Masterchef Goes Large

aaah it's swedemason, he's got prior form with the incredible 'get in the back of the van'

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9GGc7KcvqtE

i didn't even realise this had happened to masterchef; what the hell, masterchef? what the hell??

Grey gloop dude was lol

only watched the first ep of professionals last night, but OMG i am so tired of their 'journeys' their 'narratives' and how much they want to win etc etc etc. bored shitless of it. indeed the only joy in this show now is watching michelle grimace when she has to eat some garbage with onions and vanilla in it. bake-off is so so so much better a show.

it's so low budget, they can't even get greengrocer and serial killer roux in the same room at the same time, it seems, so they've had to stage a "conversation" whereby they record each part of the "dialogue" separately. and this is hilarious cos then for each "yes" or *earnest nod* they're relying on the two to show some acting skills, and if there's ever a guarantee of bad acting it's when you're not reacting to anyone and simulating that.

stevie otm. Bakeoff is the business.

never got into bakeoff, i actually just watched masterchef by chance last night in a "talk to my flatmates for 5 minutes" exercise.

Were your flatmates in the room at the time, or did they do their replies/reactions separately, later?

v fair question imo

i had just cooked my dinner and, actually just one of them, was watching it. i sat on sofa for 10 minutes and briefly discussed it. then exited.

xp yes, their narratives are tiring but it gives my housemate and I a chance to bitch about whatever they've just served up. Michelle pulling a face like you've just shit on the plate and called it a roulade is certainly the highpoint.

bake-off is a certainly a lot better. 1) more chilled 2) nicer people 3) very little hubris 4) awesome illustrations

5) Cake

omg lg, that is *amazing about greg the egg and chefmichelle not being in the same room... and that makes so much sense too...

also you should totally watch bake-off because it rules so hard

6) Jumpers

now i'm regretting not making a bake off thread when it was happening.

JAMES FTW!
the things i liked most about james:

1) sourdough
2) he wasn't bothered whether he won or not
3) scotland

I'm pretty sure you see greg and jr tucking into the same plate of food . . . I'll check tonight.

they def are in some shots together - but maybe not when they have their little 'round-up' chat, before booting someone out?

Totally supporting Ping.

One of my singing colleagues is going to be on the season premiere of the new season of Masterchef; he will not say if he actually gets past the premiere or not.

Slowly working through the latest series of UK Masterchef. Loving it as usual, and enjoying the new, gentler vibe. But oh my god, losing like one contestant an episode? When is this series going to end??

Barry Shitpeas just outclassed in the final there.

So... My colleague did get onto the show and won a mystery box challenge.

GO JASON GO

The Great British Menu this year is preparing for "a star-studded banquet celebrating the British music industry to be held at Abbey Road" or words to that effect. There are so many hilarious / toe-curlingly embarrassing moments in this, it's amazing. Dishes inspired by Coldplay! People saying things like "singles - they're the small vinyls, yeah?"!

great british menu is unfailingly shit, but hats off to them that they've found a new way to be terrible after this many series

Yes, having Ali Campbell explain what Grime was to Matthew Fort just one of many, many high/lowlights.

P much every other dish seems to have been 'inspired' by The Beatles or Oasis.

Ali Campbell explain what Grime was to Matthew Fort

oh god i'm gonna have to watch this now aren't i

xp BG you're right, but it remains my favourite cooking show.

I'm always struck by how tough they say it is to produce two plates of food in a day's work (or sixteen in a judging day). They're chefs!

Post-Astro UB40 line up looks like a winner

https://gbc-cdn-public-media.azureedge.net/img82135.690x416.jpg

The judging session with Mani was another big treat. Waterman sadly predictable in his tastes.

wittingly or unwittingly, the producers of gbm have produced an invaluable survey of the tyrants, egomaniacs and petty squabblers who run british kitchens in the 21st century, and for that they must be commended

That one neck tatooed fellow who produced a dish called CONTEMPT FOR ORTHODOXY which was like a fish spine sticking out of 3D printed head did make me laugh.

Haha yes - demonstrating his contempt for orthodoxy by spraying oysters silver and shaping them to look like studs on an oh-so-unorthodox leather jacket. The restaurant he works at in Leeds sounds... not to my taste.

Ben from the other week's restaurant is just round the corner from me and is actually very nice so I couldn't help rooting for him, even though he was a slight moron.

Yeah as documented on the London restaurants thread we ate at his restaurant this weekend and it was really good.

Ali Campbell explain what Grime was to Matthew Fort

oh god i'm gonna have to watch this now aren't i

― a photographer, satanist and ukip voter (bizarro gazzara), Monday, April 8, 2019 12:37 PM (three hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Be glad you missed Mani 'dish is aight' slurping up some soup.

Ps. I watch this religiously. The 'concept' plates are frequently bonkers.

Wtf has this guy got against fish curry?

Great to see the kooks up for a place in the pantheon of 50 years of british music.

What was the deal w/ that guy who - twice - didn't actually deliver the brief in any way? Is he thick?

"I'm doing a dish called Northern Sole."
"What fish is in it?"
"Cod."

That guy?

oh god i'm gonna have to watch this now aren't i

xp haha yeah, that guy. Thought it was expert trolling at first but c'mon man. Despite him explicitly saying it was called 'Northern Sole' the editors of the show just put 'Northern Soul' underneath it, because it was just too wtf.

I like that this week's judge let's off a little more about how things are going during the cooking. The others all tried their very best to not let anything on. When they'd taste a sauce they'd be like *must... keep... blank... expression*

xp BG you need to see this pronto imo

We have developed the habit of watching the week's worth of these on a Friday or Saturday night. I can barely wait! (Mind if you lot start spoilering who goes through I will have to catch up in the thread later, not that that should stop you obv.).

We're a small but dedicated crew, I think we can manage no spoilers.

Despite him explicitly saying it was called 'Northern Sole' the editors of the show just put 'Northern Soul' underneath it, because it was just too wtf.

It was more wtf than that, he actually said "The dish is called Northern Soul, with a 'u', because it's cod". In other words "I'm not going for the obvious pun, instead I'm going for a dish which has no connection to the name or the brief whatsoever".

Mind = blown (I missed that "with a 'u'" remark!). That's some 5D concept cooking!

Yeah he said "with a u" to both Aitkens and his fellow competition, separately, so he clearly rationalised it in his head that way.

Maybe it was a meta-commentary on the futilty of trying to encapsulate a musical tradition through the medium of cookery - it wouldn't actually have had anything more to do with Northern Soul music if the name of the fish i had sounded the same as 'soul'.

That's possibly giving him a little too much credit seeing as he was a shouty self-satisfied chump.

B-but plates shaped like guitars! Skate tendon mohicans!

he was a shouty self-satisfied chump.

Otm. He's a nuisance. All the better his chow will be further served off tonight.

xp Oh god the mohicans <3