Why I love the Daily Mail, as distilled into one story.

course, it's shank or be shanked

Just don't drop that Wills & Kate commemorative plate in the shower.

it'd all be cool if the slop buckets had a picture of pippa middleton on 'em - daily mail would be happy.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2009679/Diana-50-Botox-sessions-best-friends-Carole-Middleton--feeling-threatened-Kate.html

this is hilarious and basically identical to internet fanfic

She would have sued for sure, and collected record-breaking damages (which she would have donated to the children’s cancer ward at Great Ormond Street Hospital for Children).

On the way to present the donation, she would have asked the driver to stop so an assistant could jump out and buy her a Toblerone.

To be fair, the Daily Mail is just reprinting this piece from Newsweek. I still can't believe they published it.

Double act: How Diana might have looked with the Duchess of Cambridge, had she lived until her 50th birthday

Hmm, exactly like a zombie?

"And then she'd have aditorf with Imran Khaaan!"

ha, like that "house that looks like Hitler" a whuile back, every comment (I've seen so far) on the "HYS" section is basically stfu.

although they figured it out a lot earlier it's the DM's equivalent of the worthless, insincere articles the Graun have been doing a lot of recently ('Amy Winehouse being too wrecked to play was awesome' / 'Villa fans who don't want Alex Mcleish are stupid' / others)

ie they know everyone who comments is going to shit on it but the pageviews will balance it out

having 107,000 Facebook friends must be right time-consuming.

today we have:

Girl, 13, crushed to death by a falling branch as she sat on park bench because her teachers were out on strike

Beautiful.

Come on Daily Mail have some respect -- RIP Sweatheart

- Sheeple, Essex, 01/7/2011 14:16

I actually thought someone had made that up...but it seems not
http://www.geeks.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2011/07/Daily-Fail.png
Although it's gone now.

Should really be on the "hate" thread.

Actually it's not gone they've just changed the headline to the far more reasonable "Girl, 13, crushed to death by a falling branch as she sat on park bench on the day her teachers went out on strike".

tbf both the Telegraph and the Mirror have gone for similar lines.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/debate/article-2020705/LIZ-JONES-The-caring-professions-They-just-dont-care-all.html

blah blah liz jones entitled batshit whatevia, but in the middle of it...

I am catching a flight to the Horn of Africa tomorrow, to cover the famine in Somalia.

they're sending bloody liz jones to somalia. in a way i actually cannot wait.

Oh look, she's still bleating on about how much money she spends on shit, despite being skint.

I too cannot wait for Liz Jones tackles famine. It will be terrifyingly amazingly bad.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2098596/Photos-1970s-rock-stars-parents-reveal-humble-roots-childhood-homes.html
All of these pics are amazing, but the - if you will - punctum must surely be the Richie-esque bust in the Donovan shot.

Worlds apart: Grace Slick, lead singer of Jefferson Airplane, is a different woman from her mother Virginia Wing

http://news.sky.com/sky-news/content/StaticFile/jpg/2012/Feb/Week2/16168529.jpg

Delightful choice by the photo desk.

xp link for those not wanting to give the DM page views.
http://life.time.com/culture/rock-stars-and-their-parents/#1

Plant a tree to commemorate our frozen dead. Then chop it down and burn it for warmth.

If the Mail ceases production, how long until 100,000 trees are free for more useful purposes?

St George would be proud! England celebrate national day with three REAL lions

By Sportsmail Reporter

http://a6.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc7/62705_522238435696_286500429_1188989_7850469_n.jpg

L-R: L. Jones, J.Bieber

I don't know how this story came about but everything about this picture is a treat

Dude needs to negotiate a better rider.

Does this one need to go onto the "So not going to happen" thread?

Bieber (thinks) "I thought I ordered unidentifiable nibbly things with all the yellow ones taken out, ffs. Oh, and NO right wing tabloid journalist. I swear, if that cardboard box doesn't contain a dwarf in bondage gear covered in mayonnaise, I'll trash this place."

I can't work out from this monitor if that bag of chips is sitting on a leopard skin or a huge pile of Cheerios. Or something else?

"That toaster's gonna go through this fucking mirror for a start."

xp looks like a padded red chair to me

rofl
http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2012/05/09/article-2142088-1303179C000005DC-364_634x770.jpg

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2142088/And-thought-YOUR-mom-embarrassing-Hilarious-collection-photos-women-kids-forget.html

Yet more Pullitzer-worthy investigative journalism, there.

"mom"??

the daily mail gone done left blighty behind

good riddance imho

I had a flash of panic when it said "if you're planning on showering mom with flowers or giving her a card this Sunday" until i realised that i haven't bought my mother a card since 1992 it's actually Sunday the 18th in the UK.

Strange that they'd presumably pick up a US story and not bother changing anything that made it completely obvious they were just printing pre-packaged press releases.

Horror in 'Nappy Valley': Father comes home to find baby son and daughter 'smothered to death by wife' - just 10 days after they moved into £1.2m dream home

Neighbours saw the dark-haired mother being put into a police car by an officer who had an arm around her at around 10.30pm last night.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2142296/Wandsworth-deaths-Father-discovers-murdered-babies-killed-wife-slit-wrists.html#ixzz1uV5V9TDH

This is the thread for unusual details in wikipedia articles Daily Mail stories

their bizarre house pricing obsession is just o_O

I had a flash of panic when it said "if you're planning on showering mom with flowers or giving her a card this Sunday"

I read this as 'if you're planning on showering with mom'

so in other words the mail stole it off some american site? haha

i didn't read it tbh i just looked at the funny pics.

Vanessa-Hudgens-wears-pair-teeny-tiny-shorts-leaves-pilates-class-Austin-Butler.html

something inappropriate about the font which labels the arrow of this suicide flight-path:
http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2012/07/25/article-2178598-14348C3D000005DC-594_468x634.jpg

Doesn't it go totally against some sort of code of conduct to show pictures of suicide spots in such articles?

PCC code:

*ii) When reporting suicide, care should be taken to avoid excessive detail about the method used.

further guidance:

Graphic images illustrating suicide methods were often upsetting to relatives and friends. Under the Code, such images would normally have to pass the ‘excessive detail’ test.

There you go! Obnoxious wankers