WHO THE FUCK READS THE DAILY EXPRESS?

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really I should have come here first for advice

Neil S, Thursday, 19 May 2011 10:16 (fifteen years ago)

http://dl.dropbox.com/u/826480/Free.JPG

joe, Thursday, 19 May 2011 13:31 (fifteen years ago)

hah!

broodje kroket (dog latin), Thursday, 19 May 2011 13:32 (fifteen years ago)

Surprised Murdoch is allowing clowning of Chinese govt tbh.

Neil S, Thursday, 19 May 2011 13:59 (fifteen years ago)

http://news.sky.com/sky-news/content/StaticFile/jpg/2011/May/Week3/15995737.jpg

BLEEDIN' BROWN CHOCOLATE COMING OVER HERE, COVERING OUR TRADITIONAL ENGLISH PASTRIES

James Mitchell, Friday, 20 May 2011 09:07 (fifteen years ago)

They didn't have the woman aiming the éclair into her mouth.

Hippocratic Oaf (DavidM), Friday, 20 May 2011 09:21 (fifteen years ago)

Must have hurt to put the acute on the E.

the goon is in the gutter (onimo), Friday, 20 May 2011 09:24 (fifteen years ago)

Hold down 'AltGr' and type 'e'

Mark G, Friday, 20 May 2011 09:25 (fifteen years ago)

Thanks Mark - I méant it must have hurt the anti-Éurope Éxpréss to use filthy foréign punctuation.

the goon is in the gutter (onimo), Friday, 20 May 2011 09:27 (fifteen years ago)

touché

got a whole lotta gloves (snoball), Friday, 20 May 2011 09:28 (fifteen years ago)

Oh I see, I hadn't noticed.

Mark G, Friday, 20 May 2011 09:29 (fifteen years ago)

“Fifty years ago, the single-use plastic bag was almost unheard of.

“Now we use them for a few minutes and they pollute our environment for decades,” said EU Environment Commissioner Janez Potocnik.

What is this foreign madness? When our landfill is full up we'll just bury our good Christian plastic bags in the Middle East.

James Mitchell, Friday, 20 May 2011 09:33 (fifteen years ago)

we use them for a few minutes and they pollute our environment for decades

Much like a Greggs chocolate éclair.

got a whole lotta gloves (snoball), Friday, 20 May 2011 09:36 (fifteen years ago)

I like that one!

broodje kroket (dog latin), Friday, 20 May 2011 09:44 (fifteen years ago)

oops, wrong thread

broodje kroket (dog latin), Friday, 20 May 2011 09:47 (fifteen years ago)

http://news.sky.com/sky-news/content/StaticFile/jpg/2011/Jun/Week1/16003941.jpg

Wow.

James Mitchell, Thursday, 2 June 2011 07:26 (fifteen years ago)

that's quite irresponsible

You made the right choice, Deanne... (stevie), Thursday, 2 June 2011 07:34 (fifteen years ago)

also, desperate

You made the right choice, Deanne... (stevie), Thursday, 2 June 2011 07:34 (fifteen years ago)

Dead serious about continuing to produce the X-Factor

deems vs boards (DJ Mencap), Thursday, 2 June 2011 07:39 (fifteen years ago)

So what headline would they use if he really died?

Mark G, Thursday, 2 June 2011 07:57 (fifteen years ago)

(X_X) FACTOR

got a whole lotta gloves (snoball), Thursday, 2 June 2011 08:17 (fifteen years ago)

ugh that was supposed to be...

(X_X) FACTOR

got a whole lotta gloves (snoball), Thursday, 2 June 2011 08:18 (fifteen years ago)

Simon Cowell

Hippocratic Oaf (DavidM), Thursday, 2 June 2011 09:52 (fifteen years ago)

http://news.sky.com/sky-news/content/StaticFile/jpg/2011/Jun/Week2/16009105.jpg

James Mitchell, Thursday, 9 June 2011 22:19 (fifteen years ago)

Wondered what Kate was doing in East London's glorious Stratford for a minute.

James Mitchell, Thursday, 9 June 2011 22:19 (fifteen years ago)

http://news.sky.com/sky-news/content/StaticFile/jpg/2011/Jun/Week2/16010211.jpg

FREE WATER (one cup per reader, may contain hidden danger)

James Mitchell, Sunday, 12 June 2011 08:12 (fifteen years ago)

two weeks pass...

Brilliant!
http://images.dailyexpress.co.uk/img/covers/257x330front/2011-06-28.jpg

i can't, i won't (Ned Trifle II), Tuesday, 28 June 2011 07:09 (fourteen years ago)

It's got everything - melting roads, crippled Britain ("Crippled" the new "Broken"!), good news health story and subservient Scots. And free petrol. Really it's a win-win.

i can't, i won't (Ned Trifle II), Tuesday, 28 June 2011 08:13 (fourteen years ago)

mmm..

Bit cheerful though.

Mark G, Tuesday, 28 June 2011 08:32 (fourteen years ago)

Don't worry I'm sure they'll discover that sunlight causes cancer tomorrow.

i can't, i won't (Ned Trifle II), Tuesday, 28 June 2011 09:36 (fourteen years ago)

or six weeks ago http://www.express.co.uk/posts/view/244770/Mothers-put-children-at-risk-from-sun

some greenzo (onimo), Tuesday, 28 June 2011 12:25 (fourteen years ago)

http://news.sky.com/sky-news/content/StaticFile/jpg/2011/Jul/Week1/16023160.jpg

DUCHESS OPENS HER HEART, POURS IN FREE SUGAR

James Mitchell, Sunday, 3 July 2011 07:21 (fourteen years ago)

cruel bbc game show offering jobs as prizes? do they mean the apprentice?

his name was rony. rony from my cage. (stevie), Sunday, 3 July 2011 07:27 (fourteen years ago)

http://news.sky.com/sky-news/content/StaticFile/jpg/2011/Jul/Week1/16024985.jpg

James Mitchell, Tuesday, 5 July 2011 22:39 (fourteen years ago)

Literally living off bread and water with the Express.

oppet, Tuesday, 5 July 2011 23:31 (fourteen years ago)

and salt.

Mark G, Wednesday, 6 July 2011 06:52 (fourteen years ago)

The Express is always best taken with a pinch of the stuff anyway.

brian da facepalma (NickB), Wednesday, 6 July 2011 06:54 (fourteen years ago)

This is the same paper that is running this to-day.
http://www.express.co.uk/posts/view/257040/Herbal-remedy-s-nagging-relief-to-the-henpecked-

The world’s first anti-nagging medicine hit the shelves yesterday.
And, although the makers claim it works for both sexes, they admit it is particularly effective in women

They really are the best place to get your science news.

that was the last arrow in my quiver of whimsy (Ned Trifle II), Wednesday, 6 July 2011 07:16 (fourteen years ago)

http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2011/07/05/article-2011630-0CE19E3900000578-274_243x331.jpg

James Mitchell, Wednesday, 6 July 2011 07:20 (fourteen years ago)

it's the "Now"s that make me most want to kill

SB OK (Noodle Vague), Wednesday, 6 July 2011 07:22 (fourteen years ago)

bearing in mind their readership must contain a high proportion of senile stubborn illogical old gits with blood pressure issues this salt thing is pretty fucking irresponsible

SB OK (Noodle Vague), Wednesday, 6 July 2011 07:24 (fourteen years ago)

this is an unusual use of the word "Now" though - usually it's "NOW [women are allowed out of the kitchen]", the "now" is all about how we're going to hell in a handcart and hatred of modernity. this one is more...relief tinged with sarcasm? "finally we can eat salt again"? god it'd such a batshit headline even on the slowest news day.

lex pretend, Wednesday, 6 July 2011 08:25 (fourteen years ago)

Which would explain the story in Private eye, that at Glasto all the copies of the DE that got sent to the site shop were returned unsold.

Mark G, Wednesday, 6 July 2011 08:26 (fourteen years ago)

Guess they didn't run out of toilet paper this year.

You get nothing for a pair, not in this game (snoball), Wednesday, 6 July 2011 08:32 (fourteen years ago)

bearing in mind their readership must contain a high proportion of senile stubborn illogical old gits with blood pressure issues this salt thing is pretty fucking irresponsible

Look at the long game, at least no-one will be buying the Express again.

Chewshabadoo, Wednesday, 6 July 2011 08:48 (fourteen years ago)

FREE cyanide for every reader!

You get nothing for a pair, not in this game (snoball), Wednesday, 6 July 2011 08:51 (fourteen years ago)

If only salt wasn't so salty, I'd get salted off my nut right now that the DE's given the OK.

I'd love to know the economic forces that makes an organ print this shit.

One Big Craigo, Full Of Bad Boingos (Craigo Boingo), Wednesday, 6 July 2011 10:39 (fourteen years ago)

It was easy, it was cheap..

Mark G, Wednesday, 6 July 2011 12:06 (fourteen years ago)

Lorem Ipsum fulfills those criteria. And would be a better read.

ledge, Wednesday, 6 July 2011 13:58 (fourteen years ago)

http://news.sky.com/sky-news/content/StaticFile/jpg/2011/Jul/Week2/16027567.jpg

FREE LEATHER PASSPORT HOLDER SO YOU CAN GO VISIT THE NHS BILLIONS ABROAD

James Mitchell, Sunday, 10 July 2011 05:41 (fourteen years ago)


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