Blue Saturday

cant get ouzo on the phone, it's only a cheapish nokia

one day i have a dream

it's like an antidote to nultness, that sentence

Full of that "just on the brink of tears" maudlin happiness today, been floating like an ambivalent ghost for months. Okay years maybe. "Percy's Song" keeps looping round my head and filling me up with...something.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2C5EPmR7YdY&feature=fvwrel

My line manager is a lovely woman who takes care of me and puts up with more of my bullshit than is reasonable tbh, but sometimes when we're liaising with tutors or other professionals she just comes out with these well-meaning but crass cultural stereotypes and I cringe a little bit inside and I feel bad for cringing a little bit cos I know she's on the side of good really. But it's tiring and niggly to always be around people who don't quite get it, whatever "it" might be.

Of course maybe I'm just a control freak. You stare into the unknowable cave of Other People's Brains for a while and man does it stare right back into you.

Think the difference between happy maudlin and bleak depression is when you realise that whatever feels like its missing was probably never really there in the first place and you stop chasing and enjoy the alien but familiar surroundings.

never mind that we sent our grace off to school this mornin

TOO SCHOOL FFS

TOO SCHOOL FOR COOL

Isn't Friday a funny day to be starting school?

also i love y'all ilx, but y'all need to learn that crass (cultural or otherwise) generalisations are gonna issue from the mouths of good people, maybe not even that infrequently, and deal accordingly.

I mean you know this, you're still talking to me ffs.

hahaha but I have the remnants of professional pride - outside of work i can be as crass as any fucker

also it's kind of the well-meaningness of the comments that makes me cringe up. shit gotta go do some "work".

friday at the end of term to give them all summer to deal with the knowledge that we've been lying to them about it being fun tbh

lol excellent plan

four and a bit, welcome to the system. What a woild.

patience is a virtue
virtue is a grace
grace is a little girl
with a dirty face.

that was in a book i liked when i was little, grace was secretly a fairy who was not obsessed with hygiene or other pedestrian matters.

the poet was jealous of her.

tell your grace if she can kiss her elbow it means she's a fairy. i learned that rule from that book and i tried and tried but no dice.

Ah my mom used to tell us to go kiss our elbows when she wanted to keep us busy, I believed it was possible for quite a while only I couldn't quite reach....

i'm afraid i'm not talking to grace atm, she decorated the living room table yesterday and my feedback did not ingratiate me

i'm mad at you too now.

laurel, i was so sure i would reach one day but i never could. shamefully, i even tried it again recently and got the same old disappointing result.

it was a very lackadaisical job, in my defence.

Cant reach my elbow either fwiw, neither can either co-worker

there must be some secret physiological trick to it.

i liked school a lot mostly, which is ironic considering the balls i made of it.

as an outside observer, i enjoyed it immensely. I understand the standard experience is somewhat more unsettling

i want a full description of grace's slapdash table setting.

ah, i think i see where i'm coming across as overly harsh now.

I mean decorated, with paint etc. It was a red cat, or so i was informed.

i like the sound of this grace character.

a bad workman always blames that boy next door, the fox from dora and my gf, in that order.

<3<3<3

i'd have had to hide my head in a cupboard so she wouldn't see me laughing.

my face grants me few enough advantages, but luckily enough fierce disapproval is a specialty

if you neglected to say "Swiper No Swiping!" then you're at fault afaik

it's not rly my place to learn the code or do any actual disciplining, as far as i can work out i'm only there to do the driving and provide fresh furniture.

and to admire red cats.

up until yesterday anyway

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0As0mgeRHbg

oh hai

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C8Oqo_2ddq4

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CBRQM0vErH8

:D

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q-wGMlSuX_c

sometimes people (i.e. mostly Mrs V) tell me the drinking is a helpless brain disease that's got me in its pincers but on the other hand you just get bored of dullards y'know?

also some kind of "Ravers Binge" and "Black Velvet Band" mashup wd be number one for a couple of months

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XMuh6YP0g7c&feature=related

i have been free of the curse of the drink for about a month now, an unhappy accident of schedules.

It's gonna get ugly next weekend, is my gut feeling.

got a friend of limited musical imagination who keeps telling me that Blackout are a deliberate parody. When you worry about this stuff it's always a spectacular missing of the point imo

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0WXeZwe-1Zk

the bits of this that don't feature the slightly Pound Shop-looking Shamen themselves are my fave video ever

Advice to new MC's
Be original most new MC's all sound the same and copy other MC's stuff. The only way u will get recognized is if u are original and bring the scene something different to any1 else. This is why blackout is a big success, all the MC?s have got there own style's which certain types of people adapt to. So go home and get your note pads out and your pens and get to work!
posted by Blackout Crew

FACT: all the best UK MCs have had a kids in the community element to their work

my old man is gradually coming out to me about his depression, which secretly i've known has been there for a long time. but the unspeakable truth between us is he's scared of decaying and dying, i know exactly what it is because it's the same fucking gene he's passed down to me, and we talk about football and argue about politics cos neither of us wants to tell each other we're scared - him because he's a big hard practical dude and me because i've got nothing to tell him that can help