"I thank ewe" http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/3/3e/Arthur_Askey.jpg
― snoball, Friday, 18 July 2008 15:05 (seventeen years ago)
always had my suspicions about him.
― Dingbod Kesterson, Friday, 18 July 2008 15:12 (seventeen years ago)
Mutton could be more embarrassing...
― Tracer Hand, Friday, 18 July 2008 15:15 (seventeen years ago)
Redefines the phrase "sheep dip"
― snoball, Friday, 18 July 2008 15:18 (seventeen years ago)
The judge was going to send him to a psychiatrist, but realised that he was a dyed-in-the-wool pervert.
― snoball, Friday, 18 July 2008 15:20 (seventeen years ago)
Ewe've been bah-ed
― jel --, Friday, 18 July 2008 15:25 (seventeen years ago)
The defendant tried to convince police that he was a vet, but they realised that he was spinning them a yarn...
― snoball, Friday, 18 July 2008 15:26 (seventeen years ago)
WAKE UP SHEEPLE!!!1!
― StanM, Friday, 18 July 2008 15:28 (seventeen years ago)
These puns have shorn all the humour from the situation. Really, they are shear agony to read.
― James Mitchell, Friday, 18 July 2008 15:28 (seventeen years ago)
The man's defence lawyer tried to knit a convincing alibi, but it came unravelled in court.
― snoball, Friday, 18 July 2008 15:31 (seventeen years ago)
A man was recently arrested for a similar offence in a secluded car park - the charge was sheepdogging.
― snoball, Friday, 18 July 2008 15:32 (seventeen years ago)
"he was later spotted sheepishly buying a leg of lamb from his local co-op"
― jel --, Friday, 18 July 2008 15:33 (seventeen years ago)
So where do you buy mint sauce flavoured lube from anyway?
― Noodle Vague, Friday, 18 July 2008 15:33 (seventeen years ago)
(xpost) We are now rapidly approaching the realm of: http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/a/ae/Tworonnies.JPG ...although now thank to NV we're not...
― snoball, Friday, 18 July 2008 15:34 (seventeen years ago)
(xpost) I imagine that such an item could be procured from a bah-ck alley sex shop.
Now you're just ovine me on.
― Noodle Vague, Friday, 18 July 2008 15:35 (seventeen years ago)
You guys are scrapie the bottom of the barrel here.
― NickB, Friday, 18 July 2008 15:37 (seventeen years ago)
Yeah, we should cutlet out.
― Noodle Vague, Friday, 18 July 2008 15:39 (seventeen years ago)
The man had misunderstood the term "mutton busting"
― snoball, Friday, 18 July 2008 15:39 (seventeen years ago)
http://newsimg.bbc.co.uk/media/images/44838000/jpg/_44838426_poohsticks_getty_226.jpg "Pooh Sticks is free"
― the next grozart, Friday, 18 July 2008 15:42 (seventeen years ago)
The court ruminated for a long time before coming to a verdict.
― snoball, Friday, 18 July 2008 15:44 (seventeen years ago)
You could say he was licking his chops
― Tracer Hand, Friday, 18 July 2008 15:50 (seventeen years ago)
He wanted a bit of rump
― snoball, Friday, 18 July 2008 15:52 (seventeen years ago)
^^^ I'm sorry, that's just low quality...
No need to mince words
― Tracer Hand, Friday, 18 July 2008 15:53 (seventeen years ago)
Hope he doesn't go anywhere near East London, with a reputation like that he'd get proper shanked up.
― Matt DC, Friday, 18 July 2008 15:55 (seventeen years ago)
When he arrives in jail, the other prisoners will flock to get a look at him, because they will have herd about his attempt to fleece the judge.
― snoball, Friday, 18 July 2008 15:56 (seventeen years ago)
He's already been widely lambasted.
― Noodle Vague, Friday, 18 July 2008 15:56 (seventeen years ago)
He'll be doing twenty to ten in the pen...
― snoball, Friday, 18 July 2008 15:57 (seventeen years ago)
Not really a yarn to tell his grandchildren though.
― Matt DC, Friday, 18 July 2008 15:59 (seventeen years ago)
"Yes your honor, I was naked when I hoofed it"
― Tracer Hand, Friday, 18 July 2008 16:00 (seventeen years ago)
The man was caught because witnesses recognised his woolly jumper.
― snoball, Friday, 18 July 2008 16:01 (seventeen years ago)
Apparently the guy told the sheep that he only wanted to give her a stroke, but it sounds like he welshed on her.
― NickB, Friday, 18 July 2008 16:02 (seventeen years ago)
Police also suspect that the man was trying to supply the sheep with grass.
― snoball, Friday, 18 July 2008 16:02 (seventeen years ago)
Experts say that this case will open up a whole new field in criminology.
― snoball, Friday, 18 July 2008 16:06 (seventeen years ago)
When the first issue of Sheep World arrived, he realised he'd been fleeced.
― jel --, Friday, 18 July 2008 16:06 (seventeen years ago)
The man told reporters the incident had left him "in a deep trough"
― Tracer Hand, Friday, 18 July 2008 16:13 (seventeen years ago)
"Did I know it would feel good?" he said, musing aloud. "No, it was just one of those haunches."
― Tracer Hand, Friday, 18 July 2008 16:15 (seventeen years ago)
The sheep was physically okay, but left with a few grazers.
― NickB, Friday, 18 July 2008 16:17 (seventeen years ago)
However, she did go and get slaughtered straight afterwards.
― NickB, Friday, 18 July 2008 16:18 (seventeen years ago)
LOL
― Tracer Hand, Friday, 18 July 2008 16:19 (seventeen years ago)
There's no point bleating about it.
― snoball, Friday, 18 July 2008 16:21 (seventeen years ago)
"When I heard the police siren," he said ruefully, "I knew something wasn't kosher. So I legged it."
― Tracer Hand, Friday, 18 July 2008 16:23 (seventeen years ago)
He's also had difficulty getting a bank loan - his credit rating is offal.
― snoball, Friday, 18 July 2008 16:37 (seventeen years ago)
"When we realized what had happened," said the chief constable, "we just burst out laughing. Andouille couldn't stop."
― Tracer Hand, Friday, 18 July 2008 16:46 (seventeen years ago)
Damn, andouille's made from pork.
― Tracer Hand, Friday, 18 July 2008 16:49 (seventeen years ago)
The farmer called the police on his mobile. He has a contract with Phones4Ewe.
― snoball, Friday, 18 July 2008 16:56 (seventeen years ago)
ARGH
― Tracer Hand, Friday, 18 July 2008 16:56 (seventeen years ago)
Despite rumours, there is no video footage on EweTube.
― snoball, Friday, 18 July 2008 16:57 (seventeen years ago)
This follows on from an incident last week, where several Premiership footballers were accused of roasting a sheep.
Man brings clown to redundancy meeting
― just another country (snoball), Sunday, 15 September 2019 15:59 (six years ago)
"Steven, a Christian, thinks fencing prevents knife crime"
no he doesn't..
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/av/stories-50101362/steven-a-christian-thinks-fencing-prevents-knife-crime
― Mark G, Friday, 25 October 2019 11:17 (six years ago)
Producer and Editor: Joanne Whalley
scandal!
― genre: post-britpop (bizarro gazzara), Friday, 25 October 2019 11:23 (six years ago)
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-hampshire-50486724
Alton's Christmas skiing marmot decoration sparks row
A giant ear-muff wearing marmot has sparked a mixed response in a Hampshire town after it was revealed as part of its Christmas display.
― koogs, Wednesday, 20 November 2019 15:17 (six years ago)
residents of southern town hate unusual newcomer shocker
― The Man Who Was Thirsty (Noodle Vague), Wednesday, 20 November 2019 15:24 (six years ago)
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-suffolk-50760470?ns_campaign=bbcnews&ns_source=twitter&ns_mchannel=social&ocid=socialflow_twitter
Woman, 89, granted 'big biceps' stripper care home wish
― calzino, Thursday, 12 December 2019 16:44 (six years ago)
Her somewhat unorthodox wish was granted when the stripper, dressed as a fireman, turned up at the Glastonbury Court care home in Bury St Edmunds two weeks ago and began swinging his belt around wildly before stripping down to his underpants
'two weeks ago' is stretching the definition of 'news' imo
― Receive Your Simulated Fluids Before The End of The Year! (bizarro gazzara), Thursday, 12 December 2019 16:48 (six years ago)
I'm missing Laura K already!
― calzino, Thursday, 12 December 2019 17:07 (six years ago)
Pringles tubes burnt to crisp in M1 lorry fire
― just another country (snoball), Sunday, 12 January 2020 20:27 (six years ago)
Wine bar occupies former gents' toilet site
Cue the "this is a toilet venue", "the beer tastes like piss", etc., etc. jokes.
― Being cheap is expensive (snoball), Friday, 7 February 2020 19:40 (six years ago)
ffs BBC...
Lesbos refugee centre burns amid migrant tensions
The article itself has the much less tabloid headline Greece migrant crisis: Refugee centre ablaze as tensions rise.
― Being cheap is expensive (snoball), Sunday, 8 March 2020 13:14 (six years ago)
Profile of Robert Oppenheimer, controversial father of the atomic bomb. Storyville: The Trials of Oppenheimer. Tonight, 10.30pm, @BBCFour https://t.co/OKN48N1W0A— BBC Four (@BBCFOUR) August 13, 2020
― koogs, Friday, 14 August 2020 16:13 (five years ago)
you can take all yer pots and pans and your atomic weapons and your famous quantum chemistry and molecular physics theories + chuck 'em all in the bin!
― calzino, Friday, 14 August 2020 16:24 (five years ago)
someone else one twitter - "i am become death, destroyer of leeds"
― koogs, Friday, 14 August 2020 16:31 (five years ago)
why would they not delete??
― Li'l Brexit (Tracer Hand), Friday, 14 August 2020 17:38 (five years ago)
US election: Do you need Jesus to win the White House?(maybe because you don't trust the other two candidates?)
― Being cheap is expensive (snoball), Tuesday, 6 October 2020 12:18 (five years ago)
Your 'wacky backy' BBC news caption of the day...Cannabis crop at former Coventry nightclub 'worth £1mhttps://ichef.bbci.co.uk/news/800/cpsprodpb/14626/production/_114949438_nca.jpg
― Being cheap is expensive (snoball), Saturday, 17 October 2020 12:44 (five years ago)
Islam: Sunak lets the taxman take the strain
No, the government isn't going to tax Muslims. The article was written by Faisal Islam, the BBC's economics editor.
― Being cheap is expensive (snoball), Wednesday, 27 October 2021 17:47 (four years ago)
Piet Mondrian artwork displayed upside down for 75 years
Insert "modern art, amirite!?" joek here.
― Being cheap is expensive (snoball), Friday, 28 October 2022 17:47 (three years ago)
Jeremy Clarkson warns some of his cider might explode
― you gotta roll with the pączki to get to what's real (snoball), Saturday, 22 July 2023 13:43 (two years ago)
Paul Heaton and Sugababes play Glastonbury with Dua Lipa to headline later
Makes it sound like Heaton and the Sugababes are performing together.
― you gotta roll with the pączki to get to what's real (snoball), Friday, 28 June 2024 16:36 (one year ago)
Which aspiring sewer will measure up to impress the judges?
― you gotta roll with the pączki to get to what's real (snoball), Thursday, 14 August 2025 19:58 (nine months ago)