rolling lol FIFA thread

^ What's Mike Hancock MP doing on this thread?

"When a Swiss farmer's neighbour has a cow while he has none, the less fortunate farmer will work twice as hard so that one day he can buy a cow as well," he said.

"When another farmer, elsewhere, on an island, say, has no cow but his neighbour does, that farmer will kill the neighbour's cow out of sheer malice. I'd rather be a Swiss farmer, like it or not."

-- Sepp Blatter on today's allegations

something something put them out to pasture

another farmer, elsewhere, on an island, say,

can't believe the Icelandic FA are taking this shit

on an island

Uh, hello Albion!

xp figured it was a Trinidad and Tobago reference myself

love that he used Swissness in the analogy. so much for neutrality.

Basically, he's saying that Russians and Qatari are ambitious cattle farmers and the English are malicious bovicides

Fifa, it has often been said, is a one-cow town.

And Blatter def knows how to milk it.

Jack Warner gets all Alan Partridge, warns of 'football tsunami'

"I have lived three score and almost ten and my Jack hasn't been hanged as yet"

shit, starting to like him...

Looks like Blatter will be running unopposed.

Bin Hammam has pulled out of the election on the day of his ethics hearing:

"I promise those who stood by me that I will walk with my head held high and will continue to fight for the good of the game."

"I have a special thank you to my friend and colleague Jack Warner for his unlimited support. I am sorry to see that he has to suffer because of me, but I am promising him that I will be with him all the way through thick and thin."

"I look forward to working closely with my colleagues to restore Fifa's reputation to what it should be – a protector of the game that has credibility through honesty, transparency and accountability. It saddens me that standing up for the causes I believed in has come at a great price – the degradation of Fifa's reputation. This is not what I had in mind for Fifa and this is unacceptable.

Warner has angrily denied accusations that he failed to support the US's World Cup bid adequately:

The US is accusing me of not working hard enough for them. What more you want me to do, go in the people house and sleep with them? I can't do that!

Also:

http://i.imgur.com/pgypN.jpg

good lord that man is disturbing

and blazer is a weirdo too

FIFA clears Blatter in bribery scandal.

Blatter cleared, other guys not, everyone happy

"Oh shit" says Jerome Valcke, live on telly.

Vote to go ahead, only one candidate, 50% needed to win, control of world football and billions of dollars at stake, 2022 still scheduled to go to Qatar

great bunch of lads

5.59pm: Damaseb on why Blatter was cleared: "The allegation is that he failed to report to the authorites a report made to him that Bin Hammam intended to make payments. Mr Blatter's version is that indeed Mr Warner told him that the meeting was going to be held and take Bin Hammam intended to make these payments. Warner denies the allegations, he says he never says anything like that. Blatter says he was told. Blatter says the obligation to report did not arise because he was asked for advice and an opinion and informed Warner that that should not happen. So he did not have the evidence that a wrongdoing had taken place. At that stage no wrongdoing had occurred, he was only being asked for a view and he discouraged the asker."

6.23pm: "Having listened to the press conference, I still don't understand why Blatter was not suspended," writes Pamela Hulley. "Can you shed any light on this?" As I understand it, under Article 129 in Fifa's regulations members are only compelled to report to the ethics committee if a "wrongdoing" has taken place. Blatter says he was told that Bin Hammam intended to make these $40,000 payments and he advised against it. At that stage no wrongdoing had taken place, so he was under no obligation to report it.

By the letter of the law, he's not got to go.

I mean, it's perfectly fucking reasonable for the President of any organisation to not report serious corruption among two of his top guys on the basis of semantics.

Maybe if we all act outraged enough on this thread, Blatter will do the right thing.

After this glorious victory over his detractors, the least the world can do to honour the man is rename the sport (which would get rid of the American/Australian/Gaelic football/soccer confusion) as Blatterball.

That american journalist who tried to stand on a 'clean up fifa' ticket, but couldn't get any support - I bet he feels very silly tonight.

Bad weekend for Jack. Yesterday, a judge ordered the T&T football association to make an interim payment of £700k to the 2006 Soca Warriors team, with millions more expected to come. This is something of an advance on the £496 they each got from Warner for taking part in the World Cup four years ago. Still, when the PM is away on state business, it's reported that he's left in charge of the whole country.

The Blatter judgement is astonishing. Is it standard practice to ask the whiter-than-white President of an international organisation for advice on whether to illegally bribe various members of that organisation?

presumably (and i can be thick at times) this is all a blatter team smear against bin hammam? in other words none of this would have come out if there weren't an election.

I hardly think this is a time for cynicism

It's a bit like a microcosm of 21st century Russian politics with Blatter as Putin. They key to retaining power isn't necessarily to be corrupt, it's to ensure that everyone else is. As soon as someone, in this case bin Hammam, steps out of line, you can bring perfectly legitimate charges against them and make them stick. You ignore the equally valid allegations against your allies as long as they know to stay in line. Either the whole edifice collapses or Blatter goes on until he's dead.

you said it better than i could

lol fifa

lol indeed, but surely this is the end for fifa now? The only people who can deal with Blatter from here onwards are those who don't mind looking totally corrupt themselves. For any other body this would be fatal, and even fifa must find it a bit awkward eventually.

You'd like to think.

no this is just a cosmetic make-over for fifa. blatter gets back in, same old same old.

Not again! Blatter accused of rape by hotel maid

lol indeed, but surely this is the end for fifa now? The only people who can deal with Blatter from here onwards are those who don't mind looking totally corrupt themselves. For any other body this would be fatal, and even fifa must find it a bit awkward eventually.

― Ismael Klata, Sunday, May 29, 2011 11:30 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

you'd like to think, right, but this whole thing is only now (like today) getting coverage in germany, some of it along the lines of beckenbauer: "He did a wonderful job," the former Germany captain told Radio 5 Live. "It's not easy. Fifa is like the United Nations - we have 208 members. It's not an easy to handle, but I think Blatter and his staff are doing a wonderful job."

also http://twitter.com/#!/RobHarrisUK/status/74833038332276736

Oh man. I know the bid etc get reported here totally differently to the rest of the world, but I'd assumed this'd be different. Come to think, all the questions yesterday *were* by the bbc, the guardian, the mail and so on. Still you'd expect them to take a bigger interest surely, they're paying for it after all.

The independent commission set up by the FA to investigate the bribery claims surrounding the World Cup vote has apparently exonerated Jack Warner and the three other representatives Lord Triesman accused of demanding payments or favours in return for backing England.

I'm still struggling to work out why they would have pre-warned Blatter that they were paying people to vote against him in the presidential election.

This does seem to be bigger news in the countries that lost out on the two forthcoming World Cups. I'm not sure how many people really know / care what FIFA does, other than arranging one big tournament every four years. Any pressure for reform would be more likely to come from UEFA rather than the public / press, perhaps.

Warner's just published an e-mail from the Gen Sec of FIFA (Valcke) in which he appears to accuse Qatar of buying the World Cup:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/football/13592684.stm

"You don't have to believe me, you don't have to like me, nobody has to eat with me, drink with me or sleep with me but Jesus Christ, take the truth when you see it."

i guess that's the football tsunami warner was talking about

However, Bin Hammam responded by telling BBC Sport on Monday: "I don't know why Valcke has said that."

The Qatari added: "If I was paying money for Qatar you also have to ask the 13 people who voted for Qatar."

Valcke seems quite incompetent. lol @ his email to Warner including ";)".

Warner suggested the equivalent of bribes but in the end didn't receive any (that there is evidence of)? is this why Triesman's claims appear to have fallen down?

There's no evidence of anything aiui - they've created a system of £x million in expenditure by a handful of people, and no need for any of it to be accounted for. That's a scandal of its own quite apart from the current hubbub.

no short corners is saying Chuck Blazer's been fired. Warner re-asserting control in concacaf?

http://theoriginalwinger.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/05/concacaf_chuck_blazer.jpg

And so the attacks on the FA continue; this time it's Julio Grondona, the long-time head of the Argentina FA, throwing the punches: "It looks like England is always complaining so please I say will you leave the Fifa family alone!" he says to strong applause. "We always have attacks from England," he adds. "Their journalism is more busy lying than telling the truth."

That liveblog is some depressing reading.

a julio grondona primer:

According to a former employee of the Qatar bid team, at least one adviser recommended that the Qatar Football Association make a payment of $78.4 million to help the Argentina Football Association, or AFA, dig out of a financial crisis that threatened the country's domestic league. This person said the payment was meant to help Qatar's relationship with AFA President Julio Grondona, who is a member of FIFA's executive committee.

http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052748703377504575651103941330246.html

grondona denied that the argentine fa was in debt. but that's not exactly what the WSJ is claiming - they're saying the league was under threat because of a financial crisis. and indeed, the year before the vote, the AFA had to postpone the start of the season because the first division clubs couldn't pay their players' wages - which led to riots and argentina's president calling for grondona to lose his job. there was no repeat of the problems last august, after the vote for qatar. hmm.

other grondona highlights:

Julio Grondona, Sepp's vice-president and head of Argentina's FA denies threatening a referee who alleged "systemic corruption" in Argentina. Javier Ruiz: "I pointed out how whole championships are being rigged for cash. Grondona told me: 'Pal, watch out for your family.'" Grondona: "I hardly know Ruiz. I only met him once or twice. Nothing can be proven."

Fifa senior vice-president and head of Argentina's FA Julio Grondona forced to apologise after telling a live TV audience: "I do not believe a Jew can ever be a referee. It's hard work and, you know, Jews don't like hard work." ("He's a monumental man!" says Sepp. "We are friends for ever!")

New from Argentina FA head Julio Grondona: answers government questions about his efforts to end violence in football. "I have no responsibility for violence in football. Football is the people's salvation." Grondona dismissed reports that 235 gang members had their trips to the World Cup paid for by cash extorted from his FA officials. "We cannot help who travels with us."

£50m: total amount lost on 'financial mismanagement' this year - a new Fifa best. £3.6m of it went to ex-general secretary Urs Linsi: handed a new contract by finance director Julio Grondona, two months after Sepp Blatter had privately decided to sack him.

etc.

This + the results of the Spanish election = my kind of xmas.

Let's go, FIFA!

habeas fifam

Switzerland 12 points

Fifa presidential election: Gianni Infantino succeeds Sepp Blatter
http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/35673743

...Prince Ali bin al-Hussein was third with four, while Jerome Champagne failed to get any. Tokyo Sexwale withdrew before voting began in Zurich....

Tokyo sexwale what a name

https://sports.vice.com/en_us/article/the-soap-opera-actress-who-captured-chuck-blazers-heart

And here we go

http://deadspin.com/fifa-finally-releases-full-world-cup-corruption-report-1796454359

Hi Mr Warner:
Jamaica owes the english FA 215,000 USD and another 18500 USD
to a private english firm. You are one of the most powerful man in
Football and the english FA were at our CFU Congress. Mr
Warner is it possible for you to ask the english FA to waive Jamaica
debt. This is an emergency. - Neville Pennant

could quote from the warner / england 2018 section all night, comedy gold

A good local rundown on the bits of the report relating to Uncle Jack.

http://wired868.com/2017/06/29/longdenville-haiti-and-the-bankers-son-how-fifas-garcia-report-shatters-the-jack-warner-myth/

5. Efforts to Mask Ties to Messrs. Beckenbauer and Radmann

Internal bid team correspondence and documents indicate that Australia 2022 officials actively tried to conceal aspects of Fedor Radmann’s role with the bid team because of Mr. Radmann’s ties to Franz Beckenbauer. [...] Later in his email, Mr. Hargitay wrote:

"In order to maintain maximum confidentiality, I want to name our project “Road through Babylon” and our two key contacts “F&F.”"

lol

I'll lol only if Qatar gets (literally) cancelled.

that's fair

One can dream, I'spose

The year is 1986. The sign on Maradona's shirt says "No drugs" , on Platini's "No to corruption" 🤣 pic.twitter.com/8VTJosPxZL

— Rumen Tabakov (@minimal1023) October 5, 2019

lool

Sadly Platini's doesnt say no corruption

No rogues.

Revealed: 6,500 migrant workers have died in Qatar as it gears up for World Cup

off to a good start

World Cup in Qatar is off to a hot start….the other day we got a peak into the Fyre Fest looking tent city for fans and now a Danish TV reporter is forced off air while live by Qatari security pic.twitter.com/UUYzp7ojI1

— Wu-Tang is for the Children (@WUTangKids) November 16, 2022

Greek salad at the Qatar World Cup fan zone

🇶🇦 38 Rial (£9) pic.twitter.com/K5taOhM9Q3

— Footy Scran (@FootyScran) November 16, 2022

Fyre Festival Presents... World Cup 2022

and Murder Inc. artist Ja Rule *will* be performing “Always Off Side” during the opening ceremony

irlol

Infantino said: “We have to [look at readmitting Russia]. Definitely. This ban has not achieved anything, it has just created more frustration and hatred. Having girls and boys from Russia being able to play football games in other parts of Europe would help.”

Would hope most UEFA countries refuse to play a re-admitted Russia. They keep some teams apart in qualifying for less.

Fifa is cancelling thousands of hotel rooms, 3 months before the event

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3qR5zdSedtY

( ^ video maker's cat is hungry and/or harasses him in the background)