Worst TV adverts of the moment

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That fuckin coke ad. I mentioned it before. The one where the guy is on the train and all his "mates" are asleep and he's drinking a can of coke, and he says "it was the best night of my life". "I was gonna miss these guys". And the way he says "these guys" like as if theres a coloured history, and they're some bunch of mad tossers who do crazy stuff but despite it all he was going to miss them. Oh the things they do! Falling asleep on trains, AND drinking coke.

Then at the end of the ad there's the final insult, that annoying high pitched "life tastes good coca cola" jingle. It reminds me of those films where one corporation runs the radio stations and keeps pumping out muzak to keep people happy. it's ok everyone, LIFE TASTES GOOD!!! and you're all allowed to try it!

Ronan, Thursday, 22 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

The Argos ads are pitched perfectly at target market = 'good' ads, even though I personally dislike them.

Will, Thursday, 22 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Those Virgin ads for executive class flying or whatever it was were truly shit.

Jonnie, Thursday, 22 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Oh yeah - I'm surprised no one has mentioned the horror of the Dorritos 'friends' adverts yet. Has that reached Ferrero Rocher/Alanis Morisette levels of flogged to deathness or something?

Nick, Thursday, 22 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I make conscious efforts not to buy things if I think the ads are stupid. though I fail.

Ronan, Thursday, 22 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

The smug-faced wankism that is Archers. Stop fucking winking at me you bastard I hate you and will punch you, and oh hahaha isn't it so funny that the girl stays out later than him because she drinks Archers hahaha I bet her and the Lambrini girls love each other the stupid fucking wenches.

emil.y, Thursday, 22 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Did you say urge? ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

Alan Trewartha, Thursday, 22 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

george foreman's imac grillpan thing, WHAT THE FUCK IS ThAT!!!! "it's like a grill pan", okay, "it's ridged so you don't get as much fat in your food" riiiight "it's got a pretty coloured lid and it cooks both sides at once" okaaaaaaaaaay "george foreman say's it's really GRATE" WTF, GEORGE FOREMAN, cognitive dissonance, brain MEEEELLLLLTTTIIIINNNGG....

carsmilesteve, Thursday, 22 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

the RETURN OF THE GRILL-SHILL!!

mark s, Thursday, 22 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

1 Bacardi Breezer. It is undignified for a cat to be seen behaving like a cheap male nightclub smoothie.

2 The fabric conditioner one where the people are made out of - duh - fabric. It is disturbing to look at 'people' made out of fabric, and in fact they look horribly disfigured, like burns victims or people with hypothermia.

Ellie, Thursday, 22 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

i mean GRILL SHILLAZ !!!

mark s, Thursday, 22 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I can't stand those crappy Dani Behr McDonalds Premiere advert. They make me want to hurt Dani Behr more than usual.

(I really like those Argos adverts - they cool)

jamesmichaelward, Thursday, 22 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

There is this one ad wherein a teenager pretends to be Fred Durst from Limp Bizkit. Urgh....

helen fordsdale, Thursday, 22 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

There is this one ad wherein a teenager pretends to be Fred Durst from Limp Bizkit. Urgh....

Blimey, isn't it usually the other way round?

jamesmichaelward, Thursday, 22 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

LAMBRINI GIRLS ARGH.

Tom, Friday, 23 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

(though they oppress me from posters not the telly)

Tom, Friday, 23 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Another hated poster ad - what do these people have in common they all drink portugese wine (or something, I do not know what horrible drink they all drink all I know is that it's yet another poster with Tony Parsons gazing at me, best selling author yes)

Tom, Friday, 23 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

That German wine ad is shit as well. The one with that ex-goth lass who now is a city worker of some description and has noticed the wine changing with her. I am also dismayed by by the cheesiness of that Hardys ad with the bottle making an impression on the car, hur-hur- hur. Are all wine adverts rubbish by law or something? I can't think of a single good one off the top of my head.

RickyT, Friday, 23 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Ah now whot about the S. African wines one dominating the Northern/Victoria lines? With the funny reptile lying back in a tshirt with the S.African flag on it? Ha ha that is funny ha ha ha fetch me a bottle! As long as I can smash it OVER MY OWN HEAD argh. Tube adverts surely don't count. I still want to know why they are all so crap for car insurance (if yer on the tube = good chance you don't drive and not target demographic SURELY) and LET YER BODY KNOW WHEN TO CONCIEVE helff fads. Sheesh.

Sarah, Friday, 23 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I have never seen a wine ad except 'le francais adore Le Piat D'or' which I doubt even counts as wine. Is wine advertising targeted at the metropolis, or have I missed my demographic?

Ellie, Friday, 23 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

"In France it's part of the language" => very very very angry RickyT shouting at television.

RickyT, Friday, 23 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Spitfire Ale is even worse though.

Wine ads infest the London Underground system. That and ads for ten- week 'philosophy' courses.

Tom, Friday, 23 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

'I AM DRUG FREE' screams trophy winning golfer.

Will, Friday, 23 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Are any of the common ads on the tube any good? Travel insurance = shit, cheap phone calls = shit, wellwoman pills = very smug detoxified woman therefore shit, cartoon strip style loan ads = even shitter, car insurance ads = dreadful with particular brickbats going to Diamond (car insurance for girls NOT men) and Admiral (Tim and whatserface 'soap opera' type affair only the fuckers can't even be bothered to use the same models from episode to episode) and as pointed out above why do I want car insurance when I'm on the sodding TRAIN anyway?

Must. Calm. Down.

RickyT, Friday, 23 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

'Scientology helped me become a successful photographer', yes yes but it also made you look like Greg Evigan.

RickyT, Friday, 23 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

'Sorry John, try as hard as you like, Diamond is only for women'

John is a c**t.

Will, Friday, 23 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I am a Planet Talker. It is you who are mad.

Tom, Friday, 23 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

"You know what I'm like with shoes! Anyway, today's paaaaaaaaaaaaayday." Lock the bitch up.

Jonnie, Friday, 23 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I've just remembered I have to turn away when that drink ad with the piano playing dog appears. It really freaks me out. I hate that dog.

Lambrini girls are classic. As David Bell, chief executive of Cheetham Bell JWT, which devised the campaign said:

"It is a drink for salt-of-the-earth girls to drink before they go out, maybe while chatting or putting their make-up on. While they do that, they probably crack jokes about their boyfriends. I've never heard of any men being offended by these ads. They're quite clearly just a bit of fun.'

Who'd have thought that one day computers would allow us to watch adverts at work

Nick, Friday, 23 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

"At the link it's eeeezzeeee...." Interminably dull. Young lady trades in her "embarassing mobile phone" cuz it doesn't play the latest blingin' tunes, to the accompaniment of the blandest sub-Shed Seven dirge imaginable.

Millions of years of evolution and THIS is what they expect us to aspire to.

Trevor, Friday, 23 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

'You don't have to be wild and wacky to enjoy Lambrini, but it helps!"
You don't have to be wild and wacky at all! JUST GO AWAY.

will, Friday, 23 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

The anthropomorphized dog works on teh same principle as the Breezer cat. I mind less about the dog because dogs have less dignity to be besmirched. It's also the same principle as those creepy animated babies who discuss personal finance.

Ellie, Friday, 23 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

And the dog doesn't cheer Arsenal on in a penalty shoot out. Oooh, I hate that cat.

Jonnie, Friday, 23 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I was going to mention that unbelievably smug couple on the car insurance adverts I loathe them and don't care about their stupid fictional relationship dramas. If they really had such a petrfect relationship surely they would talk about something else other than bloody car insurance? Click here and fly to Canada - oh fine, just need a spare £600 quid too at their prices. And on the escalators: Lancome free gift. Lancome free gift. Lancome free gift. Lancome free gift. It's Clinique bonous time! It's Clinique bonous time! It's Clinique bonous time! It's Clinique bonous time! And all TV Asda adverts.

Anna, Friday, 23 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I flew to Canada (Toronto) to for £224 return with that company so I think they're ace.

Jonnie, Friday, 23 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Anna - that AA couple aren't smug! They're miserable and fractious and a chilling emblem of our times.

I LOVE the Link advert, but I'm prepared to accept it's for similar "ah - a good old fashioned cheery crappy ad" reasons as my fondness for the never updated Argos campaign.

creepy animated babies who discuss personal finance.

Ooh yes - that's the original 'I have to change channels cause this makes me nauseous' ad. Apparently Madchen's gran loves it cause it reminds her of Madchen's dad at a similar age.

Nick, Friday, 23 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

so am i weird for collecting the admiral insurance ads from the tube. bless them, they saved £££s.

Alan Trewartha, Friday, 23 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

"I LOVE the Link advert"

Pervert.

Actually, this reminds me of a girl I used to know who said she loved dentist drills.

Trevor, Friday, 23 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Boddingtons ones with the transgender cow on the pull. AAAAAGH.

Any ad where the magic of Animatronics allows toddlers or animals to SPEAK. GRRRRRR!

Any ad on Channel 5 which shows exactly what media buyers think of the viewers, eg debt ones, dial LAWYERS ones, old folks' maladies and life insurance ones. All the most awfyul American imports of the ages in one break from Family Affairs omnibus when I am hung over and de-motivated. SCREEEEEE!

suzy, Friday, 23 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Stupid Currys advert where they deliver a new telly to the woman who used to be Viv's mate on Emmerdale on a SUNDAY, shock horror, while her useless hubby is asleep in an armchair, and the delivery men say 'shall we take the old thing away' and she says 'no let him sleep it is Sunday after all'.

God I hate that it is SO CONTRIVED who would say 'shall I take the old thing away' you'd say 'shall I take the old one / old telly away'. Only then of course the hilarious punchline wouldn't work.

Emma, Friday, 23 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Boddingtons transgender cow = GRATE esp. first ep when girl-girl fellatio-facial is somehow implied k-blimey oreillyXoR who approved THAT!!

mark s, Friday, 23 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I'm sort of chums with the bloke in the new Wrigleys adverts - the one who smashes sandwiches and cream cakes with a massive packet of Orbit or whatever. These ads = classic or dud? particularly compared to the meta-cheesy "she's love your onion breath" ads of youre?

Mark C, Friday, 23 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

They remind me of the last series of Takeover TV = they are rather poor.

RickyT, Friday, 23 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

God I hate that it is SO CONTRIVED who would say 'shall I take the old thing away' you'd say 'shall I take the old one / old telly away'. Only then of course the hilarious punchline wouldn't work.

There are many ambiguous things they could ask that would be better than 'shall I take the old thing away?'. How about 'shall I take this old pile of shit away?' or 'this isn't much use to you know - shall I take it away?' or 'do you want me to get rid of your husband?' ('husband' is slang for TV set in Berkshire)

Nick, Friday, 23 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

They're absolute dud Mark. They're obviously based on Trigger Happy TV: problem here being that most people who watched that I would think are not the type of people who would go "Oh this reminds me a bit of something I like therefore I will buy it" so Orbit = WRONG! I also hate that ICE advert where the chap goes through an airport security thing and gets a lady guard to strip him down URGH. Please. Smug self-satisfied wankXoR. Oh god I can go home in ten minutes. Pleeeeeeease hurry up. I shall keep an eye out for Mark @ Embankment tube also but considering he has just posted I thinks I will probably not be seeing him there.

Sarah, Friday, 23 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Aargh, thinko. I meant Trigger Happy not Takeover above.

RickyT, Friday, 23 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

most people who watched that I would think are not the type of people who would go "Oh this reminds me a bit of something I like therefore I will buy it"
I think you are deliberately misunderstanding the process by which advertising works.

Nick, Friday, 23 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

McDonalds ad...grumpy sister comes in, "what's wrong?" asks little brother..."nothing"...little brother raids money box, takes out his LAST £2!...Goes to McDonalds and buys her a happy meal.

What kinda of messed up message is this? Blowing your last two quid on a happy meal for someone else? I mean the kid could have at least had got his dad to pay for it! (you get the thanks without incurring financial hardship = crafty!)

james, Sunday, 25 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

"Mervyn's-it begins with me!" Die, Mervyn's Lady, die!

Arthur, Sunday, 25 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

The new one for Chrysler using "the Universal" (one of the only truly lovely Blur songs! Curse Kojack Albarn and his Freddy Krueger dreams of world domination). It shows these Chrysler execs (designers, I suppose) getting all misty eyed about the thought of their beloved children, the cars, having to go out into the cruel world without them (hence the "Just Let Them Go" refrain from the song).

Chrysler is one of company's clients, and believe me the only thing any of them would ever get misty eyed about is the idea of spending an extra dime. If they could make a crappy car out of nerf and sell it for a profit they would.

Also, Maura's Chrysler ad is really bad as well. Someone shoot their ad agency.

I don't have anything against Chrysler really, but their commercials are bad. BMW are 100 times worse to deal with as a client but their commercials are clever.

Nicole, Sunday, 25 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

i had to google to check if this airbnb advert with "Golden Slumbers" on it was the Beatles's original and apparently it is and god that's some horrible singing. more like bellowing, really.

podcast Diderot (Noodle Vague), Sunday, 8 March 2026 01:55 (three months ago)

The short version of this advert seems to be shown on every ITV evening commercial break and most YouTube pre-rolls:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y1d9tvV4SZw
Someone must have been very pleased with themselves for coming up with that "gastronaut" pun but this is dire.

you gotta roll with the pączki to get to what's real (snoball), Sunday, 8 March 2026 07:55 (three months ago)

two weeks pass...

I've been largely watching stuff ad-free for the past several years, either streaming or recorded programmes. But a few evenings of watching Prime and I hate Uber Eats and Jude Law.

kinder, Saturday, 28 March 2026 19:35 (two months ago)

two weeks pass...

your dad walked out 8 years ago and you miss him. you decide to send him a message. and what easier way could there be than using google assistant to help you with this? so why not buy a new volvo, because they now come with google assistant?

koogs, Wednesday, 15 April 2026 08:34 (one month ago)

I find the Confused.com ads where people inflate and pop at once disturbing and patronising. I can only assume negative press is the intention

rameau in the main room (dog latin), Wednesday, 15 April 2026 09:40 (one month ago)

I'm not sure what they're trying to say... largely because I have zero interest in what they're trying to say tbf.

Clarinet Cop (Tom D.), Wednesday, 15 April 2026 10:08 (one month ago)

very disappointed that they redubbed the Dylon ads as i was low key in love with the way she said "have you clothes lost their maaahgic"

the Don King of donking (Noodle Vague), Wednesday, 15 April 2026 13:16 (one month ago)

The Ben & Jerry's ad with "in order to top it we had to bottom it" - they must know what they're doing but the voiceover is a masterclass in obliviousness, te salut

the Don King of donking (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 16 April 2026 13:46 (one month ago)

there are 3 or 4 very slightly different versions of the 'girl somewhere in asia gets sent chocolate by her sister' ad. close enough so you think you imagined the other version, every time, until you see it again. ('cadbury' instead of 'package' is one such difference)

the woman with the ugly Better Boxes. it's another of those meta-ads where they are advertising something in place of the people who actually make them. they do the same thing with chemist stuff. Must Have Ideas / Medifacts.

koogs, Thursday, 30 April 2026 11:37 (one month ago)

Oh, and verisure will now phone an ambulance for you...

press the emergency button
verisure calls you
you answer the phone and say you need an ambulance
verisure calls the ambulance

which seems like 3 steps more than necessary

koogs, Thursday, 30 April 2026 16:21 (one month ago)

they're putting urea in face cream now?

koogs, Wednesday, 6 May 2026 02:39 (one month ago)

"hi. chicken?"

koogs, Saturday, 9 May 2026 11:35 (four weeks ago)

"Delicate, what's a delicate?"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ISXbNwXzR1c

Clarinet Cop (Tom D.), Monday, 11 May 2026 12:01 (four weeks ago)

(does remind me that university must be a much different experience now because people are more in touch - when i was there we had 6 very busy payphones between 650 people. had perhaps one letter a term, if that)

koogs, Monday, 11 May 2026 12:40 (four weeks ago)

Gulag for everybody responsible for Hellmann's's desperate new annoyance

Wildfowler (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 19 May 2026 12:28 (two weeks ago)

i hadn't even realised that car crash of an ad was for hellmans until it was just on and i remembered your post.

(it's the one in the deli with the Neil Diamond song)

koogs, Tuesday, 19 May 2026 18:26 (two weeks ago)

It invokes powerful feelings in me that would be best not invoked

Wildfowler (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 19 May 2026 18:42 (two weeks ago)

New Birdseye Fish Fingers ad is a grotesque combination of Yankification and what appears to be cheap AI

Wildfowler (Noodle Vague), Wednesday, 20 May 2026 07:12 (two weeks ago)

(oh, it says 'meal diamond' on his jacket)

koogs, Wednesday, 20 May 2026 18:17 (two weeks ago)

I know. That doesn't h3lp, right?

Wildfowler (Noodle Vague), Wednesday, 20 May 2026 18:55 (two weeks ago)

two weeks pass...

"Picky bits" justifies disbanding the Coop and jailing the board

GTech vacuum cleaner brags that it leaves the carpet beautifully striped. Mate, I think you'm thinking of lawnmowers

99 gram lychee (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 6 June 2026 15:46 (two days ago)

I hate all ads, violently resent their presence in my life, and have coined the pejorative “advert humour” for a particular shitty joke style that has infected mainstream films. I do not laugh at ads

EXCEPT the knife crime ad that sometimes plays at the cinema, I have never not laughed at the kid going “oh my days - there is no safe place to get stabbed” (although I have never laughed as much as the first time)

unclear apocalypse (wins), Saturday, 6 June 2026 16:15 (two days ago)

I haven't seen that one, I shd go to the cinema more

99 gram lychee (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 6 June 2026 16:34 (two days ago)

Same on the violent hatred of adverts tho

99 gram lychee (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 6 June 2026 16:35 (two days ago)

currently cringing at sharipova's squeaky voice and clumsy shrug. that's somehow meant to get me to drink beer.

Bog Dork (koogs), Saturday, 6 June 2026 16:55 (two days ago)


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