have bid for hutton, betley going to west ham, spurs might actually get their roster down to 25.

I MUST NOT BELIEVE I MUST NOT BELIEVE I MUST NOT BELIEVE...

I agree, think we should hang on to Malouda. Course him saying 'I don't want to leave' when asked by a journalist does not necessarily mean Chelsea have tried to sell him.

jenas crouch hutton bentley out

Fuuuuuuuck

Trying to work out who's going to fill 'The Crouch Role' for DMac if Crouch actually goes. Lennon is the current favourite, BAE second, might stick a fiver on an outside challenge from VDV.

Lennon, VDV, Kaboul in that order is my guess.

I think BAE has a year's grace period.

Kranjcar has a shot if Modric goes last-minute and he's expected to start.

Mikel Arteta to Arsenal might still happen apparently.

That would break my heart. Love Arteta.

Arsenal need another easily breakable player.

Arsenal need another easily breakable player.

hmmm

Depends on the system, if we stick 451 and adebayors holds it up/finishes better than crouch then lennon prob next in line for my mindless abuse, he's been very poor this season so far.

BAE has been good, but is always due a fuckup tbh. I'm probably on his side these days, you just have to allow that a guy with his flair going forward is gonna leave you light at the back.

If Dawson/Bassong/Kaboul are gonna be left as first choice CB's then we'll have soft and stupid goals conceded, i'll have lots to moan about there. Hopefully a bit more mindfield cover than Krancjar provides will improve their chances of defending basic crosses.

VdV hasn't been fit since what, March? Harry should have dropped him long since, but I still love him.

Don't reckon Luka or Niko will be a problem if they stay, I'll always re for flair midfielders.

It's probably gonna be Defoe, though even he looked very good against City when he came on.

The Fail's reporting that Joe Cole will be allowed to commute from London to Lille.

as revealed on this thread, hours ago. Keep up Mail

Mateja Kezman joining BATE is actually stepping up a level from playing in Hong Kong. What happened to that guy?

Royston Drenthe to Everton on loan apparently. He was good once wasn't he?