Kenny Dalglish Won't Be Delivering the Module: English Premiership 2011-12

yep, that'd do me

talk on crouch now is loan for rest of the season, us taking on full wages. won't go elsewhere cos he loves us soooo much the missus won't leave london.

Any talk on Jenas?

Can see us loaning you guys half of our reserve team at this rate.

McGarry's track record this summer is 1 million per cent wrong, to quote Harry.

Joe Cole now talking to Villa according to the Nult.

Bet Hazard doesn't go anywhere after all this.

jenas has indeed unfortunately been mentioned by a messageboard itk. for what little that's hopefully worth.

can't wait for cole's predictably depressing villa interview where he exclusively reveals lille seemed a bit foreign.

1154: As mooted by Phil McNulty earlier, we can confirm that Liverpool's Joe Cole - who was thought to be on the verge of joining French side Lille - is now in talks with Aston Villa.

...eh?

Talking of Upson, he was a free agent right? Did he sign for anyone?

It's more entertaining than thrilling last minute swoops for Alan Hutton and former Aston Villa star Steven Davis, I guess

Apparently he signed for Stoke without anyone noticing? Getting Upson and Woodgate for free was pretty astute on Pulis's part.

VICENTE TO BRIGHTON!

Shaun Maloney to Wigan is a bit of a weird one, he was OK at Villa but visibly hated not being in Scotland with every fibre of his being - not sure if Wigan is better in virtue of being farther north or worse in virtue of being Wigan

He can't stay for fit for more than 20 minutes at a time too

Most inane Tweet of the day comes courtesy of Mark Bright:

"I understand several Premier League Clubs are keen on Shaun Wright-Philips, but nothing will happen until Owen Hargreaves signs for #mcfc"

Why? Have they previously been relying on SWP to provide emergency cover in defensive midfield?

They've got to balance their finances

Yeah, I can see Maloney being a poignant "Apps: 5 (10 as sub) goals: 0" footnote on Wikipedia

I'm kind of amazed that such a shy, mumbling sadsack could ever be motivated or confident enough to be a top level footballer, but the boy can hit a free kick

Someone on the radio this morning said "Shaun Maloney has unfinished business in England" which is a bit odd considering he came back to us because he had unfinished business in Scotland.

Using Ismael's builder analogy - I think Shaun will finish his career with three sets of foundations dug and random piles of bricks lying around while he argues with the wrong council about planning permission.

Cracking wee player when he's fit and interested though. Which is about 6 games a season.

The SWP/Owen Hargreaves thing will be to do with meeting the CL squad rules, won't it?

Cole to Lille is confirmed. Good luck to him.

That won't last

I'm always pleased to see Brits trying their luck abroad, but another malign consequence of The Best League In The World is that it almost always has the air of tragedy about it.

he can commute from London if he so chooses

It's only a half season loan

Danny Murphy phoned him up and confirmed there's a go-karting track in Lille.

redknapp is fucking awful

which one?

All three

Sandra's a fairly handy striker iirc

harry. i meant harry.

Kind of amazing that people can vandalise a Wiki page within two minutes of Everton being linked to a loan signing:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Denis_Stracqualursi

Everton shed another striker (beckford to Leics probably), how many does that leave them with? Oh well at least you know you'll get a full season out of Saha.

sign crouch sign crouch sign crouch

Following a rumour with Everton in the August transfer window most people will ask where will he be playing.. my guess is as a roof in the summer months to shield the players from the sun with his massive ears

After a few trophyless seasons Everton signed Stracqualursi to be painted silver and sit in the trophy cabinet pretending to be the FA Cup.

Looks like be might be a decent acquisition on loan. Prolific for Tigre.

VICENTE TO BRIGHTON!

― r|t|c, Wednesday, 31 August 2011 12:11 (1 hour ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

?????????????????

Mauro Zarate to Liverpool?

2007–2008 Unión de Sunchales 21 (5)
2008–2010 Gimnasia-LP 45 (6)
2010– Tigre 35 (40)

went from being rubbish (6 in 45?) to more than a goal a game? something seems fishy/

Yep, someone's mucked about with the numbers. It was 22 goals in 35 games for Tigre before.

VICENTE TO BRIGHTON!

The next Sturridge to Chelsea?

2007–2008 Unión de Sunchales 21 (43)
2008–2010 Gimnasia-LP 45 (45)
2010–2011 Tigre 35 (139)
2011- Everton 0 (0)

glad to see someone's put the proper numbers back up.

Sturridge is going to Chelsea?

SkySportsMobile Sky Sports Mobile
#Wigan could be shaking up their midfield options shortly, linked with both Giovani dos Santos and Jean Beausejour. #transferdeadlineday

Dos Santos to Wigan has this air of weary inevitability about it. Surely there must be a Spanish club willing to stump up for him?

Parker has gone to Spurs

Ribery to Chelsea doing the rounds. Sneijder to United back on.

So Spurs get Parker, Chelsea sign Ribery and swap Malouda and Benayoun for Modric....

http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_Q8DzHn3JFIc/TE62334_cwI/AAAAAAAAACQ/9ymfSGkeRzo/s1600/collins_nonce1.jpg

is that for Ribery or for me...

1359: At Villa Park, meanwhile, a source close to the club has told BBC Sport's Alistair Magowan there has been no movement on Alan Hutton's switch from Tottenham. But the club are likely to reach an agreement today with Shamrock Rovers' Enda Stevens to join in January. The left-back wants to finish the season in Ireland and take part in the Europa League against Spurs.

This is kinda depressing for a club who were gunning for fourth not so long ago.

I had presumed you would 'ave a last go for Modric, but we'd've heard about it by now surely

Rovers are in Europe and Villa aren't. It's clearly a step down for the lad.

From the Guardian

The Ribery to Chelsea rumour is swirling with increasing force. A few thoughts from our very own Bundesliga boffin Raf Honigstein on Twitter (@honigstein): "A few initial thoughts. a) he's CL-tied. b) reported wages on offer far too low; c) German transfer list closed, so Bayern couldn't bring anyone in, even if they sold."

Ribery has looked really good so far this season, and with Robben injured (again) not so sure they will want to let him go. Muller doesn't like being shunted onto the left wing, nor does Kroos. They have got Alaba but he prefers the right side. Would be good move on Chelsea's part tho.