girls, gurls, grrls: c/d, s/d

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let me just take my shoes and pants off

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Monday, 12 April 2004 21:12 (twenty-two years ago)

WELL?

― luna (luna.c), Monday, 12 April 2004 21:12 (twenty-two years ago)

and?

― Nik (Nik), Monday, 12 April 2004 21:14 (twenty-two years ago)

yes, a cocktail would be lovely, thank you

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Monday, 12 April 2004 21:14 (twenty-two years ago)

I think the taking the shoes and pants off pretty much answered the question!

― jel -- (jel), Monday, 12 April 2004 21:14 (twenty-two years ago)

haha!

you big galoot!

― cozen (Cozen), Monday, 12 April 2004 21:15 (twenty-two years ago)

fine, cocktail, slippers, pipe, roaring fire, whatever... spill it.

― luna (luna.c), Monday, 12 April 2004 21:15 (twenty-two years ago)

what, about smelling different?

― Nik (Nik), Monday, 12 April 2004 21:15 (twenty-two years ago)

at least he's not drawing a bath and reaching for his razor...

― ModJ (ModJ), Monday, 12 April 2004 21:15 (twenty-two years ago)

oh I forgot, american pants aren't british pants!

so is it strongo lovington?

― jel -- (jel), Monday, 12 April 2004 21:16 (twenty-two years ago)

i'm about to go shower, actually. i stink of stockroom dust and the musk of self-satisfaction.

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Monday, 12 April 2004 21:16 (twenty-two years ago)

This is prick-teasing of the highest order. I wholeheartedly approve.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Monday, 12 April 2004 21:16 (twenty-two years ago)

Longo Cockington?

― Markelby (Mark C), Monday, 12 April 2004 21:16 (twenty-two years ago)

You'd better brush your teeth as well after the eight cups of coffee you just drunk.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Monday, 12 April 2004 21:17 (twenty-two years ago)

be back soon!

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Monday, 12 April 2004 21:17 (twenty-two years ago)

(xpost)hence, the musk of self-satisfaction

― Nik (Nik), Monday, 12 April 2004 21:18 (twenty-two years ago)

he must've got a raise...

― jel -- (jel), Monday, 12 April 2004 21:18 (twenty-two years ago)

Actually, I don't care anymore.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Monday, 12 April 2004 21:20 (twenty-two years ago)

Anyone see the Fulham Blackburn match today? Great wasn't it? Goal of the season, possibly.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Monday, 12 April 2004 21:21 (twenty-two years ago)

nah, I watched Poirot. Anyway, the Premiership's on now, good night!

― jel -- (jel), Monday, 12 April 2004 21:23 (twenty-two years ago)

(oh, you all care)

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Monday, 12 April 2004 21:23 (twenty-two years ago)

Was Poirot any good? Was it old-skool or a new one? Any tips on how I could grow a moustache like that?

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Monday, 12 April 2004 21:25 (twenty-two years ago)

OKAY, FINE:

so, i went in there, and, as soon as i saw her big ol' ass, i started mentally backing out of it. in fact i DID back out of it, but it maybe turned out better than if i hadn't. so like i got my coffee and chickened out and was standing there putting my cream and shit in at the end of the counter and she was talking to her co-worker about how "ugly" she felt that day (i think by the subtext of that conversation it was that time of the month, so maybe it's better that i chickened out since i'm not dealin with the cotton ball mouse up there) and, as i was about finished and their conversation lulled and they looked in my direction i said "oh, that's all a load of crap you know...you're probably the best looking woman in this town." and she just kinda stood there blushing and i walked out and she managed a "have a nice day"...and two blocks away i bust out laughing at the sheer ridiculousness of it all.

tomorrow should be interesting.

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Monday, 12 April 2004 21:31 (twenty-two years ago)

(also she called me "darlin[g]" when she gave me my coffee - before my lothario impression - which i would normally find annoying but today took as a sign of good fortune. also i was horny.)

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Monday, 12 April 2004 21:32 (twenty-two years ago)

rico sauvington

― Nik (Nik), Monday, 12 April 2004 21:34 (twenty-two years ago)

*applause*

― luna (luna.c), Monday, 12 April 2004 21:34 (twenty-two years ago)

If you'd had an impeccably waxed moustache none of this would have happened.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Monday, 12 April 2004 21:34 (twenty-two years ago)

goddamn that's fucking smooth, dude. No sarcasm whatsoever.

― Anthony Miccio (Anthony Miccio), Monday, 12 April 2004 21:35 (twenty-two years ago)

you are so in, my friend

― oops (Oops), Monday, 12 April 2004 21:36 (twenty-two years ago)

THAT IS FUCKING HEAVY. NICE WORK NICE WORK.

― g--ff (gcannon), Monday, 12 April 2004 21:37 (twenty-two years ago)

haha xposts out the wazoo

― g--ff (gcannon), Monday, 12 April 2004 21:37 (twenty-two years ago)

Next step - order a mocha with extra whipped cream. Works every time.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Monday, 12 April 2004 21:38 (twenty-two years ago)

Oh man

― C0L1N B3CK3TT (Colin Beckett), Monday, 12 April 2004 21:38 (twenty-two years ago)

I can't wait for tommorrow's episode!

― christhamrin (christhamrin), Monday, 12 April 2004 21:39 (twenty-two years ago)

How do you follow up on your memorable and flattering line next time you see her?

― Michael White (Hereward), Monday, 12 April 2004 21:40 (twenty-two years ago)

The next episode is where Jess finds the co-worker all tarted up and fluttering eyelashes...

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Monday, 12 April 2004 21:42 (twenty-two years ago)

Oh, man, that is fantastic.

― cis (cis), Monday, 12 April 2004 21:42 (twenty-two years ago)

if it were me, i'd just keep on conversing with her more and more each day until by the end of the week it'd be awkward if i DIDN'T ask her out.

― oops (Oops), Monday, 12 April 2004 21:43 (twenty-two years ago)

Why'd you settle for the record store when you could hipster Cyrano De Bergerac

― C0L1N B3CK3TT (Colin Beckett), Monday, 12 April 2004 21:47 (twenty-two years ago)

hooray jess! here's a yuengling porter in yr honor:

http://www.yuengling.com/images/fine_beers/m_porter.jpg

― stockholm cindy (Jody Beth Rosen), Monday, 12 April 2004 21:51 (twenty-two years ago)

Seriously, jess, you are suave as a motherfucker. Well done!

― luna (luna.c), Monday, 12 April 2004 21:57 (twenty-two years ago)

This has been magnificent stuff, and I am pleased for and impressed with you, Jess! Good luck!

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Monday, 12 April 2004 22:01 (twenty-two years ago)

I can't believe no one has touched this:

as soon as i saw her big ol' ass, i started mentally backing out of it

But well done, Jess!

― Tep (ktepi), Monday, 12 April 2004 22:06 (twenty-two years ago)

thee next step is to do it in the butt.

― ModJ (ModJ), Monday, 12 April 2004 22:16 (twenty-two years ago)

your knowledge of the female gender is truly astounding

― oops (Oops), Monday, 12 April 2004 22:17 (twenty-two years ago)

"you're probably the best looking woman in this town."

!!! Wow. Yes, obviously talk to her again, mr suavington.

― bnw (bnw), Monday, 12 April 2004 22:20 (twenty-two years ago)

:-) Most grand. :-)

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 12 April 2004 23:25 (twenty-two years ago)

the next step into my obvious transformation is to start beating all the editors that owe me money with the butt of my pistol.

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 00:12 (twenty-two years ago)

MATOS IS JUST LUCKY HE'S SO GODDAMN PROMPT.

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 00:12 (twenty-two years ago)

you must have made her day. seriously. people were so horrible as a rule when i worked "service industry" jobs that i would practically burst into grateful tears if somebody replied "you, too!" to my "have a nice day."

― lauren (laurenp), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 00:15 (twenty-two years ago)

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