Kenny Dalglish Won't Be Delivering the Module: English Premiership 2011-12

Bburn 1 Wolves 2
QPR 0 Bolton 4
LFC 1 S'Land 1
Fulham 0 Villa 0
Wigan 1 Norwich 1

1702: Bolton and Wolves fans - may I suggest you print off the Premier League table this very minute for a cut-out-and-keep moment to show the grandkids in years to come?

i hate this demeaning bullshit

1702: Bolton and Wolves fans - may I suggest you print off the Premier League table this very minute for a cut-out-and-keep moment to show the grandkids in years to come? At this rate, both teams will finish the season on 114 points each with the title decided on goal difference. Actually, they have to play each other don't they? So that can't happen. Oh dear... brain... melting...

I like to track the point where if this was in a pub Lyon would be glassed by the people he was speaking to

haha, xpost.

Darragh, it was Spurs P Everton P (as a result of you 'shoppers')

gosh as a fan of lowly Wolverhampton Wanderers it is indeed a treat to see the side in a position they've never attained before

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_GdiNk3-IPE

Just think Noodle you've got trips to places like that Old Trafford and Anfield to come. Coo. What a day out those will be. Could you ever have dreamed?

Lyon is now quoting the MOTD editor tweet which appears immediately to the right of the text in the Twitter feed

^^ yeah just noticed that too ;_;

Nice to see them calling the Arse by their name, at least

Song following Meireles in going for a bit of a Bickle. Arsenal look like Arsenal, but Gervinho looks like he could be pretty direct.

yup. ramsey been a bit too gareth barry for my liking, not enough cesc.

OMFG AAAAAAARGH

i cant remember the last time i saw a team spend so much time in the oppositions box without having any sign of a chance let alone scoring

do all teams look like arsenal does today at the beginning of the season? or is this a special type of awful?

Arsenal are sort of unique in the Premier League in tending to cut through the opposition midfield like a hot knife through butter then reaching the penalty area and skilfully passing the ball with great accuracy to a defender

first game of the season is traditionally cagey and sucks balls. we aren't awful*, just frustrating.

*in control defensively and in possession, regularly getting in the box, just fucking up time and again with the last ball.

Like Barcelona's sometimes frustrating refusal to shoot is usually in service of the creepily clockwork-like greater plan, but Arse's penalty area spazz-outs are maddening and inexplicable

It's tantric football guys

I wouldn't be surprised to see Arshavin pulled off (lol) for Theo or Chamakh 10 minutes into the second half.

Calling either of these sides' first 45 awful is way over the top.

More importantly, who made the decision that the first team should play in knock-off strips?

And yes, Arshavin has clearly decided that he's not arsed to run at a defence that's clearly gagging for it, so bring on the Walcott.

God that was poor. Carroll, I just, eurgh.

'11/'12 season notable so far only for the discovery that Veetle works on my phone.

gervinho's a diving cunt. ryan taylor never touched him...

nah he didn't dive... his forehead just got too heavy...

This may be stating the completely blindingly obvious but no one who's played today is getting anywhere near the title.

bitter Spurs fan ruling us out already

only got one song (unless he gets sent off)

dunno why Theo wasn't on from the beginning, no surprises seeing Arshavin so lazily impotent.

I like Song a bit more after that Barton stamp.

How about the new boy?

wtf?

That's some bullshit.

OH FUCK OFF

gervinho gets started on: gets a red.

OH FUCK YOU ONLY A FUCKING YELLOW WHAT IS FUCKING WRONG WITH YOU

can't wait for Barton to sign for Arsenal in a couple of days now.

Much more simulation from Barton than Gervinho there.

oh shit joey barton gets touched, goes down like he's shot

The ref's been reading his Twitter. He likes the Field Mice, there's no way he could be involved in any trouble.

No one's signing Barton now, he's waiting out his contract at Newcastle.

Those decisions were all correct, although Barton is a terrible person

two games at st james park - two unjust sending offs for joey being a dick.

how does barton not get a red for that?

he's just picked a man up and shouted at him cos he done a dive ain't he

he manhandled him and pushed him about - i've seen reds for a lot less

With Mp4xA, gervinho raises his hands therefore needs to go, Barton probably guilty of Ungentlemanly Conduct in pulling him up so yellow?

he pulled him up pretty violently and was getting well into it, isn't there a rule for provocation?

what arsenal have lacked in continuity inside the box, they have up for it with interesting hairstyles