Desperate Housewives of ILX

...and fall on your ass, breaking half of the bones on your body.

In your body, I mean.

I don't shower with erect men

OK, more for me then.

so i got the bucket out for cleaning. baby steps.

you shoul dget the bucket out for cleaning this thread which has quickly gone into the sexual gutter!!

my bff from new york is coming to visit july 1. now i have real motivation. this week/weekend: it's ON.

!! terrific

ryan will be out of town this weekend. i am planning on having some sort of surprise waiting for him when he gets back, but i'm not sure what it will be yet. something of the home improvement variety.

last night, i found a fucking cockroach in my cabinet! ONE cockroach. I am panicked, how can this happen? My house is so clean...WTF!

could it have come in from somewhere else?

yes - it does not necessarily mean you have an infestation. it is possible to only see one cockroach in your apartment, contrary to what people will tell you.

usually if you see one it was bred alrady and there are millions of eggs in your silverware drawer

I would die.

you would eat them

so we painted the bathroom, it looks really lovely - i feel a little more calm about the house now that this has happened, but there are still so many loose ends

we are doing a big salvation army pick up which should help, getting rid of clothes, books, and bags

I'm on hiatus from caring about this shit until fall. It's too hot and TOO DAMP to live in my apartment, I'm not dealing with the bathroom at the height of mildew season. I do look longingly at nicer apartments on the internets, but then I get home, drop off my office clothes, and leave on my bike for some other place, probably the beach. So fuck it.

i am the opposite in the summer. i hole up in the shade of my apartment, and keeping things clean is even more important to me. i feel like i am doing my spring cleaning only now.

Yeah, this is unusual for me, probably, but there are other reasons also. Anyway, I'm just saving up my nesting for fall, planning what colors to paint room and etc etc. Leaning toward Dutch Boy's "Empire State" grey, because it's not expensive paint and I don't need it to last a decade.

beautiful color. i tend to lean toward the same family of colors.

I was thinking of a softer grey with a tiny bit of lavender hint to it so it would make the evening light nicer, but honestly I need a neutral cool grey that makes no statements and goes with more things. So that was that.

I've got enough to worry about right now keeping the bugs at bay -- not cockroaches, just BUGS that are getting in from outside! Beetles, a water bug, some flies, lots of moths still, and, increasingly...THESE THINGS

http://www.ca.uky.edu/entomology/entfacts/images/hsepede.jpg

terrifying.

The good newa: I got a groupon for a maid cleaning!
The bad news: I used lysol to wipe that rust shit off the ceiling just a few weeks ago and IT'S BACK :(

the orange stuff? now, what is the deal with "shower spray" - u know the stuff u just spray on and leave after u shower

does it work?

it is a waste of $ ime

xp ha, i was just thinking about posting the same question!! i read somewhere recently that rubbing car wax on your stove top makes it easier to clean up mess.

i am pretty sure i just heard bf tell his dad, 'you can crash on my couch, no problem' when i was 100% expecting him to stay at a hotel. tomorrow. WTF.

btw laurel, it is hard to tell on a computer screen but i like vineyard point!

oh no. unexpected house guest!!

i am so livid atm.

oy, i know how you feel. are you going to give him a piece of your mind?

holy shit wtf is that bug monster? Do you live in the amazon or something?

beetles are nice

It's a HOUSE CENTIPEDE, apparently. And they kill other bugs but are too small to really bite humans, so I should probably let them stay...but SO FREAKY AND GROSS, and they always come out in the DARK, UUHGHGHGHHGHH

Don't think I could share a house with that.
whatever
Other bugs > House centipedes

^ i am also familiar and skeeved of those giant house centipedes, get away from meeeee

ime they aren't super fast or agile so they are p easy to hunt and destroy with a crushing blow, however they tend to break into a million tiny bug pieces when you do ugh ugh noooooooo

anyway. my house is a mess. it is too hot to clean.

Yes, and then the detached bug legs KEEP TWITCHING it gives me the horrors just thinking about it.

Smother them in Kleenex! I never allow myself to look at them post-smushing.

Fruit fly trick, since 'tis the season: put balsamic or red wine vinegar in a small bowl, an inch or so high, then a few drops of dish soap. Cover this bowl with saran wrap and poke many tiny holes in it. The flies will fly in, get trapped, and the broken tension on the surface of the vinegar means they'll drown! I leave mine out for a day or two and it takes care of all of them.

Yeah, I've been meaning to do that but I'm all out of cider vinegar. As soon as I grocery shop, tho, those little bastards are going DOWN.

you can do the same trick with a piece of fruit. the fruit flies are too stupid to find their way back out through the tiny holes.

i am surprised i have not seen more bugs this summer - my apartment can get kind of muggy. but we've had good air flow, so maybe that helps. having a big lasko box fan in the window has helped the air circulation well.

My groupon was cancelled! :( upon review it's probably a good thing bc reviews were scathing but I'm still sad.

Booo-urns :(

those house centipedes love running in your snoring mouth at night to lay eggs

My housewifery for the weekend will include painting a bedroom with lolRalphLauren paint and unpacking shit in the bathroom.

Hmmm that last part did not sound right.

it is definitely like bedroom painting season or something, i have noticed this is happening with a lot of friends. what color are you going with?

are u doing it by yourself?

We're doing the guest room ourself, since it is pretty straightforward. Our bedroom (I guess you'd call it the master) has this ceiling with a dormer/cathedral part (I don't know how to describe it really; basically a part of the regular ceiling was extended up to the roof at some point) that is really high and would be hard to deal with, so we may call in pros for that.

Guest room is Benjamin Moore's Bronzed Beige. Mr. was initially grabbing lavender/mauve chips until I put my foot down about not wanting the space to look like a dentist's office waiting room.