Let's bitch about our stupid, annoying co-workers

several ppl would, in fact, call in sick with headaches, and no one ever said a thing about it. made me so angry bc I am too good a person to do that.

There is a guy I work with that calls off of work a LOT, as in like four or five times a month, but the funny thing is its because there is always some sort of "emergency" at his apartment. I didn't really think too much of it until I started talking to some coworkers that have worked with him for a long time and they told me that he always has "emergencies" and they actually started keeping a tally of them. I kid you not, in the past three years his apartment has flooded four times, lost power eleven times, been without heat seventeen times, or had some sort of unspecified emergency about twelve times. Time for him to get a new apartment, imho.

I eat crunchy apples, just finished one. Sorry world.

I do sometimes acknowledge that an apple is particularly crunchy and apologise for the noise - no-one seems to mind too much but for all I know they're on their wee piece of Internet right now complaining about me.

I think of the apple crunching as reward for putting up with 10-20 hours of golf chat every week. Dudes play a round for four hours on a Sunday and are still talking about it on Wednesday.

I just ate a handful of sugarsnap peas.

I kid you not, in the past three years his apartment has flooded four times, lost power eleven times, been without heat seventeen times, or had some sort of unspecified emergency about twelve times

Sometimes when I've been running really late for work I start mentally inventing some home emergency to lie about. Luckily every time this has happened I have been the first person in the office anyway and so not embarrassed myself.

My new officemate has an unspecified autism spectrum disorder so I've been trying very hard not to complain about him on this thread - poor form given the title - but he talks to himself all day and slurps constantly on drinks or pen lids and I find it really quite hard to work with him a metre behind me. Think I am just unusually unable to filter out unwanted noises though - which, ironically enough, is a symptom of ASDs.

(He also inhibits my ILXing as he likes to stare at my screen and read words off it out loud, and once as I frantically alt-tabbed away from my text-mode browser he asked what the black window with coloured text was, and I lied that it was a work-related script, and then he listed every work script he'd ever seen and what colours it used and seemed concerned that he must be missing one. Damn my stupid neurotypical dependence on little white lies.)

Sometimes when I've been running really late for work I start mentally inventing some home emergency to lie about. Luckily every time this has happened I have been the first person in the office anyway and so not embarrassed myself.

Difference is, you were actually planning to come to work and needed an excuse as to why you were running behind. This guy just doesn't come in at all that day.

I like to suddenly scream out "REFLECTIONS OF A SNEAKY AIRPORT FLOOR LICKER" all day

So a coworker sent out an email this morning politely requesting that we refrain from cooking popcorn in the microwave because it gives her headaches. Popcorn girl fired back a doozy of a response about it being "unfair" and, I shit you not, "unconstitutional" for any of us to "deny her dietary preferences". Which was made even more lolworthy considering the initial email was not at all specific and addressed to the office in general.

It's all right there in the 9th Amendment. How can everyone else not see it?

Oh shit, get your own popcorn out, it's ENTITLEMENT BATTLE ROYAL.

(FYI the headache sufferer will prevail because the co-worker would also be within her rights to ask co-workers to refrain from exposing her to nut allergy triggers)

Exactly, this should be fun. I'm waiting for round three.

Fucking popcorn lady needs to die.

There'll be blood in Lake Michigan by Friday.

'James while John had had had had had had had had had had had a better effect on the teacher!"

jvc, I hope you've planned how to contribute to this battle.

Do you know the headache-sufferer? I mean, your co-workers have to discuss this problem, right?

Man, I love it when people claim shit is unconstitutional. I'm hoping for a plea of "freedom of expression" through the medium of popcorn.

lol - the time honoured workplace tradition of fanning the flames.

one skill I have yet to master is writing emails that immediately take up the offensive position even if there was no conflict preceding your message.

Do you know the headache-sufferer?

I do, and she is a really great co-worker and one of the least complainy type people I've ever worked with. There has been no further updates, so I'm wondering if HR or a partner stepped in. Or maybe its just simmering and we'll be treated to a full-blown microwave popcorn related freak-out that culminates in something flying out of a window.

Do you think she really gets headaches or is she just tired of it like you.

Who is fanning the flames? I mean, I am, in spirit, but I think that co-worker and jvc should respectfully but firmly stand up to the popcorn fiend.

I've heard of dietary requirements and pesky food and chemical allergies but sheesh....I can't stand these litigious types. I mean I have a relative with serious (and sometimes downright annoying) food allergies but not to the point of driving people NUTS.

Like I said, someone has a psychological problem and it should be dealt with gently at first.

full-blown microwave popcorn related freak-out that culminates in something flying out of a window.

It should be the microwave itself imo

would like to see the full text of the email, actually.

I do love the idea of antipopcornism being Unconstitutional.

Thank God for jvc and coworkers that the USA has not adopted the Universal Declaration of Human Rights. Eleanor Roosevelt was overreaching when she insisted on smelly snacks being a natural right.

why the fuck must everyone blabber outside my office door

The partner who shits everywhere also can't make coffee. Every time he makes the coffee, the filter collapses and there the coffee is full of grounds. I don't understand why this happens - it's not complicated.

It's his constitutional right to make shit coffee, STALIN.

Why isn't this thread on 77? I wouldn't say anything that could be found on the internet, but still.

i bring my own thermos - I am above these simple muck drinkers, reeking in their own filth!

I have things to say about things but I can't say them here. This is a problem for me.

just think them at us

oh i have been

Je55e, go ahead and start privacy-protected co-worker bitching thread on 77 to go along with this one!

There's that 'slowly retail will kill you' one

or you could come up with a genius impossible-to-trace internet persona.
thermo thinwall is taken.

xpost

Haha well, I went from Jesse to Je55e, but I'm worried that that code could be broken.

My secret anecdotes aren't really that interesting, but I want to bitch. I'm bitching via email instead.

Either stop sucking your fucking teeth and making stupid clicky noises, or visit the fucking dentist, for fuck's fucking sake.

― James Mitchell, Monday, 11 October 2010 09:11 (10 months ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Seriously, I don't know why or how his mouth is making this noise every 30 seconds.

i'm kind of curious, i don't really know what sucking your teeth would involve or sound or look like. i'm imagining a relation to that thing old people do where it looks like they're chewing when they're not. whatever that is.

dentures?

It's a bit like the noise made when you're sucking on a boiled sweet and moving it around inside your mouth, but without the boiled sweet.

How's the popcorn sitch, jvc??

^^^this is important

I think he said she's on vacation?

Oh, I guess I missed that.

My boss just popped a bag of popcorn. But that's fine b/c a) she very rarely does that and b) I have anosmia, so she could slow roast pig manure and I wouldn't know the difference.

did you just put a shower head on full over the yoilet or did you pee?

Email to office reminding people to wash dishes, etc... From the person who least frequently washes dishes...

use paper plates duh!

The popcorn girl is obviously a total idiot; but it can't be overlooked that "the smell of popcorn gives me headaches" is some fucking straight-no-chaser liar liar bullshit.

what about kettle corn