"Can I say you're my girlfriend on Facebook?"

FB ethics question: Some lunatic that I once had lunch with a few years ago wrote a screed about me (including the lolzy claim that I'm a 'douchebag hipster') on a friend's status message that I had commented on. The status message was about GRRM and I was complaining that he's not a very good writer, which is what provoked this guy. Anyway, I never speak to this person irl and had no idea he had such strongly held feelings about me. I blocked him on FB so I wouldn't have to deal with him again and asked my friend to take down the post denouncing me. My friend however claimed that he didn't want to censor the other guy and remove his message. I forced the issue and ultimately it was taken down but here's the question: Should my friend just have taken it down immediately bc friends don't let crazy ppl be jerks to friends on facebook, was he right that you shouldn't censor anyone, even if it's a personal attack on YOUR status message, or option (3) lulz internet?

friends don't let crazy ppl be jerks to friends on facebook

^^^^^this above all else is mandatory

I guess it sort of depends on the particular details of the situation. Is there any chance the guy was joking? If it were me and the guy was obviously just being an asshole needlessly I probably would have deleted the comment without having to be asked. So, in short, Lex OTM.

Yeah, he definitely wasn't joking. It was pretty vicious.

Yeah that's definitely not cool. :/

jus a lil facebook lets all be cool

Yes he should have deleted that. What the hell. It's Facebook, not a public forum for opinions.

Wait, that's not right. I mean it's this person's Facebook page and this person is not the government and this anti-Mordy comment is not political speech and somebody's FB wall isn't a public space.

So getting all lofty about not wanting to censor someone who says shitty things about your friends is kind of misplaced, imo.

if a friend of mine let another person badmouth me on fb and didn;t remove the post i'd consider that person a bad friend. "My friend however claimed that he didn't want to censor the other guy and remove his message." = this person needs to get a grip, maybe, it's fb not parliament.

lol yes

i'd just retaliate tbh

(3) lulz internet

There's this thing that has happened over the last 6 months or so on Facebook and I am unsure whether it is a bug or a feature.

1) I friend someone

2) Their Add Friend button turns grey and becomes Friend Requested

3) They are listed as my friend under Events that are both invited to and I see status updates from them, however, they continue to show as just Friend Requested and I can't post on their wall, see the details that are made private, &c. Moreover the button remains grey with the Friend Requested legend.

What's going on here? They haven't rejected the request, coz then it would say Add Friend again. But they don't appear to have accepted it either. Weird.

that is weird. i'd email em directly.

the people or FB?

the people, FB isn't gonna care

if you friend someone and they have their status privacy set to friends of friends youll see their updates in yr feed before they act upon your request

If you get a friend request now, the default option isn't to deny, it's to defer. So unaccepted friend requests can sit in limbo, forever, and do not appear on that screen.

i collect them

The new 'On This Day In xxxx' feature is both at times interesting and horribly depressing. I dread some of the reminders of the past that are to come as the year progresses...

however, they continue to show as just Friend Requested and I can't post on their wall, see the details that are made private

You can set it so some (or all) ppl cant post on yr wall/see yr updates/etc with group filters, they may have added you but put you in a "dont show anything" group. Ive done that to some people (mostly fam). So theyre "added" but they still cant see or do anything on my profile.

if a friend of mine let another person badmouth me on fb and didn;t remove the post i'd consider that person a bad friend. "My friend however claimed that he didn't want to censor the other guy and remove his message." = this person needs to get a grip, maybe, it's fb not parliament.

yes unless friend was going for secret option c, let the badmouther look like the jerk he is to all mutual friends. (but still not a good option given your polite request)

They've changed the photoviewer again: the matting is now white.

also the way status updates are done, it seems like its now designed to trick you into tagging your location

not as bad as when twitter added per-post location tagging and most twitter apps did the one-time check to see if they could grab your location, then tag it into every post by default

buttons overlaying photos is super wack

^^

nagl faceboo

do you mean the way it combines profile pictures in the icon next to a group message? i like that.

Mine's still a black matting/background?

o it will come

(x-post) Maybe you havn't got it yet? FWIW, I accepted the new mods last night, and also when I look at pix on fb mobile, I still get the black matte. The new one is a small white border (like in a old printed snapshot) w/"like" & "comment" buttons imposed on the bottom left-hand corner (ice cr?m otm).

Hurrah, the new privacy controls have just kicked in as well. FUCKIN FINALLY. One feature Ive been waiting on - previously, you couldnt go back and edit who could see a post. NOW YOU CAN.

(most of mine were filtered, but a brief spazout I had a couple weeks back I suspended my fb. when i reactivated it, it changed my post settings to "friends" which meant everyone could see all my posts for about a week before I realised grrrr)

f5 while viewing a photo still resets it to the old not ugly as a motherfucker mode..

there are also greasemonkey scripts/firefox addons that can hook you up with various stuff, i.e. nothing you comment on appearing on yr profile

How could a browser plugin control something FB side? idgi

it *can* do a bunch of other things one might very likely not want, but

https://addons.mozilla.org/en-US/firefox/addon/better-facebook/

http://betterfacebook.net/

Editable privacy controls will be a nice feature, I look forward to that one reaching me.

Well they were always there tbh. Just not as obvious as they now appear to be.

Not the ability to edit the settings on old posts?

Oh sorry no thats new, and thats what is v welcome to me (thankfully all my old posts were mostly already filtered, but I am now able to correct a few that werent)

Indeed, that's the aspect that I am looking forward to. Especially in combination with facebook's current obsession with digging up the past and throwing it at me...

Haha good point. Yeah a while back Livejournal offered the same thing - well, you'd always been able to edit your post security - but they added a "global post change" setting for paid users so you could say "change all public posts to locked". Dear god, was that a lifesaver. 12 years of 1000's of posts, all tucked away in one fell click.

oooh, I didn't know LJ did that! Looking forward to fixing all my old entries now. Thanks, Trayce!

I miss the "post a link/video/photo" etc bar when you went to put something on somebody else's wall.

just paste the link?

That doesn't seem to be working every time when I do it. Plus it seemed a bit more user-friendly when there was a box for it to go in.

Is there a way to change a setting so you are always automatically signed out of chat? This used to be how it was for me, but lately every single time I log in it resigns me into chat and shows me as available. I don't want to chat via FB, so I'd like to just leave this option off all the time.

I just tried it and it was fine for me, i unticked "available to chat" and then i was signed out of chat. i signed out and in again and i was still signed out of chat