Kids In The Hall - what's your favorite sketch(es)

god, i LOVE that one.

xpost: i got that off a fansite with transcrips, dan, so i dunno.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X5ruckFA5MM

butcher: $12?

gavin: no, i do not think that i will sell.

"so will I"

Kevin: Hey videos. Awright. Mahogany. I hear it's [?????]'s best movie. Could I borrow it?

Dave: [pissed but can't articulate it] I haven't seen it yet.

Kevin: Tell ya what. I'll see it tonight and bring it to ya first thing tomorrow.

Dave: Promise?

Kevin: Will do.

[Cut to next day, at the supermarket. Dean is absently applying price stickers to cans of produce.]

Dave: Did you bring my video back?

Kevin: Slipped my mind. But I feel awful about it. I tell ya what I'll do: I'll bring the video tomorrow, plus I'll buy ya one. Do ya have The Godfather?

Dave: No. So you'd really do that?

Kevin: Will do.

[Next day; Kevin is mopping the supermarket floor. Dave is getting apprehensive.]

Dave: So, did you bring my videos?

Kevin: Slipped my mind.

Dave: Should I even ask about The Godfather?

Kevin: Don't bother.

Dave: Man, this is starting to cost me money, ya know. Soon the video store is going to be on my ass and rightly so, 'cause when you rent a video, you enter into a sacred trust!

Kevin: I tell ya what. Let's have dinner tonight. Pesto's at eight. I'll bring the video, I'll bring The Godfather; you know that Paul Simon album you've been wanting me to tape? I'll tape it and bring that too, *and* dinner's on me.

Dave: [Feeling like a jerk] You don't have to bother with all that; just bring me the video.

Kevin: No, I want to. I'm just sick about the whole thing.

Dave: OK. Pesto's at eight.

Kevin: Will do.

[Cut to night; it's after 9:30, and Kevin is nowhere to be found.]

Waiter: Would you care to order, sir?

Dave: Could I have another brasket of bed please?

[yes, brasket of bed; Dave is a gallon of nerves in a quart jar. Kevin walks by the front window of Pesto's with his girlfriend.]

Diane: So, you'll bring the condoms tomorrow?

Kevin: Will do.

Dave: Hey! What up, huh! [Almost hits Kevin, but can't bring himself to] You were supposed to meet me at the restaurant at eight, where were you?!?

Kevin: Slipped my mind. But I feel horrible about the whole thing.

Dave: No! I don't want to hear it! You're the king of empty promises! What we're gonna do now, is we're gonna go to your place and get my stuff, understand?!

Kevin: I have to take my friend [the girl] home first, but I tell you what I'll do. I'll bring your Mahogany video, [Dave starts to shake his head; he's *not having it*] The Godfather video, the Paul Simon tape, a bottle of Scotch, *and* a written apology. I'll meet ya in a half hour.

[Dean stops shaking head abruptly]

Dave: OK. Sorry I had to crack the whip.

Kevin: Forget it.

[Kevin and Diane board a Greyhound.]

Diane: Shouldn't you've told him I live in Winnipeg?

Kevin: Slipped my mind.

Bruce: Why are you giving me this, cause you don't know how to communicate with me, cause my Mom is dead? [sets down the casserole] Mosquitoes live for only one day, you know, so if they skip breakfast, I guess they had a bad childhood. If death is the great teacher, then what about my science teacher Mr. Gorgenchuck? Who, when you leave the fan on, his ears whistle. So we always leave the fan on.

"you're an butt freak"

Mark: No I'm doing fine, thanks.

Bruce: okay. These guys, smoke.

Mark: They smoke.

Bruce: Yeah!

Mark: Wow.

Bruce: And there *bad*! And you know what??? They taught a dog to smoke! Do you believe that?

Mark: Sure, I believe that.

Bruce: Yeah, well it's true! And they taught him to beg for cigarettes! Door to door! So right away when this poor little devil would ring your door bell with his paws, you'd know right away what he wanted! So you'd give him a cigarette, and he'd take it back to these guys that waited by the fence to smoke, and they didn't care who saw them smoke! These guys sure smoked!

i saw them perform this sketch live in nyc at town hall, so great

we've got to clean up the country!

"you're an butt freak"

They were showing Brokeback Mountain on the On Demand service on a flight I was on recently. I kept thinking about this sketch and messing with the passenger across the aisle from me.

"let me help you with your sweater clip. ... oh, the wind"

What ever happened to Bruce? His solo films were the weirdest, most brilliant, surreal genius bits, and look at what he's been doing since.

And Dave's on Celebrity Poker and Kevin's in Epic Movie...

man, all those guys were the funniest people ever, it's really sad they aren't making really funny movies or writing books or even doing their own shows. I saw one of the episodes of News Radio that Dave wrote and it was unbelievable.

Daryll and the teenage girl that Mark plays may be my favorite characters.

xpost

on the plus side, they seem to have learned their lesson that they work best together, cuz their recent tours have been really really great.

i went kinda nuts.

I think I'll get season 3 and 4