oh wait, haha, he does tell me that the movie means nothing:
"In Dark of the Moon, Bay’s machines mean nothing."
― ☂ (max), Monday, 4 July 2011 02:53 (twelve years ago) link
Bunch of fanboy bros sitting around thinkin "wish Bay's fantasy of mankind's upheaval was about more than just dynamism tbh"
― polyphonic, Sunday, July 3, 2011 10:49 PM (3 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink
lold at this btw. lets go to aicn and comment "Man, I loved Transformers 3 but I couldn't help but wonder... would the futurists approve of this decadence?"
― ☂ (max), Monday, 4 July 2011 02:54 (twelve years ago) link
a disapproving Umberto Boccioni watching Transformers 3
http://www.italiamia.com/art/UmbertoBoccioni.jpg
― buzza, Monday, 4 July 2011 02:59 (twelve years ago) link
"what decadence"
― BIG HOOS aka the steendriver, Monday, 4 July 2011 03:00 (twelve years ago) link
said it in the transformers thread but this guy's terrible grammar and completely incoherent self-contradictory prose is way more damning and indicative of a nonfunctional mind than anything he's ever said about norbit
― my Sonicare toothbrush (difficult listening hour), Monday, 4 July 2011 03:24 (twelve years ago) link
excavates Chicago’s secret moral corruption
man this is such classic armond
― dirty deathdrone boys (J0rdan S.), Monday, 4 July 2011 03:25 (twelve years ago) link
This guy's non-functioning binaries and constant K-Lo-esque begging for sympathy is way more damaging than his beret.
― The Edge of Gloryhole (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Monday, 4 July 2011 03:26 (twelve years ago) link
what is "secret" about chicago's moral corruption anyway?
― dirty deathdrone boys (J0rdan S.), Monday, 4 July 2011 03:27 (twelve years ago) link
no one cept Armond knows about it exists
― The Edge of Gloryhole (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Monday, 4 July 2011 03:28 (twelve years ago) link
*omit about
A Decepticon army buried on the dark side of the moon that tries to destroy Earth is an allusion to Daley's attempt to (Deceptively) rig the 1960 election to destroy Earth with buried voters think about it
― polyphonic, Monday, 4 July 2011 03:42 (twelve years ago) link
It's the mid-year best, with The Green Hornet and Film Socialisme!
http://www.nypress.com/article-22612-the-2011-mid-year-reckoning.html
― joyless shithead (Dr Morbius), Thursday, 21 July 2011 21:00 (twelve years ago) link
Plus, Joe Nussbaum’s serene Prom and Tom Hanks’ also serene Larry Crowne.
What, he couldn't think of another word?
― Number None, Thursday, 21 July 2011 21:04 (twelve years ago) link
and an honorable mention for repo chick!
― my Sonicare toothbrush (difficult listening hour), Thursday, 21 July 2011 21:05 (twelve years ago) link
"Jodie Foster’s melodrama The Beaver"
that is one word for it, yes
― apichathong song (strongo hulkington's ghost dad), Thursday, 21 July 2011 21:11 (twelve years ago) link
Joe Nussbaum’s serene Prom and Tom Hanks’ also serene Larry Crowne.
― Matt Armstrong, Thursday, 21 July 2011 21:19 (twelve years ago) link
Attack the Block
Not so much for the review as a whole, but for this bit:
Attack the Block's comic-ghoulish street sense (the aliens are described as looking like a "monkey fucked a fish") is exactly the kind of thing Tina Fey, Alec Baldwin, Tracy Morgan and cohorts don't do on the SNL knockoff sitcom 30 Rock, with its snarky celebration among privileged media-elites. Here, awareness of class dissatisfaction applies to different races and professions (including cops vs. dole-queuers), if not exactly uniting them.
I mean, where the hell does 30 Rock have come into this? And what does it have to do with anything?
― Gukbe, Thursday, 4 August 2011 02:34 (twelve years ago) link
sometimes i feel like he just sits down with a few dozen clauses and then sort of attaches them together at random, a comma here, a semicolon there, parentheses around this one, an em-dash offsetting that one
― max, Thursday, 4 August 2011 02:39 (twelve years ago) link
I love it when snarky media elites from one medium attack ones from another with no trace of irony whatsoever.
― Mucho! Macho! Honcho!: Turn Off The Dark (C. Grisso/McCain), Thursday, 4 August 2011 02:51 (twelve years ago) link
...Or in other words, Armond's pot & kettle must not match.
― Mucho! Macho! Honcho!: Turn Off The Dark (C. Grisso/McCain), Thursday, 4 August 2011 02:53 (twelve years ago) link
loathing sitcoms shd be applauded in any context
― satan club sandwich (Dr Morbius), Thursday, 4 August 2011 06:53 (twelve years ago) link
i'm glad to see ppl noting what a bad stylist he is: sometimes i feel like his wack opinions are mainly there to distract you from how awful and unreadable he is on a sentence by sentence level. he writes like a guy dictating on quaaludes.
― (The Other) J.D. (J.D.), Thursday, 4 August 2011 07:14 (twelve years ago) link
― satan club sandwich (Dr Morbius), Thursday, August 4, 2011 6:53 AM (23 minutes ago) Bookmark
Figured you at least for a staunch supporter of the multi-cam, Mary Tyler Moore style sitcom. Either way your comment is loveably ridiculous.
― Gukbe, Thursday, 4 August 2011 07:18 (twelve years ago) link
post-Shelley Long-leaving-Cheers, obv
― satan club sandwich (Dr Morbius), Thursday, 4 August 2011 07:47 (twelve years ago) link
Is he writing reviews anywhere?
― Gukbe, Friday, 23 September 2011 18:09 (twelve years ago) link
http://cityarts.info/category/film/ ?
― Mordy, Friday, 23 September 2011 18:12 (twelve years ago) link
cheers!
― Gukbe, Friday, 23 September 2011 18:14 (twelve years ago) link
Not only that, he's EDITOR of that fortnightly.
And he hates Moneyball even more than I do! Tho as usual, damned if I can figure out why.
http://cityarts.info/2011/09/27/nerds-strike-out/
― incredibly middlebrow (Dr Morbius), Monday, 3 October 2011 06:26 (twelve years ago) link
I didn't get the sense that you hated Moneyball.
― Anakin Ska Walker (AKA Skarth Vader) (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Monday, 3 October 2011 23:36 (twelve years ago) link
weird that he wanted 50/50 to be about god or some shit
― unorthodox economic revenge (Shakey Mo Collier), Monday, 3 October 2011 23:39 (twelve years ago) link
is Armand an Xtian?
It’s rare for actors to delineate an athlete’s physical assurance; Pitt doesn’t even try. His Billy Beane is a beer-belly characterization by a pin-up
This is so wrong that it verges on parody.
― Anakin Ska Walker (AKA Skarth Vader) (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Monday, 3 October 2011 23:41 (twelve years ago) link
A "beer-belly characterization" is kind of what I got from Pitt in that movie, but I liked it.
― bamcquern, Tuesday, 4 October 2011 01:38 (twelve years ago) link
A player who's been retired for a dozen years doesn't nec have an active athlete's bearing. Pitt has it cuz he's a movie star, and the movie is synthetic.
― incredibly middlebrow (Dr Morbius), Tuesday, 4 October 2011 01:57 (twelve years ago) link
and Hollywood is normally so good at accurately portraying schlubby leads
― Rory's new misogynist car (Gukbe), Tuesday, 4 October 2011 02:29 (twelve years ago) link
morbs am i right that hoffman as art howe is just some hilariously wrong miscasting? don't mind jonah hill as depodesta cuz it's just hilarious to imagine him finding out billy beane got brad pitt and he got jonah hill.
― balls, Tuesday, 4 October 2011 03:21 (twelve years ago) link
Hoffman is just not believable, and the character as written has no dimension.
also Armond: Beane turning down $12.5 M actually happened, schmuck.
― incredibly middlebrow (Dr Morbius), Tuesday, 4 October 2011 03:29 (twelve years ago) link
yknow if turner was still in control there'd be a tnt dramatization of john schuerholz' built to win by xmas.
― balls, Tuesday, 4 October 2011 03:33 (twelve years ago) link
...Sandler knows how our plumbing works.
― encarta it (Gukbe), Friday, 11 November 2011 17:16 (twelve years ago) link
Sandler truly is our Lubitsch.
― Who wants to see the great Pavarotti sit on a pie? (jer.fairall), Friday, 11 November 2011 17:18 (twelve years ago) link
Superb stuff
― Number None, Friday, 11 November 2011 17:20 (twelve years ago) link
comments on that are fantastic
― pass the duchy pon the left hand side (musical duke) (Hurting 2), Friday, 11 November 2011 17:24 (twelve years ago) link
Jaime N. Christley 8 minutes ago
You found it hilarious? You must have been internalizing your laughter, because I was sitting three feet away from you during the screening and you didn't so much as crack a smile. Flag 1 person liked this. Like ReplyReply renegadeisback 14 minutes ago
If any movie has a religious backbone, hack Armond White is happy as a pig in shi*!. Flag 1 person liked this. Like ReplyReply Pat Reynolds 15 minutes ago
Woah. This is amazing. Just like "Jack and Jill" seems like a parody of an Adam Sandler movie, I almost thought this was a parody of an Armond White review. That's how ridiculous this is.
"All Sandler’s best comedies (Grown Ups, Bedtime Stories, I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry and the great Spanglish) are really love stories"
Oh My.
He has kind words for *Grown Ups* but neglects *Zohan*!? V. disappointed.
― s.clover, Friday, 11 November 2011 17:25 (twelve years ago) link
In Jill drag, Sandler looks like young women you see on the subway; she’s a homely archetype Fanny Brice, Judy Canova and Martha Raye made popular. (Eddie Murphy also mastered this comic affection in The Klumps and Norbit.)
― i couldn't adjust the food knobs (Phil D.), Friday, 11 November 2011 17:26 (twelve years ago) link
Apatow produced Zohan i think?
― Number None, Friday, 11 November 2011 17:27 (twelve years ago) link
If the comment about him not cracking a smile during J&J is in fact true, it is incredibly telling.
― Who wants to see the great Pavarotti sit on a pie? (jer.fairall), Friday, 11 November 2011 17:27 (twelve years ago) link
I'm just finding it super funny that White's taste in sandler films is disappointingly highbrow, relatively speaking.
― s.clover, Friday, 11 November 2011 17:33 (twelve years ago) link
Is this anti-semitism?
― Mordy, Friday, 11 November 2011 17:34 (twelve years ago) link
Sandler, of course, always goes back to Jewishness. He may be the least ethnically abashed Jewish film comic outside the Borscht Belt which is Jack and Jill’s natural strength. Jack’s self-consciousness about Jill is rooted in Jewish comics’ proverbial self-deprecation (that’s why the twinship premise). Jill’s large features, gaucheness, petulance and unsophisticated ways are not anti-Jewish traits but the qualities that insecure, social-climbing ethnic groups usually evade.